Journal of Sacred Work

Days 299-300 There Is A Season

“Tears are prayers too. They travel to God when we cannot speak.” Unknown

Autumn days of golden hues, honey dripped leaves burnt orange and blazing red, culminating in her magnificent essence. You watch as her leaves feather softly to earth, experience the exquisite beauty and heartache of loss, revel in the hopefulness of new life.

Nature transmits her wisdom in stillness. You attentively gaze, walk amid the crunch of leaves underfoot, feel the coolness pinking your cheeks, breathe deeply the clean scent of pine. A flock of geese honk announcing their passing as you raise your eyes in wonderment. In the quiet hush, she instills her wisdom and you remember with gratitude…

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

~Pete Seiger, "The Birds" Turn, Turn, Turn (To Everything)

November is a time of remembering in the Christian tradition we celebrate All Saints Day, we pause to honor our loved ones on All Souls Day, and Día de los Muertos (the day of the dead) is celebrated widely celebrated in Mexican communities. These ritual days of remembering can stir our sorrow and aid in our healing.

Tara Brach offers this, “How we relate to change and loss is directly connected to how fully we live and love. When we avoid opening to the realness of loss, and sorrow, and don’t process our grief, it prevents us from evolving into wholeness. Especially in our fast-paced society the experience of loss and full grieving is often pushed away. This resistance can lead to a limited sense of self, of feeling separate, isolated, and alone.  Yet, how we open to embrace our sorrows and grief can become a portal to awakening our heart and spirit.”

Often, we find our anchor in solitude first, connecting with our heart, recognizing our emotions, and centering ourselves before we can reach out to others.​ Our pain is a shared pain. Whether or not you are experiencing a current loss, or a loss in the past, or maybe you have not ever lost someone close to you but we all will experience loss at different times throughout life and it helps to know that this is our shared humanity.

Compassion changes everything.

Compassion heals.

Compassion mends the broken and restores what has been lost.

Compassion draws together those who have been estranged

or never even dreamed they were connected.

Compassion pulls us out of ourselves and

into the heart of another,

placing us on holy ground where we

instinctively take off our shoes and walk in reverence.

Compassion springs out of vulnerability and triumphs in unity. 

                                     -Judy Cannato, “Field of Compassion”

And in the most difficult times Wendall Berry offers comfort, " Love is what carries you, for it is always there, even in the dark, or most in the dark, but shining out at times like gold stitches in a piece of embroidery."

 This is reflected in Doris Klein's discernment as well, “We stand, clothed in grace, and showered with blessing. At times we see the flecks of light; at other times we see only the shadows of the silhouette. But always, both in our knowing and in our unknowing, we are escorted into tomorrow by Love, who gives us everything we need.” 

Love is what carries you...

Today, I invite you to think about the people who bring joy, enrichment and meaning to your life and express your love and gratitude.

I dedicate this reflection as a blessing of gratitude to Erie Chapman on the eve of his miraculous birth day. Erie, I am so grateful to you for the gift of your enduring friendship, and for the way you carry us in spirit and love... 

Liz Sorensen Wessel
Watercolor by ~liz

Days 294-298 - Part III - Riverside Murderers Caught, Hostage Crisis & Healing Hospital Born

   Birth & death are everyday occurrences in a large hospital. Homicide, of course, is not.

   Large medical centers are multi-billion dollar businesses. But non-profit hospitals serve people, not pocketbook. What matters is high competence, deep compassion & mission amid madness. 

   The dramatic tragedy of the December 30, 1983 murders of Patricia Matix & Joyce McFadden (see Part II) tested the fabric of a giant hospital & all of its staff. It tore into the hearts of their families, friends & co-workers. 

   The learnings from nightmares can be profound. They reinforce the finest line I ever read on leadership. "We must always be, simultaneously, tough-minded & tender-hearted" Martin Luther King said long ago. 

   Tough-mindedness meant staying calm & competent. "Tender-hearted" called for compassion. With each audience a leader-caregiver faces the simultaneity of tough & tender is crucial. 

   Following the tragedies three goals were crucial: Guiding the hospital, supporting the family & reassuring the public.  One goal was not our responsibility. It was up to the police to catch the murders. Yes. There were two. One obvious & one obscured. 

   Tough & tender were the principles. Facing blinding television lights from news cameras my message to the public emphasized how profoundly heartbroken we were at the loss of two fellow caregivers. I followed that with a message that stretched the truth as I knew it.

   "These terrible murders were confined to our research laboratory. Thus, the hospital is running smoothly & care is proceeding normally. The rest of this is a police matter." I introduced Captain Antone Lanata, the officer in charge†.

   The public, including patients & caregivers, had now been reassured by facts & by the tone used by police & hospital leadership. 

   Before the press conference, the same message had been given to all staff including over 700 patients & their visitors, 60 patients in the ER, & hundreds more doctors, nurses & other caregivers. 

   In fact, in a great tribute to staff, the hospital ran smoothly. It is also true that on that night we were not sure yet that the murders had been limited to the lab. Were the killers still on the loose inside?

   Absent awareness of a motive how did we know they were not roaming the hospital seeking other victims? We did not. We made our best judgment. It turned out to be right.  

   When I entered the office where the McFadden family was sequestered I found a tearful husband & family grateful for my assurance amid their shock. The room for the Matix family held one person, husband Bill Matix. Instead of grief, I was met with outrage. 

  "How could you let this happen?" he shouted. "My wife came to your hospital for work, not to be murdered. You're President. This is your fault," he continued. 

   No assurances mattered. It turned out it was money that counted: How much he would make for his wife's death? 

   The hospital not only returned to normal but from the patient's standpoint professionalism continued. 

Sequel

  Although the stunning sequel regarding the murderers is beyond the hospital world, you may wonder about the shocking aftermath. [See production still from "FBI Murders,"† above, & further story below.*]

  Inside the hospital, this incident exposed leadership weaknesses & strengths. One of our top leaders panicked at the news. "What are we going to do?" he said to me in a stricken voice, hands on his head. Suddenly useless as a leader, I confined him to his office. When I looked around for another top team member I was told he had gone home saying, "This was not his area of responsibility."

   On the bright side, legal counsel Frank Pandora was a pillar of strength amid crisis. The same was true of PR director, the late Marilyn Marr. Although a friend of Joyce McFadden she was strong throughout.

   Overall, I began to rethink my team & subsequently selected a group of champions including Mark Evans, Jeff Kaplan, Tracy Wimberly, Steve Garlock, Nancy Schlichting & others who will be referenced in future chapters. With this group & others we planted the seeds for a new healing medical center that became one of top ten hospitals in America. 

   But first, six months after the murder, I got another one of those terrible calls. A prisoner under care in a clinic below my office had gotten the guard's gun & taken hostages! 

Coming Next: Part IV - Hostage Crisis & New Initiatives 

-Erie Chapman

*Over the next 3 years these killers launched a savage rampage of robberies & homicides.  On April 11, 1986, the criminals were gunned down in "the bloodiest shootout in FBI history," subsequently an NBC movie: "In the Line of Duty: The FBI Murders." (1988)

  Here is the shocker. Although technically listed "unsolved," it is beyond a reasonable doubt that the murderers were none other than Bill Matix himself  & his buddy, Michael Platt! Matix, the very man that had accused me of responsibility for his wife's death, had gotten his friend Michael to kill Pat. Matix collected $350,000 for his wife's death.

   In a twist reminiscent of Hitchcock's "Strangers on a Train," the two men had made a "criss cross" deal to kill each other's wives. After that, they took the insurance money & launched their robbery & killing spree.

   Almost exactly one year after the Riverside murders, Platt's wife was killed by a 12 gauge shotgun in her mouth on Christmas Eve, 1984. Surprisingly, Mississippi police labeled it a suicide. Clearly, Platt & Matix were the killers. 

  †How were the Columbus police thrown off? Captain Lanata had confided to me that they had found a bloody footprint at the crime scene that fit a size 9 men's shoe** They quickly narrowed their suspect list to men with that shoe size. Matix wore size 11. It was Platt, not on their radar, who wore size 9.  

   After the shootout in 1986 AP news reported that Captain Lanata said, ″I probably should be charged with incompetence if we didn’t take a hard look at Mr. Platt, to see if he was ever in Ohio, whether there is anything to connect him with our homicide,″ Lanata said.

[**Fortunately, I wear a size 10 shoe because I later learned that because Dr. Bope & I had been among the first on the murder scene we were briefly listed as suspects! ] 

††NBC Production Still use via educational exception

Days 292 & 293 Your Life Mission Part II - by Dr. Terry Chapman

[NOTE: Last week's widely-read stories of Riverside Methodist Hospital's travels from tragedies to triumphs will continue with Part III on Monday.]

 

Your Life Mission Part II - by Dr. Terry Chapman

 

So you have identified a unique skill or attribute of yours better known as a God given Gift. You work for a city government as an accountant but how use this as your mission or lay ministry?

 

Could this financial ability be used in your caregiver role with your aging parents? Could you improve their quality of life by helping them better budget their fixed income? Or could you help your community social agencies as a board member?

