Recently, I shared a little about my journey drawing mandalas as a spiritual art form. One of the ways it has helped me is in times of grief. I discovered drwaing as a medium to process my grief as well as an expression of love for the person. This mandala was drawn to honor the life of my Mother in-law, Helen Wessel.
Helen was a devout Catholic and I feel blessed for the years she was in my life. I observed her to be a person who had no concern for material possessions and someone who lived her life in the service of others. Although she was riddled with painful arthritis and required a walker to ambulate, she would bring communion every Sunday to her good friend Renee. Honestly, I think Helen was more disabled than her friend but that did not stop her from doing good for the benefit of others.
Helen had a huge backyard with fruit trees, vegetables, berries and blooming flowers. On w/e’s she and my Father-in-law Wes would be out in the yard tending the garden. My young boys would go over on Sundays to visit, and enjoyed their time in the yard, playing in the dirt and helping plant and harvest. On most Sunday evenings, the family all gathered at the table for a dinner. These times are some of my favorite memories. Even the horseradish grinds to make a supply of horseradish to last the season.
Helen was a huge help to us as she came over after school to watch the kids as I worked full time and my husband was busy with his small dental lab. The kids truly enjoyed being lavished with the attention they received and she would help them with their homework.
It wasn’t until after Helen passed that I truly realized who she was in my life. She was the embodiment of Christ in my life. She did not live for herself but for others. The mandala I drew represennt the trinityand has the rosary in it as Helen liked to pray. I too have found the rosary a comfort and a meditative process that I return to from time to time.
And this practice weaves and connects me to the other very special Mother’s in my life. My grandmother Kate Carter from County Kilkenny Ireland and she came by herself to New York at age 17. What an adventurous soul and a beautiful person. I have fond remembrances of visiting her on Sundays after church and was only greeted with love and kindness. She died when I was 13 and I treasure her memory now more that ever and especially since visiting her homestead and meeting all my relatives in 2011. The land of 10,000 welcomes!
My mom was the best and she influenced my life in countless ways through her kind and gentle ways, strength and perseverance and her hard working life raising a family of six and her enjoyment of life and valuing of friendships. Hers was the art of letter writing which she continued well into her 90's. When I was 10, I was hospitalized with meningitis and my mom was by my side day and night. I was critically ill and it was uncertain if I would make it. I remember her saying to me, “I wish I could change places with you” and how she was there for me offering comfort in such a scary and painful time. Not realizing it until years later, she inspired my calling to work with people with serious illness and at end of life. She taught me the unspoken covenant that is forged between caregivers and people at end of life, with patients, loved ones, friends and family, that communicates beyond words, “I will not abandon you.”
The last person who was as a mother to me is my best friend’s mom, Candi Maio. Growing up she was such an affirming person in my life always seeing the good in me and calling it out. She would light up a room with her presence and this lovely gift of an exhuberance for life is carried on through her daughter Susan.
What all of these women had in common was their warm hospitality, love of people, of life and a faith in God and in the goodness of people.
Liz Sorensen Wessel
