Journal of Sacred Work

Happiest Hospital Building Opening Ever

    At the center of Liz Wessel's gorgeous watercolor in the weekend Journal are the words, "Everything done with love is true."     A

    When you lead with love, lovely things happen.

    February 10, 1989, was an especially joyful day for caregivers at Riverside Methodist Hospital. The happiest place inside a hospital celebrates birth. On that winter day, the happiest place outside Riverside was the new on campus daycare center.

   You can see fun in the picture. You cannot see numerous innovations that made the center magical. Adjacent to the usual adult entrance, is, surprise, a little-kid-sized door for students! 

    No "Sick Room" there. Instead, the "Get Better Center."

   Taking care of the people who take care of people means seeing the workplace from the caregiver's, not the executive's standpoint. That is what Senior Vice President for HR Mark Evans, his associate Carole Stanley, and the rest of the team did.

   Thirty six years later, I remain so grateful for the thousands of things the HR team did under Mark's leadership by improving the work environment.

   Yes, that was a happiest opening I attended. It even got funny .  I asked 5-year old Hillary if she was excited by the opening.

   "Nope," she deadpanned.

   But her brother, 3-year old Andy, saved the day. He immediately picked up his plastic shovel and handed it to me. 

   Hillary and her brother are now 40 and 38. I bet they remember that place and its custom front door. And I bet their parents loved Riverside as a place that cared for its caregivers. 

-Erie Chapman

 

 

     

 

The Quarterback, the Comedian & Superbowl XIII*

 How do leaders find calm and caring in crisis? Legendary leaders are universal students even though Winston Churchill said, "I'm always ready to learn, although I don't always like being taught."

  Still, he always watched how others fielded crises. Churchill would never say, "I can't learn from a conductor because I'm not a musician." or, "I can't learn from sports. I hate sports." 

Joe & John

   A comical learning occurred at Superbowl XIII when iconic quarterback Joe Montana, using five words only heard by ten men, suddenly made famous comedian John Candy a team member!

   January 22, 1989. Cincinnatti Bengals versus San Francisco 49ers (a fellow Ohioan gave me tickets.)

   3:10 to go. Bengals up 16-13. 49ers have possession but on their own 8-yard line. 

   A 49er said later, "Unbearable tension...92 yards to pay dirt? Impossible...Then Joe entered the huddle." 

   Stop! What would you say? 

1.    "Stay calm."
2.    "Here's the play."
3.    "Don't panic."

   Instead, Joe pointed to the crowd. "Hey, isn't that John Candy?" 

   It worked. He knew his players were scared and how to settle them. With 39 seconds left, he fired the victory pass.

   Forever after, Montana was known as, "Joe Cool," underscored when Bengal's opponent Chris Collinsworth reported, "At the 45 yard line I saw Joe's eyes. I knew we were finished."

The eyes.

    Ten years later I re-learned the power of calm eyes. Baptist Hospital System's accountants delivered a fear-triggering shock shortly after I became CEO. I had been told the bottom line would be 10 million. The hidden truth was a $73 million loss! Bankruptcy was imminent.

   "Are you okay?" Chief Operating Officer Paul Moore asked me mid-crisis.

   "Yes. Why?"

    "Some employees told me, 'We saw Mr. Chapman walking through the cafeteria looking worried."

   Darn it! Other expressions besides panic can signal trouble.Leaders never have the luxury of showing fear or worry.

   The great news? A record-breaking turnaround. That story later.

-Erie Chapman

*This story will reappear in my forthcoming book currently titled, After the Lightning - Stories of Crisis Leadership

**Photo: Joe Montana and John Candy (Outkick)

The Universal Santa

  My earliest friend appeared in 1946 when, at three, I met my neighbor, Jill. We are still friends! (1951 photo by my dad)

   Because her family had a Christmas tree and gave presents, I did not know she was Jewish until about eight - or even what that meant.

   Christians, raised like I, childishly thought that our holiday, bearing our savior's name, must be the best. Even Jill's Jewish family celebrated "our" holiday. Therefore our religion must be superior.

   Then at twelve, we moved from L.A. to Toledo, My new best friend, Greg. was Catholic.    

   "You're going to hell," he said before Christmas.

   "What?"

   "Only Catholics get heaven,"* he said confidently. 

   "You mean being Methodist is not enough?" 

   "Nope," he said.  

   Greg was a year older and I looked up to him. It was like he was saying, "If you don't believe in Santa, no presents!"

   I asked my Mom. "Oh, those Catholics," she said dismissively. 

   When we moved to Nashville ("The Buckle on the Bible Belt") a hospital board member shook my hand, leaned in and asked in a loud whisper, "You're a good Christian, right?"

   "I'm trying," I answered, "and since you're a Christian,  how are you doing praying for your enemies?"

   His laugh signaled he did not take that teaching seriously. 

   Today, as an ordained minister, I follow Jesus and his teachings. Many Christians believe that Jesus spoke literally when he said, "You can only come to God through me." 

   My deepest belief is that God is Love for all, not just Christians. Why would a non-Christian who lives love go to hell?

   Love is the universal Santa. A patient's religion plays no role in treatment. Living love assures a sacred and magical holiday. 

   Merry Christmas from my family (including our five grandkids) to you and yours.

-Rev. Erie Chapman

Photo: 5 Grandchildren - by Tia Chapman. 

   

  

A Double Drowning: Lightning Leadership During Trailing Thunder

When and how are crisis behaviors learned? Childhood experiences are early teachers. 

Balboa, California, Summer, 1951 Dad and I (pictured in 1949) strolled with my little sister along its beach. Suddenly, "lightning" struck. A pair of unconscious teens was being dragged from the water.

A crowd gathered. The boys, blue-faced, were dropped on towels. 

“They’ve drowned,” someone said. 

My seven-year-old heart was racing. Was anyone going to do anything?

Everyone just stood there except one.

“Watch out for your sister!” Dad ordered. Racing forward, he cradled one boy, then looked up at the crowd.

“You,” he commanded another adult. “Take the other boy and copy what I’m doing.”

The startled man obeyed.

No CPR back then. My father used the “Holger-Neilsen Rescue Method.” Riveted, I watched him turn the dying boy onto his stomach, lean his own body weight forward, and push down rhythmically on the boy’s back. No response.

  “Keep at it,” dad called to his partner. So the other man persisted.

  Amid the thundering crisis, lightning struck again. The dead boy coughed up volumes of water, and opened his eyes.

   “Okay?” dad asked raising him up.

   “Yes,” he sputtered.

A miracle! I thought. Death into life.

The other boy was still “out.” Dad rushed over, eased the other helper aside, continued life saving to complete a second miracle.

Without dad, the boys would have died.

---

The lightning of that crisis struck the crowd equally. In the trailing thunder only dad stepped forward. Only he found the courage to lead.

Head of the Hollywood YMCA and already my hero, he had shared other stories of life saving. I had never seen him do it.

Many freeze in post-crises thunder. My father showed me, again, what leadership looked - including with his final act that day.

“Let’s go, kids” he said, leading us offstage.

As we walked away, I studied the bystanders. No one patted my hero father on the back. He did not need that. 

Humility, common in caregivers, rare among leaders, needs no applause.

-Erie Chapman, III

Charity Toward All, Revenge, or Bless Them, Change me?

I. "Bless them, change me"

   My friend, perfectly named Ed Goodrich, changed my life today. He knows my distress amid our national leadership crises and how it may impact caregivers.  

   "There's a four word phrase that could help," he said. "When insulted, pray: 'Bless them, change me.'" 

   Instantly, I felt better. No more saying "I'll pray for you." That sounds like I'm asking my God to change your "wrong" into my "right." Bless you. Change me. 

   Beware of political brain fog. Because we support Trump or Harris does mean we ARE either. 

II."With charity toward all"

Cursing fellow Americans while refusing to practice love can be deadly.

  "We are not enemies, but friends," our most admired President told 25,000. "We must not be enemies," he begged; passion may strain friendships, but, "it must not break our bonds of affection."

   Listen to "the better angels of [y]our nature," Abraham Lincoln implored.

   The crowd agreed and fatally failed to heed.

   It was March 4, 1861. Just thirty-nine days later, April 12, 1861, Confederate soldiers fired on Fort Sumter. Deafness to the new President's appeal triggered the most tragic display of homicidal idiocy in American history.

   March 4, 1865, precisely four years later, a victorious and heartbroken Lincoln, appealed once more to the best angels among his 40,000 listeners. Millions had died or suffered other unspeakable loss. Northerners wanted what men's darkest demons always seek: Revenge. 

   Lincoln, would have none of it. "With malice toward none, with charity for all" he told the startled crowd "...let us bind up the nation's wounds, care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan...do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace..."

  April 14, 1865 the calendar again tolled tragedy. Four years and two days after Rebels fired canon balls into Fort Sumter, a revenge-poisoned Rebel fired a single bullet into the head of our finest President.  Lincoln had joined the list of the Civil War dead.

III. "Ultimate and absolute revenge"?

  The same revenge-devil that poisoned Lincoln's assassin now darkens the voice of former President Trump. Increasingly over recent days he has repeatedly promised "ultimate and absolute revenge" against anyone, including Republicans, who opposed him. The list grows by the hour and now includes not just Harris and Pelosi but numerous former members of his own cabinet. A few days ago, he said former Republican Congressman Liz Cheney, should be "shot in the face" by a 9-person firing squad.  

   Will we choose a champion of "Charity toward all" or break "the bonds of affection" by choosing an advocate of violence by Americans against Americans?

   Yes. Trump remains a child of God. May God's blessing quiet hate from both sides, and change us. 