 

And what if your gift is merely making people feel comfortable in your home?

Why not offer your home to host political meetings, religious events, or family reunions? Only few have this important ability!

 

Ok, you are good at cooking and organizing. Why not offer these gifts to your church's members at holidays whenever potlucks are scheduled? They will appreciate your skills!

 

Always remember that every person is gifted. Balance your paid work with volunteer missions to help others while enriching your life at the same time!

 

Terry Chapman, PhD

Days 289-291 - Riverside, 1983: Days of Success, Suicide & Murder, Part II

Your first day of school, Your last day of work. Your birth date. The day your mother died.

Many dates are paintings in the museum of my heart. Some I stand & enjoy. Others I wish I had never seen & cannot avoid.

Each time we truly look the same paintings are different because we are different. 

July 1, 1983 my first day as CEO of Ohio's largest hospital, Riverside Methodist, is the date of a painting I love. I felt like a comet racing across the sky unaware that the universe will set it on fire.

This morning, I realized that on July 1, 2022 I will be twice the 39 years I was then. All the days between taught me to celebrate successful moments as ways to survive defeats that are sure to accompany those who work in courtrooms & hospitals.

Just three weeks later, while waiting to meet Don Ayers, President of Columbus' second largest hospital, Grant Medical Center, I heard a terrible thud outside the window of the first floor Administration office. A suicidal patient had broken an 8th floor window & jumped to his death. This tragedy should not have happened. The weight of responsibility rose. 

When Ayers arrived he said, "I hope this is not a bad omen." 

It was.

For him in terrible ways*. For Riverside in others. 

Six Months Later

At 4:30 p.m. on December 30, 1983 fellow employees Patricia Mattix & Joyce McFadden were finishing their day's work in a research lab fifty feet from where I sat. Holiday decorations & music lingered. 

Minutes after Joyce left for a break an intruder forced Pat to lie face down on the linoleum floor. Her hands & feet were tied behind their back. Stabbed multiple times, she died quickly. Her body was stuffed into the lab's freezer.

At 5:00 p.m. Dr. Ed Bope, Family Practice Director, entered my office. "Erie, one of our employees has been murdered," he said, his face pale. 

"Are you sure she's dead?" I asked. 

"You don't need to be a doctor to tell she's dead," he continued. "Come with me."

Telling my assistant, Elaine Jenkins, to call security I made the short walk to the lab with Dr. Bope.

In the seven years before entering hospital leadership in Toledo I served as a trial attorney & federal prosecutor. I had been trained to deal with crimes & criminals. Neither I nor the hospital had been prepared  to deal with this murder scene. 

Lying on the floor of the lab lay a blood-drained body. It was not Pat.

Fate had returned Joyce from her break too soon. She had come face to face with Pat's murderer. He tied up Joyce, stabbed her fourteen times & left her to die in a pool of her own blood. 

A bloodless body looks more mannequin than human, making the truth even more surreal. 

Compared to today's headlines of workplace violence, hospital-based murders were rare in 1983. We had plans for every kind of emergency except something like this.

More unimaginable tragedy lay ahead.

As if following a crazy calendar with six month disaster cycles, in the summer of 1984 a prisoner being treated in Riverside's basement lab stole his guard's gun & took hostages.

How do you lead a hospital amid such nightmares?

In "Self Portrait," David Whyte challenges himself & us:

....I want to know
if you are willing
to live, day by day, with the consequence of love
and the bitter
unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

Coming next. Part III: The Riverside Curse? The Team that Turned Tragedy Into Triumph 

-Erie Chapman

For more on the murders & their sequelae consult my book, Radical Loving Care. 

*After I became founding President of U..S Health Corp. (OhioHealth) we acquired Grand Medical Center & Don Ayers was displaced. In 2008 he & his second wife were convicted of multiple counts of fraud. He was sentenced to 15 years & was not scheduled for parole until this year. 

Days 287-289 "The Fierce Heat of Living" Part I

    On the evening of June 30, 1983, I sat alone atop a hill overlooking a magical setting. Below me, Ohio's largest hospital held in its embrace every kind of drama.

   Today, October 17, 2021, I re-read lines from David Whyte's poem, "Self Portrait" including these:

...I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing.

   In the next twenty-four hours in that complex of buildings fifteen babies would cry their way into "the fierce heat of living." Other tears would attend three who would leave life.

   Hundreds of thousands depended on the competence & compassion of seven thousand caregivers including over a thousand doctors. 

   Among the eight hundred patients occupying 1000-bed Riverside Methodist Hospital would be some that, on this day, would hear harsh news about the cancer or heart disease that was stealing their lives. Others would experience the profound joy of childbirth or news of impending recovery.  

   All of this in a place where I was still a stranger. The next morning, I would, at thirty-nine, enter the hospital as its new President & CEO. Winning this opportunity had been "the center of my longing" for nearly a year. 

   Barely able to contain my joy, my mind raced with plans. My heart was flooded with dreams for what I might do to guide this place to greatness. 

   Obviously, no hospital is the story of one person. So this essay is simply one person's take on the life of a massive & beautiful organization as it was starting in 1983. 

   In the dusk, the lit windows of Riverside took on definition. Behind every one was a story, an opportunity, a tragedy, a blessing. 

   At thirty-nine, the future was my friend. The incredible triumphs & startling tragedies (including murders, suicides & a hostage taking) of the next year alone were beyond anyone's imagining. 

 -Erie Chapman

Later, this week, Part II 

Photo by David Lucas, 1991

Days 285-286 Living In The Shadow of Death

Nature has so much to teach us about life. The changing of the seasons, the turning of leaves, shorter days and longer nights. Autumn especially reminds us of life's ever-changing movements. The ebb and flow and the beautiful continuity of the cycle of living and dying, hope and renewal, and suffering amidst joy. 

Living in the shadow of death reminds us of the impermanence of life on this earthly realm. The blessing in this reality is that we discover a new reverence for the love that colors our lives in Beauty.   

When someone dies, our perception shifts, at least for a time, and we awaken to what really matters.  Humbled, we remember who we are in Love’s embrace.

I offer the following as prayer.

“And who does not want to be treated with Love?” Mary Southard CSJ

Help me remember today that I am holy; that I have been called to be a vessel of grace.  Let me spend my time and energy as a holy person would, whether in great deeds or humble drudgery.  Let every act and every encounter be sacred, ever moment be a flowing of good gifts.  May light be born in me.   

-Steve Garnaas-holmes     

 

Blessed are you
in whom
the light lives,
in whom
the brightness blazes—
your heart
a chapel,
an altar where
in the deepest night
can be seen
the fire that
shines forth in you
in unaccountable faith,
in stubborn hope,
in love that illumines
every broken thing
it finds.

Except form poem by Jan Richardson

 

May you come to see your life as a quiet sacrament of service,

which awakens around you a rhythm where doubt gives way to the grace of wonder,

where what is awkward and strained can find elegance

and where crippled hope can find wings, and torment enter at last unto the grace of serenity.

May Divine Beauty bless you.

John O’ Donohue, excerpt from Beauty -The Invisible Embrace

 

 Liz Sorensen Wessel
Artwork by ~liz

 

 

Day 284 - All of Autumn in One Picture

Of course, you will only see "all" of autumn if you look carefully at this snapshot taken by my dear daughter-in-law. Her goal was to catch her son (my grandson) in the foreground. 

In the process, Jen recorded as good an image of autumn as I have seen this year. The children are fearless about the moribund season & know how to embrace its dead leaves as toys, as a way to dance, as a pathway to laughter & unbridled joy. 

Some things I saw: There is only one girl in the crowd. So what? The boy at left with leaves falling on each side of his head. The camera has caught the little guy at the far side of the circle surrounded by flying leaves as if sent into the air for the sole purpose of framing him & his expression. 

Then, my youngest grandson. At four he looks as though he has created the leaf storm all by himself. He has the energy to do that & the sense to know that it is more fun to engage friends to turn a leaf pile into a tornado.

Weighed down by the woes of caregiving? Take another glance at this image & take solace that joy lives. 

-Erie Chapman  

Photo by Jennifer Halloran Chapman

Days 281-282 On The Other Side of The Window

 

"I've decided to quit believing in death..."

