During Holy week, what comes to mind is the powerful, yet humble gesture of Jesus washing the disciple’s feet. In reflecting on the spiritual meaning of this act, what resonates deeply are thoughts based on a homily given by the contemplative, James Finley.
Finley begins with the premise that in faith we assume that Christ’s teachings reflect the revelations of God, such that whatever Jesus was asked to do for another, God is asking us to do for each other. Rather than literally washing someone’s feet, how we might integrate these teachings into present day realities and in practical ways in our daily lives.
What does it mean to wash one another’s feet?
To illustrate, Finley shared a story about a married couple who were asked to give an example of a stressor in their home life. The wife began to recount how her husband drinks milk directly from the carton and no matter how often she tells him how this bothers her, he continues to do it and just laughs it off. Later, her husband noticed how quiet his wife had become and so he inquired further.
Let’s pause here for a moment, as Finley puts on his marriage counselor hat. Finley explains that as the wife comes out from behind the curtain and begins to open up, in a way she is beginning to wash her husband’s feet. She shares what is going on in her heart on a feeling level and the hurt she feels about how they are treating each other. Now, the husband begins to wash his beloved’s feet as he reveals his embarrassment that he did not see this before and he apologizes. He divulges that his dad used to treat his mom this way and it was not his intention to bring this into their marriage. It is always a two-way street; how can we find a common ground for a compromise? Left unaddressed these seemingly minor irritations can grow into harboring resentments that place a wedge between people.
Life is hard enough, so why make it any harder on each other? Finley contends that we need not look for a spiritual director because the people we live with fulfill that role “as they grind us like wheat.” We know we are not perfect and that we all make mistakes, so we can try again and again to become our best selves and live into our God given potential. Anyone in a family knows that when it comes to living up to a love like this on an honest vulnerable level, we can slip under stress and regress. The good news is that when our edges show under duress our family will cut us some slack because no one is perfect, nor do we need to be.
Finley wisely counsels that to wash each other’s feet is a kind of up-close humility with empathy, patience and an intimate tenderness for one another. We can also challenge one another in a respectful way too when situations arise in order to stay real with one another.
Finley offers these reflection questions?
“What would it be like to give up whatever it is that I am doing that hurts your feelings, unnecessarily?”
“What in me hesitates to come to you to apologize and say I will try harder?”
Hey! Perhaps, the couple could buy two milk cartons one for him and another for the rest of the family to enjoy pouring milk into a glass.
We spend a great deal of our waking hours at work and the people we work with are family too. As Servant Leaders, we can focus our attention and intention on the ways to wash the feet of our caregivers, who in turn are going out to wash the feet of the “dear neighbor” in our communities.
In closing, I would like to offer this prayer by Joseph Nassal, CPPS
Compassionate God,
all the sacred rules of relationship,
all the holy ordinances that create order out of the chaos,
all the laws written on stone and etched upon our hearts
have a single source: compassion.
Your compassion and love for us is reflected
in the faces and the stories of those whose company we keep.
Bless our family and our friends,
bless our communities, colleagues, and coworkers.
bless all those we seek to serve with compassion and care.
May we take time to listen to each one’s stories,
catch each one’s tears,
hold each one’s hurt,
and celebrate the hope that keeps us faithful
to this journey of recovering your presence among us.
Amen
I highly recommend Jim Finley’s homily, with light hearted sincerity go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JceNmYbwUYg
Liz Sorensen Wessel