   Meanwhile, why wait for leaders to unite us? Regardless of party, why not heed the voices of our better angels?

-Reverend Erie Chapman, M.T.S., J.D. 

 

   

 

Can Hope Conquer Fear?

   Every patient wants from every caregiver confidence and hope. Every caregiver seeks the same from every leader.

   During my many years leading Riverside Methodist, founding OhioHealth, leading Baptist Hospital System and several other healthcare organizations this has always been my goal. Strategies unfold from caring about caregivers and the work they do and building cultures that sustain that.

   Leadership is sacred work. Trump's approach is threatening to undermine this kind of leadership. 

   How does a leader impact your energy?

   March 4, 1933. 91 years ago. Imagine it today. Americans were terrified. The stock market crash and Great Depression meant America was drowning in an insidious disease: Fear. 

   On that day, President Franklin Roosevelt (FDR) delivered a massive dose of what every American required to cure Fear. Hope. 

   One line rings Hope's bell today: "The only thing we have to fear," FDR intoned, "is fear itself." 

   FDR's energy exudes from the 45 second video. As he spoke I imagine "Fear itself" shrinking. (click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjhPozIeyoY )

   Across the sea Germans, drowning in the same Depression, heard the opposite. Hitler's message: Germany is falling apart. Only I can save you!

   Sound familiar? In 2016 Trump, painted an America in ruins (he still does) and declared, "I alone can fix it."

   In 1933, Fear found a foe in America and an ally in Germany. In 2024, Fear found a criminal ally in America - Donald Trump. Hope found Kamala Harris. 

  "America is strong. I believe in us," Kamala Harris says, like Reagan, Obama, Clinton & most Presidents before. 

   Harris is Hope and Love. Trump is Fear and Hate. 

   Experts say fear is more powerful. Prove them wrong. 

   Cowards prefer bullies.The courageous always choose hope.

   Good leaders always bring out the best in us. Bad ones elicit the worst. 

   If Trump wins, I will, like Kamala, still lean into love...And dread the firehose of hate, lies and fear-mongering he will pour on our country.   

   Should Kamala win, Hope will make "A Comeback.

   That is what happens when Presidents lead with love. 

-Erie Chapman

Poster: Artist unknown

    

The Perfect Crimes? So What!

 "If the Democratic Party wants to stand with anarchists, agitators, rioters, looters, and flag-burners, that is up to them, but I, as your president, will not be a part of it. We must always have law and order." -Trump speech at the 2020 Republic National Convention.

   Law and order? Trump hopes we give up and ignore his crimes.

   After becoming a hospital CEO, I was surprised by how many hospital leaders commit "perfect crimes."  Some CEO's, Vice Presidents and prominent doctors get away with taking kickbacks or escaping sexual assault charges or embezzling money, and more.

   As a federal prosecutor in the 1970's I saw criminals every day. But hospital leaders? How could they get away with crimes?

   Not hard if the facts are ignored. 

   I remember my debut trial. "Not guilty" the foreman pronounced to a shocked judge, me, and even the defendant's own attorney. 

   A bigger shock came when the jurors said later. "Sure, he did it. So what?," one mentioned. "It was just a bomb threat," scoffed another. "He's a kid (19)." 

   The "kid" committed a perfect crime because jurors ignored the facts. Lawyers call it: "Jury nullification."

   Recently, I asked you to be a leader deciding if you would hire someone with a serial criminal background. Now, you are a juror. 

   Americas will soon deliver a verdict in the world's most important case:  Which candidate will lead the free world?

   If you choose the former President you must ignore his conviction on 34 felony counts, his liability for rape, his guilt for bank fraud, and the four other major criminal cases pending against him. 

   One is Election Fixing. After the votes showed a Biden victory, Trump called Georgia's Republican Secretary of State (pictured) and ordered him to, "Find me 11,880 votes!"  

   January 6, 2021 is now among the darkest days in American Constitutional history. The former President faces obstruction of justice and other crimes for agitating the rioters looters, and flag-defacers. Over 1200 other participants have been charged and 750 convicted. 

   If elected, Trump's pardons will free him of everything possible and release hundreds of January 6 convicts. Law and order?

   Detectives seek a criminal's "MO" (modus operandi.) We know Trump's con game. 

   He wants to commit the perfect crimes on the biggest stage possible and then sneer, "Gotcha!"

   Will you think "So What" and let him get away with it? 

-Erie Chapman

The Strange Way Grief Enriches Gratitude - Day 332-336

   Inside Thanksgiving joy another voices calls to me: "You better be grateful, buster, because you are incredibly lucky."

   That voice speaks truth...and can fuel guilt anytime I hear myself regretting, rather than grieving, a loss. It is good to take responsibility for failures like betraying a friend. It is foolish to wallow in that guilt rather than to let it teach you how to honor that same friend and the great times you shared.    

