Journal of Sacred Work

Days 118-122 - What Kübler-Ross Missed

 
  Have these pandemic fissures left us feeling like something or someone is dying?

   Suddenly, we have been arrested & imprisoned. People who love their work cannot do it. Children who want to say goodbye to dying parents end up waving through nursing home windows. Loved ones touch hands on cellphone screens. 

   Dr. Elizasbeth Kübler-Ross' five stages of dying become strikingly relevant. What were the range of reactions people had when news of the pandemic spread? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression & acceptance.

   There is a sixth stage, the biggest of all, pointed out by a physician friend. It is meaning. 

   Since meaning is hope & hope fuels or our lives the subtraction of that feels like a murder. We are supposed to find new life through during traumatic events. The fact that it is so agonizingly hard to do so is what infuses tragedy with opportunity.

   Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl said meaning flows from the work we offer during crises, the love we give & our ability to show courage in the face of suffering. 

   Millions are revaluing the rich meaning of a once matter-of-fact human encounter: a loving hug. When that practice returns so will hope. 

-Erie Chapman   

Days 116-117 Praise Be

 

Praise Be for thee...

Shared by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Days 111-115 - The New Two Dimensional Relationships

  Portraits are windows offering another way to "see" each other. If there is anything unusual about this self portrait it is that the subject is not smiling the way adults typically do when aware their picture is being made.

   The half-shadowed, serious face suggests something. But, your experience of it depends on you. 

   Although there are four physical dimensions we typically experience the world in three. We even think of three dimensions as the "real" world.

   What is happening to our relationships during the current widespread isolation? 

   When I FaceTime my grandchildren, quarantined in Italy, I have the illusion of a three dimensional encounter. I see & hear them. But, the experience remains two dimensional. I cannot hug them as full physical beings. 

   Yes. There is a much more to encounters than physical presence. I may experience greater depth in a letter than in a direct encounter.

   Yet, our isolation behind screens is worrisome. The phenomenon was in full sway before the pandemic struck & will continue afterwards. 

   Does this widening phenomenon of two-dimensional encounters threaten our humanity?

   Electronic devices fascinate. Why do we obsessively engage our cell phones? We have much more control that world than the one beyond it!

   Does electronic communication subconsciously convert the other being into an abstraction? Does it make it easier for soldiers to launch missiles that kill thousands? After all those are not people just a group of pixels on a screen?  

   What happens to compassion when we fall ill & our caregivers know us only as electronic images that can be turned off & on like a television?

-Erie Chapman 

Days 109-110 THE ESSENTIALS

This essay title reminds me of an FBI TV show from the 60’s with the dramatic music striking out the chords, Dun, dah dun Dah, “THE ESSENTIALS.”  Rather than solving real FBI case files scientists are working to find the key to eradicating COVID as leaders try to get us through this crisis. Life as we knew it came to a screeching halt, yet caregivers continue to serve in various capacities and for this we owe a debt of immense gratitude. Amid the chaos of this pandemic we have witnessed the very best and worst in our collective selves.

As we shelter in place, we can’t help but notice how some of the non-essentials have fallen away to reveal a deeper reality. What seemed important, perhaps is less so; like appearances, false pretenses; needing to be right, as we become a little gentler, a bit kinder as these simple gestures remind us of what truly matters. Although friends and loved ones can’t be near, we still benefit greatly from their comradely, encouragement, caring and humor to enliven and lift our spirits.

Perhaps a few unwanted guests have come a calling too… those cast out nuisances and neglected aspects of our lives that need our attention. Entering this territory is vulnerable and requires looking within honesty and courage. Yet, if we acknowledge the abandoned aspects of ourselves through a lens of compassion, we can better understand and alleviate our own suffering, which in turn enables us to help alleviate the suffering of others. This is how we can heal our world, from the inside out.

Ultimately, what this experience reminds me of is a visit to Guatemala with Concern America in 2011. Although the people I met were impoverished and without material wealth they were abundantly rich in their kindness and  the warm hospitality that they bestowed. It was as if all the non-essentials had fallen away and all that was left to give was love.  

 

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
                                                                                     Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Liz Sorensen Wessel
Mandala by ~liz

Days 103-107 - Illusions

  Why are those disembodied hands in this picture? It is not a photoshop trick.

   Those hands are actually there. The rest is a mirror-style illusion. 

   A clue? The street sign letters are backwards because everything except the hands (part of a dry cleaning shop mannequin) is a reflection (well almost everything.)

  We live with illusions. Things we think are "real" that are not. 

   The picture is harmless. Many illusions are not. Especially when they are perpetrated in ways that risk the health of millions of Americans & their caregivers. 

   When our President says, "I think [I] would qualify as not smart, but genius … and a very stable genius at that!” (January 6, 2018) We wish that were true.

   But, on February 28, 2020, after the COVID-19 virus was full blown in China & spreading to the U.S., Trump's illusion became life-threatening. He claimed the virus was a "hoax perpetrated by Democrats."

  Accordingly, the President postponed action in ways that arguably costed  lives & still causes supply shortages that threaten caregiver safety.  

