"The day my mother died, I wrote in my journal, "A serious misfortune of my life has arrived." I suffered for more than one year after the passing away of my mother. But one night, in the highlands of Vietnam, I was sleeping in the hut in my hermitage. I dreamed of my mother. I saw myself sitting with her, and we were having a wonderful talk. She looked young and beautiful, her hair flowing down. It was so pleasant to sit there and talk to her as if she had never died.
When I woke up, it was about two in the morning, and I felt very strongly that I had never lost my mother. The impression that my mother was still with me was very clear. I understood then that the idea of having lost my mother was just an idea. It was obvious in that moment that my mother is always alive in me. I opened the door and went outside. The entire hillside was bathed in moonlight. It was a hill covered with tea plants, and my hut was set behind the temple halfway up. Walking slowly in the moonlight through the rows of tea plants, I noticed my mother was still with me. She was the moonlight caressing me as she had done so often, very tender, very sweet... wonderful!
Each time my feet touched the earth I knew my mother was there with me. I knew this body was not mine but a living continuation of my mother and my father and my grandparents and great-grandparents. Of all my ancestors. Those feet that I saw as "my" feet were actually "our" feet. Together my mother and I were leaving footprints in the damp soil. From that moment on, the idea that I had lost my mother no longer existed. All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me, available at any time."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
This is such a beautiful reflection by Thich Nat Hahn, one that offers wisdom and comfort. We are more that our physicality, we are spiritual beings. What a blessing of healing and a gift of enduring love to receive this visit from his mom. A turning point in his grief process.
I have spoken to friends who have experienced very vivid and intensely beautiful dreams of a beloved visiting them in a dream state. I recall my mom sharing how her mom visited her and it was so real she was uncertain if it occurred in her sleep or if she really saw her mom’s apparition in an awake state as she called out to her ever so tenderly, “Oh mama.”
After my brother John had died my cousin Charlie received a visit from him in a dream. In it, Johnny was able to fly and was enthusiastically giving Charlie a tour of the in-patient hospice. The room where he had been cared for and all around the facility. His message was a reassuring one letting Charlie (and indirectly our family) know that he was joyful and in a good place.
I recall listening to a podcast once in which James Finnley shared that after his wife died, he was deeply grieved until one day he realized that their love was still vibrant and alive. He discovered that he could share in conversation with her and in this way their relationship endured beyond the physical realm. What a beautiful thought to contemplate or as Thich Nhat Hanh, expressed, “All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me, available at any time."
Liz Sorensen Wessel
Artwork by ~liz