  Wisdom offers a strange truth: Grief, makes gratitude possible. Stripped of its low notes of grief incessant optimism can ring as dull as some Hallmark cards. 

   My best consultant is 19-year old grandson Miles. I have never encountered anyone who cultivates daily gratitude as richly as does he. 

   In his phone calls from college he routinely reports he is doing "GREAT." But he is no pollyanna. 

   "Why do you always sound like you just won the lottery?" I asked,

   "Because I am luckier than a lottery winner," he said. "And bad breaks can turn good. I was six and sad when my parents divorced. When they remarried I got great new step parents."

   When his other grandfather died, he cried his eyes out. Each tear signaled grief and gratitude.

   Positivity is power. Turning to it or jumping over it before grieving is a mistake. 

   Odd how I offer wisdom I rarely practice. My brand of sentimentality harbors fantasies of reclamation. And it is true that no mourning devalues what was there.

   Yet, wallowing in mourning or dismissing the loss, creates a self-made prison. Grief, makes gratitude possible. Honoring what once was creates meaning.

  The discovery, at 80, that without meaningful grief there is no meaningful gratitude has opened one of life's richest energies. I hope it will do the same for you.

-Erie Chapman 

Picture: Tyler & Miles Chapman

Does Healthcare Need a Female President? Days 323-325

   A caregiver friend who rarely talks "politics" broke her silence recently with a rhetorical question: "Is our choice for President really going to be between two elderly white guys?"

   Her tone bore the despair of millions. The Journal is not a political site. Yet, even though caregivers know government's giant impact on healthcare many have thrown up their hands and stopped paying attention. 

   Freed of an organizational timetable, and a lifelong student of leadership in general and Presidential leadership in particular, I have taken time you may not have to study up. 

   First, a multipart syllogism: Since healthcare leadership has lost its way; and since the vast majority of CEOs are my fellow males; therefore, we need women in charge.

   More accurately, we need either women, or men with enough feminine energy to practice Dr. King's injunction: Leaders must be tender-hearted as well as tough-minded.  

   Second, electing a woman as President is a great way to shatter the glass ceiling nationwide. This is our chance to do something America has never done: elect a woman.

   Third, in an effort to be objective, I offer a choice for each side. For Democrats and others anxious about Biden's age, check out a capable middle aged, two-time governor with the ability to inspire America: Michigan's Gretchen Whitmer. (left)

   For Republicans, a superior alternative to Trump has emerged. Many of her policies are different than mine, however she displays excellent leadership skills, is a former governor, and, like Whitmer, demonstrates skill, intelligence and maturity: South Carolina's Nikki Haley. 

   Clearly, these are just my thoughts. My urgent invitation is this: If you care about leadership in general, healthcare in particular and feel discouraged, I offer you hope: There are good alternatives out there. Two of the best are women. 

-Erie Chapman

   

   

The Audition - Days 312-316

   Invited to photograph dancers at an audition, I found myself judging the performers even though I was not the casting director.

    As each hopeful awaited their music cue some looked nervous. Auditions suggest judging & judging raises that awful specter called Rejection. If we were always our best selves, no practice would be needed. If we truly trusted our God within it would be nice, but not necessary, to have others' approval. 

   Auditioning is innate. Does not an infant begin "performing" the moment they discover behaviors that serve them? Smiling done for approval signals that auditioning has begun. 

   Every job I wanted required an audition before I was "cast." Dating is an audition process. Think of the tryouts you went through to become a professional caregiver? To live successfully in society we routinely pursue one thing: acceptance. Approval from others of our okay-ness.

   Early in my hospital leadership I visited a doctor who had become a patient. He was lying in bed wearing scrubs. 

   "Hey, I don't want to look like a patient," he told me with a chuckle.

   The doctor was auditioning because he knew what we know: A patient gown is demeaning. Maybe his doctor costume would protect him.

   It was an early signal that what patients & caregivers need from leaders is an environment where both were honored. What an uphill campaign! 

   We are told, "You don't need to 'perform.' I care for you as you are." 

   But life is flooded with judgments. Depression's onset in the late 1990s taught that gloominess is off-putting. I had to pretend "normal" or find myself alone. 

   Naturally, discernment & evaluation are necessary disciplines. What I love about the God of my understanding is that Love is patient, kind & forgiving. Does realizing that mean I can stop auditioning?

-Erie Chapman

Photograph: "The Audition" Erie Chapman, 2022   

Days 319-323 - The Best HR Leader in America!

 Every autumn for at least a decade (until COVID) Mark Evans would climb into his car & make the long drive from Columbus, Ohio to Nashville. Just to wish me a Happy Birthday.

   We would lunch & often review memories of our decade (update 1995) as members of the leadership team that guided Riverside Methodist Hospital from average to exceptional. That dream team laid the foundation that lifted RMH to top ten status & enabled it to become the flagship, in 1984, for the U.S. Health (now OhioHealth) multi-hospital system.  