people will deny

anything these days

so, I have decided to join

the practice of dismissing things

that we’ve been told are true

I have decided to quit believing in death

~ it just doesn't exist for me anymore

I have a new theory

I’m working on~

when our dear ones

depart their bodies and

turn back into air and light

they don't disappear

behind a brick wall

that separates us

~there are no bricks

there is no wall

~there are no barriers

there is only a grand

window between us

and those whom we

have stitched ourselves

to with the most divine

of angel hair threads

we can see our beloveds in

the heart shape clouds

and they can see us

as we kiss their picture

goodnight ever so softly

death doesn't exist

it's a debunked

flat-earth theology

where we are told that

the people we love spill off the

edge of the world and

fall away from us into

the endless unknown

that's not my experience

what I have seen is that when

a dear one leaves me I don't

feel the space grow between us

I feel us grow closer together

~ our entanglement becomes tighter

they travel with me to the

store to buy garlic

they brush my hair out of my eyes while

I cry in my car in an empty parking lot

they join me on my daily

walk around a lake

they sit on the board of my conscious

and offer me advice

they float above me while

I write a poem

they laugh when I trip over the same

chair damn every day

they catch my prayers and

courier them to God

they write love notes to me with steam

on my bathroom mirror

they play the right songs on the radio

at just the right time

they have made a cottage

in my heart

they have turned my eyes

into miracle telescopes

they converted my lungs

into a retreat center

they dance in the eyes

of my children

my loved ones haven't gone anywhere

and neither have yours

they are just on the other side of the window

waiting for you to see them

waving at you

in their sundresses made out of stars

and their tuxedos stitched by time

and someday I will be on the

other side of the glass

acting so obnoxious that you

won't be able to ignore me

and someday I will be writing

you love notes on the petals

of sunflowers for you to find

just when you need to read them

and someday I will help paint a

sunset in the exact color of the

way I felt whenever I was wrapped

up tightly in your arms

I'm not scientist but

my research tells me that

death doesn't exist

however, love does

and it has no end

and neither do we

~ John Roedel

Shared by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Photo by Michele Rudenko shared with permission

Days 276-280: "Kiss Slowly" - Mark Twain's 6 Rules

Mark Twain wrote hundreds of worthy quotes because his wit & genius were synonymous.

“Life is short" prefaces what I offer as Twain's six maxims: "1) Break the rules. 2) Forgive Quickly. 3) Kiss slowly. 4) Love truly. 5) Laugh uncontrollably and 6) never regret anything that makes you smile." 

Did he miss anything? Should he have advised that life is long so we have plenty of time to waste?

"Breaking rules" rattles nursing managers but Radical Loving Care^® often requires that. He could have written, "Follow the rules." But, rules already say that, right?

Maybe he could have advised revenge is sweet so never forgive. Instead, when Twain's writes "forgive quickly" he does not mean that cheap "I'm sorry" we hear from the craven hearted. It calls for the sincere & rapid response of people who instantly recognize they have wronged another & want to ignite healing immediately. 

What about "Kiss slowly?" If you have experienced this it needs no explanation but further explication. 

The mutuality of a first slow kiss places two beings on the threshold of life's most meaningful relationships.

Loving fathers (here, my son kissing his son) lean into the scent of their infant's hair & kiss slowly. When that child is grown they offer the hardest of long kisses: "Goodbyes."

In earlier centuries dear friends kissed each other slowly. Today, when intimacy may cause anxiety, the long hug seems "safer."

Lovers save their slowest kisses for each other. They understand the deepening feelings that arrive beyond the first seconds. The first slow kiss can be like the first fixed gaze, a gateway too hearts falling open to bonding. 

"Love truly" is the natural companion of kissing slowly. Quick kisses can be a nice habit or hold a chill. A "have-a-nice-day-honey" familiarity or the "you-don't-matter-that-much" dismissiveness of lovers turned cautious friends. Thus, a counterfeit peck on the cheek becomes the currency of rich feelings gone bankrupt. 

Loving truly requires vulnerability which is why I believe Twain follows that counsel with his delightful two-part coda: "Laugh uncontrollably" &, "never regret anything that makes you smile."

Twain's wit alway reaches deeper than slapstick.  His genius enabled this dazzling vivification of Rule 2: "Forgiveness is the scent the violet leaves on the heel that crushed it." 

Such words create smiles edged with tears. 

-Erie Chapman

Photograph: "Tyler Kissing Miles' Head" by Tia Chapman, 2005

Days 274-275 In Waterfalls of Tenderness

Father, Mother, God,

Thank you for your presence

during the hard and mean days.

For then we have you to lean upon.

Thank you for your presence

during the bright and sunny days,

for then we can share that which we have

with those who have less.

And thank you for your presence

during the Holy Days, for then we are able

to celebrate you and our families

and our friends.

For those who have no voice,

we ask you to speak.

For those who feel unworthy,

we ask you to pour your love out

in waterfalls of tenderness.

For those who live in pain,

we ask you to bathe them

in the river of your healing.

For those who are lonely, we ask

you to keep them company.

For those who are depressed,

we ask you to shower upon them

the light of hope.

Dear Creator, You, the borderless

sea of substance, we ask you to give to all the

world that which we need most—Peace.

~ Maya Angelou

 

Offered by Liz Sorensen Wessel
Artwork by ~liz