Journal of Sacred Work

Days 244-248 - Leaders MUST Have Compassion

   Whether you are running a hospital, a city, a nursing unit or a country you must be able to empathize & have the strength to act on that empathy to solve problems. That is why one of the three great characteristic common to every great leader is compassion. 

   Without it, leaders are deaf to human need. They cannot select good team members or execute an inspiring vision. Without compassion, Lincoln, Reagan, Obama & others would have failed. 

   Forget politics. The current Presidential election is now about our health & well-being in a country divided as it has not been since the Civil War. 

   Yet, too many of my fellow white males dismiss compassion as irrelevant. "What I want is a tough leader," one told me recently. In fact, what America needs right now is a President who is what Martin Luther King called "tough-minded & tender-hearted."

   John Baldoni wrote in last week's Forbes Magazine, "As our nation is riven by the twin viruses of Covid-19 and systemic racism, and the resulting economic fallout, people in need, or people in general, want to know that someone cares."

   Why? A President that genuinely appreciates suffering will not toss paper towels at a crowd of Puerto Ricans hungry for food, water & electricity & then refuse meaningful aid. He will not tolerate immigrant children being caged, will respond immediately to the pandemic instead of calling it "a hoax" & will empathize with both police & those suffering from racist treatment. 

   Baldoni suggests who can best lead America: "Biden feels empathetic because that is who he is. He acts on empathy because he feels he must. And therein lies the leadership lesson. Being and doing are different things."

   Yes. This Presidential election is now about our health. Leaders who lack compassionate are blind to the very human needs we elect them to address.

   That is why we need a President who is a Caregiver-in-Chief as well as a Commander in Chief. Someone who leads with love, not fear. 

 -Erie Chapman

Here is a 3 minute video I made to help you explain this issue to others: https://youtu.be/yeHMj9T1Ivg

 

Days 242-243 A Little Kindness

When I reflect on what I would like to share with you, I recognize the importance of acknowledging some of the strain and difficulties that so many people are experiencing, as well as all of creation. There is so much suffering in this world. As we give witness to the strife, the polarities in perception between right and wrong, love and fear, what’s mine or yours to bear, we confront the best and worst in ourselves. The progressive reoccurring disasters and accompanying devastation globally is at a critical tipping point. Mother Earth is strained beyond capacity as she struggles to retain her grace and equilibrium. She is calling, calling out to us with an anguished plea to awaken. Will we heed the call?

As these troubling thoughts swirl in upon me, the soothing voice of Paul McCarty visits my thoughts, offering instead a sense of calm peacefulness;

“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me/Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”

“For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see / There will be an answer, let it be / And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me / Shine until tomorrow, let it be…”

“I wake up to the sound of music / Mother Mary comes to me / Speaking words of wisdom, let it be / Whisper words of wisdom, let it be… “

As I sit here in the quiet hush of morning, the neighborhood rooster heralds day breaks arrival, the sun shines blessings, wind chimes stir softly, a mama bird busily flits back and forth bringing nourishment to her nestled fledglings. All messengers of life’s ability to hold what is here and to begin anew with unceasing hopefulness in a field of boundless love.

The vast complexities of this world and our lack of control can feel overwhelming, yet there is one thing we can offer in this moment; kindness.  Perhaps a thought, a prayer, a smile, a gesture of thoughtfulness, an unconditional act of kindness for someone, or even for ourselves.  A spiritual principle shares this wisdom, “there is no order of difficulty in miracles. One is not harder or bigger than another. They are all the same. All expressions of love are maximal” (A course in Miracles).

Even the smallest act of kindness is maximal. Notice how kindness manifests in your heart …throughout your day… guiding your every step… informing your life… gifting you…gifting others, encouraging you to choose love over fear and in this way bring healing to a hurting world.

“Act with justice, love with kindness and walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Liz Sorensen Wessel
Watercolor by ~liz

Days 237-241 - That "Slant of Light" - Hope & Healing

   Here is one sentence never spoken by a depression sufferer: "I feel hopeful." Caregivers know a patient is recovering when they say, "I feel hopeful again."