   After lunch, despite entreaties that he stay over night, Mark would climb back into his car & make the long drive home. 

   "Why," I often asked him, "would you drive so far just for lunch." His answer was always the same. Gratitude.

   He would tell me I gave him his finest opportunity & brought out the best in him. In fact, the credit goes to him.

   One hundred percent of great organizations have great cultures & great Human Resources leadership. The seeds were there (along with weeds) when I hired Mark. By the time he & other leaders left, Riverside was a thriving garden offering nourishment to hundreds of thousands.  

   Some facts. By 1995, turnover had dropped from from over 20% to 8%. Employee & patient satisfaction was at an all time high. Riverside was picked as "One of America's Best Places to Work" by Working Mother Magazine, referenced in the book The Service Edge as one of America's top three best service organizations & honored by ABC News as a top ten hospital.

   Back then, it seemed everyone wanted to work at Riverside & no one wanted to leave. Openings were filled as fast as they appeared because there were sometimes ten applicants for open positions. 

   When I expressed that the first job of leaders was to take care of the people who take care of people, Mark took me seriously. He would be the first to credit his team. They included, among many others, Carol Stanley, who, with Mark, led the effort to create a world class day care center on campus & coordinated the establishment of on-campus shopping via a Kroger's, Dry Cleaners & video rental facility in the middle of the parking lot; the late, wonderful, Marcy Alton who developed the best employee recognition program I've ever seen, & Colleen Pero, who labored to ensure fair benefits for all staff. 

   HR oversaw the whole process for hiring, promotions, terminations & training at RMH. Gene Rhodes, Mary Alice Rice, Diane Schaub & Sharon Smeltz were key team members. Because we were looking for certain personality types in our culture, outside psychologists Thaddeus O’Brien & Andy Passon were important guides. Ron Cadieux (who passed away very recently) offered wonderful guidance to ensure that our training & orientation programs were integral in developing a culture of what is now called Radical Loving Care^®.  

   Mark, along with our magnificent Chaplain, the late Bob Davis, supported the entire effort to deliver loving care that honored RMH's mission as a faith-based hospital.

   If you are making a list of leaders who made Riverside great during that period be sure & include Mark Evans...& put lots of gold stars next to his name! Across 45 years of healthcare leadership, he is the best HR leader I ever encountered. That is because he is also one of the finest men I know. 

   On behalf of everyone in our great Riverside of those days, & everyone who wonders how Riverside became the best of what it is today, thank you, Mark. 

-Erie Chapman

https://www.eriechapmanfoundation.net/

Photograph of Mark Evans by Barb Schwartz. @1993  http://www.barbschwartzphotography.com/

   

Days 221-225 M.I.T. Scientists: Distance Prayer Can Work!

   A ray of sun travels millions of miles & lands on a single magnolia leaf. Presto: photosynthesis enables the leaf to synthesize foods from carbon dioxide & oxygen.

   What if "Thoughts & Prayers," (a now-trite phrase) are not distance dependent?  Could regular reader, Sister Maureen McDermott, aim a healing prayer from her Australian home towards Liz Wessel in California & affect Liz's body chemistry?

   "No!" Scientists always said. Now, new evidence from scientists suggests what the faithful believe. "Yes!" Our prayers can help heal...& distance is irrelevant! 

   There is no area where spirituality & science intersect more tantalizingly than in quantum physics. 

   But, if you are a poet, musician or science-hater you probably missed news from the world-renown Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). Starting back in 2013 MIT Technology Review wrote: "The ability to control one quantum particle by manipulating another somewhere else sounds like the stuff of science fiction. Now physicists say they know how to do it."

   So can you. Since our thoughts, as brain waves, are quantum particles (including photons or electrons) their travels are not restricted by distance.  Scientists call the transport process "teleportation" & describe it in the article as "one of the more extraordinary phenomena in the quantum world. It, [teleportation] allows a quantum object, such as a photon or electron, to travel from one location to another without passing through the space in between." (Italics added)

   Distance prayers may have been working for millennia!

   Larry Dossey, M.D., author of Healing Words, told me this thirty years ago on my international t.v. show, Life Choices with Erie Chapman. But, I was doubtful & rarely read science journals. My son-in-law, Alberto Pierotti, does & led me to the latest research.  

   The faithful have always used distance prayer. Now faith-doubting scientists may join ministers in weaponizing thoughts to help defeat disease.  

   Perhaps, your prayers will gain new energy. Someone across the ocean will experience new healing...& wonder why. 

-Rev. Erie Chapman

Photograph: "Magnolia" - Erie Chapman

   

Days 207-211 How Leaders Never Miss an Opportunity to Miss an Opportunity

   "Here's what we doctors say about administrators," a cardiologist said recently, "They never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity."

   The comment is painfully accurate. Most leaders squander their best power: To make life better for caregivers & patients. 

   As a trial lawyer entering hospital leadership in 1975 I asked myself a core question & got an answer that changed my life &  the lives of hundreds of thousands since.

