A few months after wonderful Rhonda Swanson became Executive Assistant to me as President & CEO of Baptist Hospital System she asked a challenging question: "I love working for you because you are a strong, inspiring & kind-hearted leader." Then she hesitated.
"What is it?" I asked, bracing for a complaint. However, Rhonda's tone was inquiring not accusatory.
"You are so good at teaching loving care why do you sometimes get so impatient?"
It was & is a great question. I have spent a lifetime trying to figure out & solve this problem.
Consider an ancient myth whose star's name occupies everyday language. Most talk of having an "Achilles' Heel" without knowing the origin. Learning it aids understanding of Radical Loving Care®.
When a baby, Achilles mother (Thetis) went to bathe him in the River Styx whose waters gave lifelong immunity. As she lowered him toward the rushing current she realized she must hold onto a part of him. She picked his heel.
Ten years into the Trojan War, hero Achilles got cocky about his invincibility. When Paris, discovered his enemy's vulnerable spot he shot an arrow into it killing Achilles.
Irritability signals my Achilles Heel: unintentional but occasional Arrogance. Admitting it is the first step & I do. Oddly, I mess up the second step & turn shame on myself ! Self-loathing never heals.
The better choice is continuous cultivation of Arrogance's enemy. Humility nurtures Understanding.
The larger teaching of Radical Loving Care is the gift of Benefit of a Doubt. Why do we withhold that from others? It steals from us the fake comfort of self-righteousness & blocks us from offering Love's powerful gift: Forgiveness.
Saints had weaknesses. Why do we think we, our friends, or even our enemies would not?
We seek the benefit of a doubt. Are we giving it?
-Erie Chapman
Image: Thetis Dipping the Infant Achilles into the River Styx by Peter Paul Rubens (c. 1625; Museum Boijmans Van Beuningen)
