Mark Twain wrote hundreds of worthy quotes because his wit & genius were synonymous.
“Life is short" prefaces what I offer as Twain's six maxims: "1) Break the rules. 2) Forgive Quickly. 3) Kiss slowly. 4) Love truly. 5) Laugh uncontrollably and 6) never regret anything that makes you smile."
Did he miss anything? Should he have advised that life is long so we have plenty of time to waste?
"Breaking rules" rattles nursing managers but Radical Loving Care® often requires that. He could have written, "Follow the rules." But, rules already say that, right?
Maybe he could have advised revenge is sweet so never forgive. Instead, when Twain's writes "forgive quickly" he does not mean that cheap "I'm sorry" we hear from the craven hearted. It calls for the sincere & rapid response of people who instantly recognize they have wronged another & want to ignite healing immediately.
What about "Kiss slowly?" If you have experienced this it needs no explanation but further explication.
The mutuality of a first slow kiss places two beings on the threshold of life's most meaningful relationships.
Loving fathers (here, my son kissing his son) lean into the scent of their infant's hair & kiss slowly. When that child is grown they offer the hardest of long kisses: "Goodbyes."
In earlier centuries dear friends kissed each other slowly. Today, when intimacy may cause anxiety, the long hug seems "safer."
Lovers save their slowest kisses for each other. They understand the deepening feelings that arrive beyond the first seconds. The first slow kiss can be like the first fixed gaze, a gateway too hearts falling open to bonding.
"Love truly" is the natural companion of kissing slowly. Quick kisses can be a nice habit or hold a chill. A "have-a-nice-day-honey" familiarity or the "you-don't-matter-that-much" dismissiveness of lovers turned cautious friends. Thus, a counterfeit peck on the cheek becomes the currency of rich feelings gone bankrupt.
Loving truly requires vulnerability which is why I believe Twain follows that counsel with his delightful two-part coda: "Laugh uncontrollably" &, "never regret anything that makes you smile."
Twain's wit alway reaches deeper than slapstick. His genius enabled this dazzling vivification of Rule 2: "Forgiveness is the scent the violet leaves on the heel that crushed it."
Such words create smiles edged with tears.
-Erie Chapman
Photograph: "Tyler Kissing Miles' Head" by Tia Chapman, 2005