   Having often been attacked by what Churchill called "the black dog of depression" it is astounding how effectively that beast can suck meaning from life.

   If you do not know what Churchill & I mean you are among the fortunate. We invite you, trained or not, to help others with the free (but expensive) gift of your compassion.

   It can be tricky. During one attack I sought out a dear friend because she had been a therapist. Instead of compassion, she worsened my state by saying dismissively, "I'm not good at dealing with that." 

   I hope she & you will understand better through Emily Dickinson's genius:

There's a certain Slant of light,
Winter Afternoons –
That oppresses, like the Heft
Of Cathedral Tunes –

   Have you ever danced with Darkness in the middle of the day? Seen that "certain slant" that chimes the news that darkness falls early in winter months?

   "Heavenly Hurt, it gives us," she wrote. "We can find no scar,/ But internal difference/ Where the meanings are."

  This references nothing momentary. Loss of meaning can cause loss of life.

   How do we help? When someone touches my shoulder, shows compassion through softened eyes or simply listens empathically it helps.

   When someone says, "You should be grateful" it hurts. I know I have no reason to be depressed & yet I am! That is even more depressing."

   It insults another's suffering to say, "We all have problems." It demeans personal uniqueness to say, "I understand."

   Depression is anger turned inward. Irritability causes the sufferer to drive away exactly those they need.

   Many avoid the depressed rather than offering the lifeline of their presence. 

When it comes, the Landscape listens –
Shadows – hold their breath –
When it goes, 'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death –

   "Life is so difficult when darkness covers your heart," Tracy Wimberly, R.N., once told me. Those words & how she said them showed I had been heard. A fleck of light flickered. In the distance I saw not Death but Hope. 

   Tracy shows us a way we can help others heal from this illness that shows "no scar."

-Erie Chapman  

Photograph "In Shadow" Erie 2020   

Days 235-236 A New Adventure

All of us face long term confinement and a different way of living during the Covid-19 Virus.  We suffer from fear of catching the virus and also from the demands on our physical and emotional systems when staying at home, and even with zoom, being cut off from personal contacts with family and friends.  Even strong persons feel anxious and uneasy when quarantined and tied down.  But we can alleviate our “dis-ease by adventuring in a new and important way!             

I have many hobbies and interests including in part, regular walking, fly fishing, regular and disc golfing, cooking, wine tasting; book, knife, and stone collections; Bonsai tree tending; visiting Hudson River School of Art museum exhibits; playing with my two 14 year old Grand Daughters and my newly minted 2 month old Grand Daughter, Harlie.  These past times have sustained me and kept me physically strong and mentally and spiritually healthy and resilient.

Confinement and limited travel is a great time to try a new adventure, hobby, or look into a subject and read about it; this will stimulate both heart and soul and those you serve as a caregiver or family member or friend will be pleased as they continue to find you well and alert and happy, if very concerned about our collective futures.  Find an interest and pursue it; maybe try a new recipe? Or read a new type of book or magazine? Play beautiful music of your choice, or get in your car and take a new route and find a new river or museum to revisit when the virus has released its grasp of our freedoms.  Call, visit, or email an old classmate or friend whom you know would appreciate your effort.

You will find that both of you will feel better. Walk around your greater neighborhood and reflect on all the blessings you still have. This new adventure may take you to places and dreams you have forgotten about, so be ready for a surprise!  

Terry Chaapman PhD

How are you coping? Have you discovered a new adventure?

Days 230-234 - The Most Important Uniform in the Hospital

   The overused line is that the eyes are the windows to the soul. But, what do eyes really tell us?

   Most do not look into the eyes of another long enough to discern much. As Ralph Ellison's protagonist says so bitterly, “I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me."

   The horrors of racial bias have always been tragic. The recent emergence of the Black Lives Matter movement has challenged everyone. Ignorance from many white people blocked them from seeing the point: In a nation still dominated by whites, black lives have mattered less for centuries & remain minimized to this day. 

  The issue is far broader, of course. Every minority is degraded by either not being seen or viewed as "less than." A decade ago I discovered that younger people were looking through me because my white hair signaled I was irrelevant. All you have to do is visit a typical nursing home to see that old people matter less.

  If you have worn a patient gown you know that the moment healthy eyes caught sight of you, you felt marginalized. 

   During my twelve years a head of Riverside Methodist Hospital and OhioHealth we strove to redesign the gown until we finally discovered something. It was not the gown. It was what people's eyes told them when they saw it. 

   We needed to train caregivers & visitors that the most important uniform in a hospital is not a doctor's scrubs or an executive's suit. It is the patient gown.

   When I had the power to do so I should have hung a giant picture at each of our hospital's entrances entitled: "The Most Important Uniform in the Hospital." Inside the frame, a patient gown. 

-Erie Chapman

Days 228-229 Faith Keepers

 

“In many Native American traditions, one member of the tribe will assume the role of “Faith keeper”.

The role of Faith keeper is to remain peaceful and calm, while maintaining spiritual enlightenment and understanding, no matter what the tribe may endure. 

Under extreme conditions, if every single tribe member stumbles into fear, doubt, anxiety, worry and pain, the Faith keeper maintains peace, spirituality and understanding. 

Therefore, the Faith keeper is looked upon as the mainstay to the “I AM” presence of  God, Great Spirit or Creator.” (Anonymous)

Who are the Faith keepers in your life?

We can all benefit from a Faith keeper, especially when feeling stressed or overwhelmed in these days of uncertainty. Often we search outside of ourselves for the answers. Yet, Spiritual truth encourages us to take the road less traveled; the journey within. Each of us has a guiding light, a still small voice that is ever present and as close as our breath. Befriend your personal Faith keeper. Set aside a few minutes in the morning to cultivate a listening presence.

The need to center ourselves in love and renew our spirit in order to love others  is a universal call to wholeness. 

Liz Sorensen Wessel

Note:  I came to this  quote/photo  this past week by a friend. Her sister sent it to her as an expression of appreciation to her for being a Faith keeper in their family during a recent crisis. Her story left an impression and I wanted to share this with you as well. In an attempt to give proper credit, I searched the web and found the photo and quote on various sites. One site indicated the author was an Elder wished to remain anonymous.

Days 224-227 - Ancestral Gifts

   It is our family's good fortune that both my children honor their ancestors & are experts on our history. Through them, I honor some who came before and whose trail leads into today.

   My daughter sent this image of my maternal great grandmother, Mary Lees Davis Whitehouse. Bright and beautiful in this 1880 picture she does not resemble the woman I saw in 1953 shortly before she passed away at 93. And yet she is the same.

  It was a once-only twenty minute visit. But the 140-year-old picture startles. The contrast of this bright & beautiful young lady with the woman I saw in 1953 is the difference between sunrise & the gloaming gray in her life's last room.It is a surprise what I remember

Great Grandma, 1953

...I walk the ramp to her room, uncomfortable aromas seep from the nursing home kitchen.

Her room lit by Miss Havesham. A white gowned ghost reclines
as if never to rise.

Ever after she defined the word "wan." From her wan face, a wan voice spoke my nickname, "Hello, Chip."

Her boney hand, wrapped in parchment that might crumble if I touched it was  smooth when I did. More veins than skin.

The slightest of smiles as she watched us recede.

I eased back down the rubber-ribbed ramp, out, away, freed of those smells of life's last, glad to return to the eternity of youth
looking now at my own hand, more veins than skin.

What childhood memories of relatives are tucked in the attic of your memory? Which of your ancestors were caregivers? 

-Erie Chapman

Days 221-222 "The Greatest Gifts of All"

 Throughout history, there have been many spiritual leaders that we can look to for encouragement and inspiration in troubling times. It helps to reflect upon some of these greats now and again.  As a child I recall watching "Mister Roger's Neighborhood," but as with many experiences in life, I never fully realized the significance of Fred Rogers contributions until recently.

You see, as a young man Fred attended Dartmouth college and years later he was invited to offer a commencement speech. While preparing for what he might say, he jotted down a few main points. This talk was to become one of Fred's last public speeches.

In the final draft, he penned these words ( photo) on this little note to expand upon the meaning of his familiar neighborhood songs, “It’s You I Like” and “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.”

Fred Rogers explained,“When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about … that deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.”

“It’s not easy to keep trying,” Fred reminded us, “but it’s one good way to grow.” Whatever we do, it will be for love, for peace, and for justice. "Fred influenced the lives of thousands of children with his message of brotherly love. (The Fred Rogers Center)

Perhaps on days when you might feel down, you can pull out this slip of paper to remember your own why. Or better yet, post it where you can re-read it daily!

 

Shared by Liz Sorensen Wessel
Photo, Fred Rogers Center

 

Days 216-220 - The Truth Tellers & The Rule Breakers

    If truth matters why does expressing it often require exceptional courage?

   “I was never more hated than when I tried to be honest,” Ralph Ellison wrote in Invisible Man. The truth of his statement describes why everyone lies. We want to be loved, not hated. We want to be praised, not punished. We want to please the boss, not get fired. 

   We learn lying early. Truths can bring punishment - especially for a group in which I claim life membership - the rule-breakers. 

   Truth is problematic because it is never black & white. A million nuances create a wide range from near-truth to flat out falsehood. 

   Shockingly, Kindness can be Truth's biggest enemy. We lie to protect other's feelings. Caregivers can feel trapped when a family member warns, "Do not tell mom she is dying."

   Ellison describes the searing cost of one of life's compromises when his title character mourns, "What and how much had I lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what I myself had wished to do?” 

   Truth-telling kills heroes: Socrates. Jesus. Galileo. Joan of Arc.

   Picasso was attacked for painting "too much truth" in his classic painting "Guernica." Artists (including me) use aliases to protect themselves & their work. 

   I was punished as an artist for hanging the pictured nude in my office &  fired as a CEO for refusing to lay off staff. However, I have often given false compliments to power brokers to win their support & kept silent in the face of lies. 

   Lying can become such a skill that one friend confessed, "I wish I were not such a good liar."

   The usual defense? "You have to pick your battles." But, this can lead to chronic retreat. Former FBI Director James Comey warned White House staff to watch out or "Trump will gradually eat your soul." 

   If we became better truth tellers would we discover the best of who we truly are?

-Erie Chapman

Nude Study #3 - Dane Dakota aka Erie

Days 214-215 The Weavers

“So, I say to you, walk with the wind, brothers and sisters, and let the spirit of peace and the power of everlasting love be your guide.” John Lewis

There is no denying that there is great turmoil in our world and reasons for despair. Yet, we are called to move beyond a world of fear and awaken to a world of infinite possibilities.

Throughout the ages inspired voices have called us to the more, through our spiritual traditions, historical figures, our youth, parents, grandparents, ancestors, teachers and mentors.

Pause for a moment to reflect. Who comes to mind for you? Sacred names of those who, whether living or dead, continue to guide your way. Today, we are desperate to hear a voice of one who can lead us forward in unity and reconciliation to create a better world. Yet, perhaps this desire is a false hope. Perhaps, real hope lies dormant within each of us!  Each of us, being called as one unified voice to create collective change.

A spiritual truth woven throughout all faith traditions is that “whatever the problem, love is the answer.” Our entire universe is upheld by an invisible force through which, the energy of Love flows. 

When we come into stillness, we can let go our busy thoughts, daily concerns and worries and come into spacious awareness. Spending time in contemplation, we regain a clarity of focus on what matters. We have been given a miraculous gift of life and in return we can give our lives wholeheartedly in the service of Love.

For we are not meant to live in isolation but rather in community. Alone we are powerless, yet in community we discover abundant resourcefulness. In community we find an expansive purpose that shifts from self-concern to that of the common good. In community, we cultivate a sacred container where we are strengthened by sharing in our rich diversity and the gifts of the Spirit for the benefit of all creation.

In her book, “Journey of the Soul” Doris Klein has a beautiful expression when she refers to communities of spiritual companions as the weavers. She describes companions as those “who hunger for a communal expression of joy and celebration, pain and loss, believing and knowing, that gathered together we are given the gifts of strength, courage and compassion to live and act in love.”

We are the weavers.

-Liz Sorensen Wessel