   Who is my client?"

   I sat in the ER & watched patients come go. Untrained in anything but law, I wondered how I could help? A Code Blue was called. I took a few steps & stopped. What was I going to do, draft a will? I knew I could use the law to warn of the need for better care but I was given the chance to do more. 

   That is how it came to me. I was responsible for several departments. Maybe those caregivers were my "clients". If I took loving care of them they would take better care of patients & each other. As a side point, we would also minimize lawsuits & practices that lead to them. I had the power to impact the quality of their lives & they had the power to heal people in need!

   I did not want to "miss this opportunity."

   For the next forty-five years I led tens of thousands of caregivers in three different health care systems, a healthcare company & two charitable foundations. The simple leadership mission of "taking care of the people who take care of people" resonated through every place I led. Employee & patient satisfaction (also quality & finance) soared in every setting. That work continues in hospitals that practice Radical Loving Care^® (RLC).

   What is being squandered? Most leaders fail to practice RLC. Instead of nurturing, they threaten. Instead of removing bad leaders they tolerate mediocrity. Instead of loving their work they demean it as just a job.

   Culture determines behavior. Leaders determine culture. Leaders have a massive opportunity to create cultures of loving care. When they waste that they betray the mission of the hospitals where they lead. 

   Please share this. Ask leaders to sit in the ER & ask themselves one question: How can I impact patient care? What if I took better care of caregivers: encouraged & inspired them, made sure they had supportive leaders, had them tell me how they give loving care & thus empower them as teachers. What if I practiced a core element of Radical Loving Care: humility. 

-Erie Chapman  

Days 244-248 - Leaders MUST Have Compassion

   Whether you are running a hospital, a city, a nursing unit or a country you must be able to empathize & have the strength to act on that empathy to solve problems. That is why one of the three great characteristic common to every great leader is compassion. 

   Without it, leaders are deaf to human need. They cannot select good team members or execute an inspiring vision. Without compassion, Lincoln, Reagan, Obama & others would have failed. 

   Forget politics. The current Presidential election is now about our health & well-being in a country divided as it has not been since the Civil War. 

   Yet, too many of my fellow white males dismiss compassion as irrelevant. "What I want is a tough leader," one told me recently. In fact, what America needs right now is a President who is what Martin Luther King called "tough-minded & tender-hearted."

   John Baldoni wrote in last week's Forbes Magazine, "As our nation is riven by the twin viruses of Covid-19 and systemic racism, and the resulting economic fallout, people in need, or people in general, want to know that someone cares."

   Why? A President that genuinely appreciates suffering will not toss paper towels at a crowd of Puerto Ricans hungry for food, water & electricity & then refuse meaningful aid. He will not tolerate immigrant children being caged, will respond immediately to the pandemic instead of calling it "a hoax" & will empathize with both police & those suffering from racist treatment. 

   Baldoni suggests who can best lead America: "Biden feels empathetic because that is who he is. He acts on empathy because he feels he must. And therein lies the leadership lesson. Being and doing are different things."

   Yes. This Presidential election is now about our health. Leaders who lack compassionate are blind to the very human needs we elect them to address.

   That is why we need a President who is a Caregiver-in-Chief as well as a Commander in Chief. Someone who leads with love, not fear. 

 -Erie Chapman

Here is a 3 minute video I made to help you explain this issue to others: https://youtu.be/yeHMj9T1Ivg

 

Days 188-191 - Changing Bitter Harvests To Blessings

   Farmers know that different crops ripen in different season. Fisherman know this idea too.

   What about your harvest in this season? Whatever your age you have endured hardship & plenty, sorrow & joy, disappointment & gratitude. And...?

   Farmers question quantity, quality, salability, what can be stored or shared. Underneath lie hard work & meaning. 

   We ask the same.

   What astounds is the manifold ways that two people with similar riches can celebrate or curse their yields. Rich seventy-year olds complain it is not enough. Others with small fractions of that feel grateful.    

   Frequently, when a career or relationship ends in betrayal the "victim" is traumatized & devalues their life. I have experienced both. What magnified my losses was that the other was so anxious to rush on to their next chapter that they failed to honor their scarred partner. Disrespect wounds Humanity.* 

   Two comments expose hurt, not truth: Demonization of the once-loved job or person or, "I don't care."

   "Victims" feel the frustration of the wronged & the bitterness of the humiliated. Thus, they lose not only job or spouse but, worse, they face a crisis of meaning. The question "All that commitment for nothing?" repeats itself.

   I often struggle to do what I recommend: Find worth in my commitments independently. It hurts to be fired unjustly. It hurts to be divorced & ignored.  It is hard to prioritize my ordination vows above my lawyer's training. 

  Still, I recommend to CEO's: Celebrate the departing. Show caring not indifference.

