A half century ago, during an attack of the Crohn's I had endured for longer than that, a surgeon informed me, "I'm going to operate."
"You're not," I said, correctly predicting that I would recover without surgery.
"Well," he said disgustedly, "It's your body."
Of course, it is my body. It still has never been operated on.
Last week I described my sister's traumatic hospitalization. When she had to be readmitted I watched the healthcare system once again take over her life. Yet her decision-making integrity remained.
It is fine for professionals to identify people as "my patient." Why are some surprised when the patient makes decisions? Did they forget that not all the patient's choices are the doctor's?
Leadership struggles with this. CEO's talk about "My Vice President, my Chief Nursing Officer, my nurses." The hospital employs them to work for patients.
This practice got dangerous when our prior President began describing the U.S. Attorney General as "My Attorney General." Many thought he treated his appointee as his personal attorney. Several cabinet members had to remind the President that their allegiance was to America, not him.
Power figures use ownership words to control others. Those who yield unthinkingly compromise their autonomy & integrity.
Ownership language replaces humility with arrogance.
Does it extend to parenting? In 8th grade I read a Gibran poem that reads in part:
"Your children are not your children
They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself
They come through you but not from you
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you
You may give them your love but not your thoughts
For they have their own thoughts
You may house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow
...
You may strive to be like them
But seek not to make them like you."
Yes, I call my son & daughter "mine." I am grateful for both & know that I do not own them.
-Erie Chapman
Lobby - The Toledo Hospital
