The woman pictured is my hero. Her smile says who she is but not what she has been through. Born three years after me Martha's life delivered profound questions.
By fourteen I was six feet one. Why was my sister two feet shorter?
None of us chooses to be born, much less who our parents will be. Why did life deliver a typically developing body to my older sister, our youngest sibling & me but not to Martha?
Why has she always been cheerful while I sometimes struggle with depression? How did she bring so much joy to thousands at The Toledo Hospital when her caregiver job was Information Desk clerk, not doctoring, nursing or leading?
Starting early, Martha faced endless insults. My childhood fistfights were to defend her. She is a reason I exchanged words for punches & became a trial lawyer.
Nevertheless, the tormented suffer alone.
Everyone loves Martha. That love poured forth when she hit a hard chapter. At seventy-five, walking & balance became unbearable. She confronted what many with Achondroplastic dwarfism face: spinal stenosis that compresses nerves & threatens mobility.
On April 22, Martha endured major back surgery. Her condition made the process harrowing.
The surgery lasted an hour longer, the neurosurgeon drilled into her spine & nicked it (a relatively common risk) triggering a spinal fluid leak & the awful sequelae of excruciating headaches.
Meanwhile, after decades of preaching Radical Loving Care® but untrained at one on one physical care my bluff was called. At her request, I flew to Toledo to join her & stayed with her 24/7 including three nights in the hospital sleeping in a chair & three days at her home. Then my sister, Ann, took the baton.
Gladly, Martha has a spectacular platoon of friends. Some bring food, some drive, others care for her dog, all, including her wonderful minister, pray with her & one couple includes an occupational therapist & her husband who are redesigning her home to accommodate her new restrictions.
Anyone who seeks empathy with professional caregivers must live through several shifts with them. Regardless, leaders must care for caregivers. Shockingly, none of the fifteen or twenty staff that worked with my sister knew of, or had seen, the hospital CEO!
The rest of Martha's story proves that every leader must offer competent & compassionate presence or be removed.
Happily, our family's support for Martha shows in a line our dad often repeated: "Martha, you are ten feet tall."
And so she is to everyone who looks past her height & sees the depth of her gorgeous heart.
-Erie Chapman
Photos: Martha, home & hospital by Erie