   Choosing love not fear means reviewing shared history with gratitude.    The same for both parties in broken relationships: Thoroughly honor history with something more than a flippant, "It's over but thanks," or the deadly, "I will always love you" (implying "But not enough to stay with you.") 

   So, instead of blocking memories grieve & celebrate. Thank your lucky stars for how they shined on you for awhile.

   If you can do that magic trick bitter harvests will become food that will bless the rest of your days. 

Erie Chapman

*This story is told searingly in "About Schmidt." After retirement, Jack Nicholson's character walks by a storage area where all his carefully kept files are being discarded. 

Photograph, "Southern Harvest" by erie, 2016

  

Days 169-173 - Meaningful Relationships

These sweet siblings already know their sister & brother relationship is meaningful. And also know very little of the pain that comes when life's relationships deepen. Caroline foreshadowed early awareness when she was 4 & her brother was disrupting her life. She told her dad, "Remember when Reed was in Mommy's tummy & I could not wait until he was born? Now, I can't stand the sight of him." 

Loss is integral to meaning. For 27 years Nurse JoAnn Parker dedicated her life to caregiving. Frequently recognized for her caring heart & flooded with letters of affirmation from patients, co-workers & supervisors she was a model of Radical Loving Care.

Then her supervisor called her in. "JoAnn, we're letting you go. Nothing personal. We've got to cut costs & we're closing your Neuro unit. You'll get severance."  

That was it. 

There is nothing more life-affirming than meaningful relationships & nothing more crushing than their sudden end - especially for the innocent. This is true whether it is a job, a marriage, a dog or other sacred bond. Some people cry over the death of a tree or loss of a painting or destruction of a memory-drenched home. 

Of course, there is no such thing as a meaningful relationship that is pain-free. To think otherwise is fantasy. Still, for those who love the a relationship's death is a killing. 

Healthy relationships turn on love not fear. Pain is endurable if love is present. When fear wins pain becomes an agony that can feel life-threatening.

Is it better to have "loved & lost than never to have loved at all?"  A sufferer may say no. Some never open their hearts again. Others vibrate with the coda of Emily Dickinson's words at the end of "After Great Pain":

This is the Hour of Lead –

Remembered, if outlived,

As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –

First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go 

 

Will Hope rise in Letting-go's wake?

 

The radical thing about Radical Loving Care is that the heart's sensitivity, newly tuned to Joy, becomes exquisitely vulnerable to suffering.

 

What about JoAnn? Her work was her calling. When that vanished so did she & only recently returned.

Will she ever open her heart again? I do not know. Would you?

I sent her the Dickinson that begins:

Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -...

 

Erie Chapman

Days 160-164 - The Only Path to Compassion

   Long ago I shared with an acquaintance the agonies of my Crohn's disease. "I know exactly how you feel," he said, "my brother has that."

   He had no idea "exactly" how I felt. He simply knew about being a brother to a sufferer. But, compassion can be learned. 

   The road to compassion runs through the city of pain. Pain burns unique brands into each of us. We experience agony differently so none of us ever knows another's experience.

   Have you ever experienced the superiority of feeling healthy while another is ill? "I'm well & strong & he's sick & flawed," my acquaintance may have thought.  

   "Pain is the first proper step to real compassion," David Whyte writes. "It can be a foundation for understanding all those who struggle with their existence."

   Compassion can birth deep listening, It can turn your heart to what lies beneath the suffering of another & deter jumping to judgment.

   In a Facebook post, Chris York (left), recent recipient of the CEO of the Year award from Erie Chapman Foundation, showed one reason why he is America's finest healthcare leader.

   "My apologies to [former 49ers quarterback] Colin Kaepernick," Chris wrote, "I was critical of his approach [4 years ago] to protesting police brutality and I was wrong...Today, I can’t help but wonder how much better off we’d be as a country had we listened to his message."

   How much better would hospital care be if we listened?

   Staying open-minded. Humility in recognizing a mistake. The courage to publicly apologize. All characteristics of great leaders (& never demonstrated by our President.) 

   Compassion lives at the core as Radical Loving Caregiving: To honor another's pain by remembering your own. To bravely live love to help another. These mark the pathway to healing. 

   Yes. It is easier to advise then to follow my own counsel. Perhaps that is why I often write this Journal to myself as well as to you.

   Thank you giving love whether or not it is reciprocated. 

-Erie Chapman 

Days 153-157 - Men & Tears

 "Wow. Doc sure is taking this hard," I heard a mourner say at the visitation. "Look at him over there crying his eyes out."

   The doctor's wife & two remaining daughters were crying too. The visitor did not mention them. It was this well-known surgeon's tears that made him uncomfortable. 

   The crying could not have been more justified. On January 11, 1977 Death & diabetes had suddenly stolen Doctor Lokvam's lovely middle daughter, Sonja, at thirty-six. 

   Accustomed to saving lives, the doctor could not comprehend it. "I should have figured out how to save her but she seemed healthy."