   The Journal is not a political site but a place to support & to advocate for caregivers. They deserve to be led by someone who traffics in truth. Someone who makes decisions on scientific facts not on illusions. 

Erie Chapman

Photograph: "Illusions" - Erie, 2016

 

      

 

  . 

Days: 101-102 What Does It Mean To Wash Another's Feet?

During Holy week, what comes to mind is the powerful, yet humble gesture of Jesus washing the disciple’s feet. In reflecting on the spiritual meaning of this act, what resonates deeply are thoughts based on a homily given by the contemplative, James Finley.

Finley begins with the premise that in faith we assume that Christ’s teachings reflect the revelations of God, such that whatever Jesus was asked to do for another, God is asking us to do for each other. Rather than literally washing someone’s feet, how we might integrate these teachings into present day realities and in practical ways in our daily lives.

What does it mean to wash one another’s feet?

To illustrate, Finley shared a story about a married couple who were asked to give an example of a stressor in their home life. The wife began to recount how her husband drinks milk directly from the carton and no matter how often she tells him how this bothers her, he continues to do it and just laughs it off. Later, her husband noticed how quiet his wife had become and so he inquired further.

Let’s pause here for a moment, as Finley puts on his marriage counselor hat. Finley explains that as the wife comes out from behind the curtain and begins to open up, in a way she is beginning to wash her husband’s feet. She shares what is going on in her heart on a feeling level and the hurt she feels about how they are treating each other. Now, the husband begins to wash his beloved’s feet as he reveals his embarrassment that he did not see this before and he apologizes. He divulges that his dad used to treat his mom this way and it was not his intention to bring this into their marriage. It is always a two-way street; how can we find a common ground for a compromise? Left unaddressed these seemingly minor irritations can grow into harboring resentments that place a wedge between people.

Life is hard enough, so why make it any harder on each other? Finley contends that we need not look for a spiritual director because the people we live with fulfill that role “as they grind us like wheat.” We know we are not perfect and that we all make mistakes, so we can try again and again to become our best selves and live into our God given potential. Anyone in a family knows that when it comes to living up to a love like this on an honest vulnerable level, we can slip under stress and regress. The good news is that when our edges show under duress our family will cut us some slack because no one is perfect, nor do we need to be.

Finley wisely counsels that to wash each other’s feet is a kind of up-close humility with empathy, patience and an intimate tenderness for one another. We can also challenge one another in a respectful way too when situations arise in order to stay real with one another.

Finley offers these reflection questions?

“What would it be like to give up whatever it is that I am doing that hurts your feelings, unnecessarily?”

“What in me hesitates to come to you to apologize and say I will try harder?”

Hey! Perhaps, the couple could buy two milk cartons one for him and another for the rest of the family to enjoy pouring milk into a glass.

 We spend a great deal of our waking hours at work and the people we work with are family too. As Servant Leaders, we can focus our attention and intention on the ways to wash the feet of our caregivers, who in turn are going out to wash the feet of the “dear neighbor” in our communities.

In closing, I would like to offer this prayer by Joseph Nassal, CPPS

Compassionate God,

all the sacred rules of relationship,

all the holy ordinances that create order out of the chaos,

all the laws written on stone and etched upon our hearts

have a single source: compassion.

Your compassion and love for us is reflected

in the faces and the stories of those whose company we keep.

Bless our family and our friends,

bless our communities, colleagues, and coworkers.

bless all those we seek to serve with compassion and care.

May we take time to listen to each one’s stories,

catch each one’s tears,

hold each one’s hurt,

and celebrate the hope that keeps us faithful

to this journey of recovering your presence among us.

Amen

I highly recommend Jim Finley’s homily, with light hearted sincerity go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JceNmYbwUYg

Liz Sorensen Wessel

Days 96-100 - Celebrating Caregivers in Song

 

 As some yield naturally to the desire retreat emotionally as well as physically from the deafening noise that this crisis creates I know many others seek ways to serve as well as to thank those who serve. One choice is to sing - whether you are good at it or not.

   As someone vulnerable to depression, in part because I could help as a leader & have no direct option to do so due to age-related marginalization (now there's a phrase for you) I find music as one way to give back. 

   Please watch this video thank you & pass it along on your Facebook and/or Instagram page or via email. 

   Thank you caregivers everywhere - now & always. Hallelujah!

-Erie Chapman

www.eriechapmanfoundation.net

Days 95-96 Just For A Moment

Dear Love.

Please help me to rest.

I place my list of things to do in your hands.
Just for one moment. I let it go.

I place my thoughts about how things
should be different in your hands,
Just for a moment, I let them go.

I place my thoughts about how someone else
should be different in your hands.
Just for a moment, I let go.

I place my thoughts about about how I should be
different in your hands.
Just for a moment, I let them go.

Right now, just for a moment,
I allow things to be as they are,
I allow someone else to be as they are,
I allow myself to be as I am,
And so I rest.

~Amen

Offered by Liz Sorensen Wessel
Photo by Liz, Burlington Vermont

Poem by https://www.a-spiritual-journey-of-healing.com