These sweet siblings already know their sister & brother relationship is meaningful. And also know very little of the pain that comes when life's relationships deepen. Caroline foreshadowed early awareness when she was 4 & her brother was disrupting her life. She told her dad, "Remember when Reed was in Mommy's tummy & I could not wait until he was born? Now, I can't stand the sight of him."
Loss is integral to meaning. For 27 years Nurse JoAnn Parker dedicated her life to caregiving. Frequently recognized for her caring heart & flooded with letters of affirmation from patients, co-workers & supervisors she was a model of Radical Loving Care.
Then her supervisor called her in. "JoAnn, we're letting you go. Nothing personal. We've got to cut costs & we're closing your Neuro unit. You'll get severance."
That was it.
There is nothing more life-affirming than meaningful relationships & nothing more crushing than their sudden end - especially for the innocent. This is true whether it is a job, a marriage, a dog or other sacred bond. Some people cry over the death of a tree or loss of a painting or destruction of a memory-drenched home.
Of course, there is no such thing as a meaningful relationship that is pain-free. To think otherwise is fantasy. Still, for those who love the a relationship's death is a killing.
Healthy relationships turn on love not fear. Pain is endurable if love is present. When fear wins pain becomes an agony that can feel life-threatening.
Is it better to have "loved & lost than never to have loved at all?" A sufferer may say no. Some never open their hearts again. Others vibrate with the coda of Emily Dickinson's words at the end of "After Great Pain":
What about JoAnn? Her work was her calling. When that vanished so did she & only recently returned.
Will she ever open her heart again? I do not know. Would you?
I sent her the Dickinson that begins:
