Farmers know that different crops ripen in different season. Fisherman know this idea too.
What about your harvest in this season? Whatever your age you have endured hardship & plenty, sorrow & joy, disappointment & gratitude. And...?
Farmers question quantity, quality, salability, what can be stored or shared. Underneath lie hard work & meaning.
We ask the same.
What astounds is the manifold ways that two people with similar riches can celebrate or curse their yields. Rich seventy-year olds complain it is not enough. Others with small fractions of that feel grateful.
Frequently, when a career or relationship ends in betrayal the "victim" is traumatized & devalues their life. I have experienced both. What magnified my losses was that the other was so anxious to rush on to their next chapter that they failed to honor their scarred partner. Disrespect wounds Humanity.*
Two comments expose hurt, not truth: Demonization of the once-loved job or person or, "I don't care."
"Victims" feel the frustration of the wronged & the bitterness of the humiliated. Thus, they lose not only job or spouse but, worse, they face a crisis of meaning. The question "All that commitment for nothing?" repeats itself.
I often struggle to do what I recommend: Find worth in my commitments independently. It hurts to be fired unjustly. It hurts to be divorced & ignored. It is hard to prioritize my ordination vows above my lawyer's training.
Still, I recommend to CEO's: Celebrate the departing. Show caring not indifference.
Choosing love not fear means reviewing shared history with gratitude. The same for both parties in broken relationships: Thoroughly honor history with something more than a flippant, "It's over but thanks," or the deadly, "I will always love you" (implying "But not enough to stay with you.")
So, instead of blocking memories grieve & celebrate. Thank your lucky stars for how they shined on you for awhile.
If you can do that magic trick bitter harvests will become food that will bless the rest of your days.
Erie Chapman
*This story is told searingly in "About Schmidt." After retirement, Jack Nicholson's character walks by a storage area where all his carefully kept files are being discarded.
Photograph, "Southern Harvest" by erie, 2016