   Since that awful night in the brutal winter of 1977 I have thought often of how proud I was of my father-in-law for crying & for his wife who comforted all of us with saintly compassion. 

   We know the rules. Men are not supposed to cry. If one does he better not do it in a way that suggests a wimp. 

   Remember "A League of their Own?" The women's softball team manager (Tom Hanks)notices that his pitcher (Madonna) is crying. "There are no tears in baseball!" he shouts at her." 

   Caregivers often comfort the grieving by saying, "It's good to cry."

   If that is so how come crying by men is tacitly banned? 

   My fellow males & I carry this burden. If you are ever present when a man cries you do not have to say anything. Just hug him one (when we are again allowed to do so.) Otherwise, say, "I am glad you have the strength to shed tears."

   Plagued recently by a bit of depression (anger turned inward) I created an 80 word poem & one minute cinema. (Click the link.)

Tears

Men are terrible at crying.
At least ones like me who

Grew up thinking only women cried.

Tears of laughter are different.
So is crying when you see your baby
Son for the first time.
But sadness? My throat traps those
Tears & holds them, boiling water
Ulcerating my skin.

It does no good to tell men
Like me to cry.
Once I gave way to that,

Ended up in the hospital.
I may land there again.
Soon.

 

-Erie Chapman 2020

Days 132-136 - The Enemies of Presence

E    Last summer, my then 18-month-old grandson looked into the mirror. His father asked, "Who is that?" "Reed," he answered as if he had discovered gold. And my son said to his son, "That's right!"

   Reed had entered a "reality" that governs our lives: That the person in the mirror is us.

   We know there is not just one of us. The self portrait from 1977 has been updated with images of different "me's" at different ages being watched over by a guardian angel. All of those people are within me now accompanied by a crowd of others. 

   The importance of our multiple personas is a fact routinely & tragically overlooked by many caregivers. The doctor or nurse that sees the wrinkled skin of an elderly patient & brands them as old & less relevant misses the complex humanity of the many people that person has been...and is. Loving caregivers give better care because they understand the many lives inside the one before them

   So many personas lurk within: The brilliant you, the angry you. The you who grieves, laughs, lies, plays childlike with a child, treats your dog as a person, speaks rudely to a clerk. 

   And there is the you who wants to escape the present. To run from the fear of being trapped by constantly scanning for the nearest exit.

   This helps when threats are as real as an attacking Grizzly.  But for many running away is a strategy to escape not just headaches or an angry boss but fear of abandonment, loss of hope or simple ennui.

    Fear is the enemy of presence. Fear blocks adventure & discovery, can destroy relationships & defeat meaningful experiences.

   Fear does not just make us run from tigers. If you routinely choose flight it can deaden your life.

   Strangely, one of the most effective ways to deal with most threats is to stand still. Embrace your fear & thus weaken its power over you. 

   The most soul-enriching path is the hardest to choose: To sit with Fear. Watch it. Befriend it as a teacher that will illuminate truth. To listen to it as a guide to the Love we were meant to live.

-Erie Chapman

Days 125-129 From Whom Did You Learn Love?

   Whether we remember her consciously or not we all "know" the first teacher from whom we learned love. I had a great one & consider myself incredibly lucky.

  It was through her that I entered this earth & from this earth that she departed two years ago (May 5, 2018, at age 105) a few days after I made this picture. It is odd that by taking a picture of my own mom I ended up creating what other artists now consider fine art.*

   Mom's exit was as soft as was she, so pleasant that my son said, "Dad, I want to sign up for that kind of death."

   Obviously, I had nothing to do with her longevity (105). But great as were her genes it was her gifts of love that mattered. 

   In the course of teaching Radical Loving Care it is often my father whose words I recall. Like me, he used a lot of them. Not mom. Her love spoke through presence.

   Some see hands as healing pathways. The ancient ones in the photograph, when they were those of a young mom, were rarely used to swat me in the rear.

   Instead, it was those hands that held me to nurse at her breast, those hands that hugged me when I cried & that stroked my face when I was sick. It was those hands that she used to conduct the Rachmaninoff & Beethoven she listened to & those hands that reached out to me in her final days to hold mine & say, "Oh Chip, I hate to see you leave."

   Long as we had her, I hated to see her leave & am grateful for her every moment. 

   Our mom's are our first caregivers. Yet, many great caregivers had bad luck. Moms who were indifferent, unkind or absent. Somehow they found others to teach them Radical Loving Care. 

   This Journal can help you reflect on your teachers, not just with words like, "My mom was great," or "My minister was terrific." But, to write specifics & stories that illustrate them. Through that exercise you may learn things forgotten or never recognized & thus teach love in new & richer ways.

-Erie "Chip" Chapman

*The great photoartist Imogen Cunningham did a similar thing with her famous image "My Father At Ninety." Prints of it are $20,000!

"Final Days," this image of my mom, hung in the Vanderbilt University Art gallery this past year.