In the middle of a spring day a four-year old was shaking a tiny tree as hard as he could.
"What are you doing?" his mother asked.
"I'm stirring the sky," he exulted.
Small children are poets & geniuses. I have longed campaigned for us to listen to them, especially if we are trying create. They see & say things that almost no adult could think up.
How do we dismiss them? More than fifty years ago I was leaving a grocery store when a three-year old beside me gazed into the spring sky & shouted, "Look, mom. A fairy!"
"Oh, nonsense!" her mother scolded. "That's just a dandelion puff."
All these years later I wonder if that sweet little girl was able to translate her childhood belief into an appreciation of adult magic.
After leaving Santa Claus behind enlightened adults realize their own miraculous powers. Look at the effect you have when you thank a caregiver, smile at a policemen or tell a doctor you are grateful for her work.
The practice of Radical Loving Care is the practice of magic. Consider your impact when you meet a patient's eyes with love in yours.
In recent years our planet has increasingly been strained by destructive fires, floods, earthquakes, poverty and famine. This has led to millions of people fleeing their homes to escape conditions incompatible with life, including war, bloodshed and torture. In unprecedented ways, the ravages and devastation of Mother Earth is signaling the utmost danger that our ecology is in serious trouble. The current pandemic gives rise to an undeniable reality that no one is immune and no one can turn a blind eye.
This universal crisis has created a new awareness and the potential for living in a new way. In Judy Cannato’s book, “Field of Compassion” she acknowledges the call and challenge of transformational change, which is rarely ever top down but rather comes from the inside out. As humans we have a natural tendency to search for answers outside of ourselves. Yet all spiritual traditions point the way home, or as the Greek word “Metanoia” connotes, a turning around, to see differently, as old perceptions fall away that no longer serve.
Conscious awareness and the recognition that all of life is interconnected is crucial to our understanding. The magnitude of world problems, can render us with a sense of powerlessness to make a difference. Yet, Cannato offers this insight, “noticed or not, every conscious act that gives witness to new possibilities and greater awareness contributes to the transformation of the whole. There is no insignificant thought, word or action.”
Increasingly I am aware that our thoughts, words and actions have a much greater impact than I ever could have imagined. As Erie has wisely counseled, we raise or lower the energy of others through our presence. Perhaps our greatest contribution in this life is to become intentional and steadfast in choosing kindness with a wholehearted desire to ease the suffering of others as well as our own. This naturally leads to an environment of healing within a field of energy that inspires and captivates the hearts and minds of others to respond to the invitation and join in. We see this happening across the planet as people and companies join in to help generate protective equipment for medical personnel as well as people offering random acts of kindness.
This sheltering in that the world is experiencing is a great metaphor for the spiritual meaning of coming home. Throughout communities, nations and the world people are responding to this universal field of compassion. Together we are finding new pathways to connect on a deeply meaningful level in both ordinary and extraordinary ways, as we help heal each other and our hurting world through our every thought, word and action.
Quarantined, the gregarious citizens of Italy (including my daughter, her Italian husband & their children) found a way to unite by taking to their balconies & singing. Others gathered to cheer for doctors & nurses.
Music & cheering do not kill viruses. Instead, they are hymns of hope that dilute Fear's poison. They are the solo chickadee singing his way through the shadows of Spring.
Every leader knows that crises galvanize people. They understand that power comes easily when people are united against a common fear.& they appreciate the second reason crises energize: emergencies fuel meaning.
Just as we are warned to stay apart the virus draws us together - both emotionally & logically. We find meaning by sharing what we have in common in whatever way we can find.
As millions become instant caregivers for the un-hospitalized elderly their lives becoming more meaningful. And the cared for feel more hopeful.
Beware of Crises' dark side. Millions concoct fear to make themselves feel better at the expense of others. The Ku Klux Klan united white racists. Nazi's did the same. In all such cases leaders distort truth to unite followers around hate instead of love.
Jesus called us to find Love against peer pressure to hate. Love your enemies. Love the lepers, those who look different & even those who betrayed you. Love the drug addict in the ER & the Death Row inmate headed for execution.
It is easy to join in when everyone is singing for good & hard to stand strong when the crowd is a mob. This standard is so difficult that we all fail sometimes & some flunk routinely.
Radical Loving Care calls us to love even when Fear says it makes no sense. Why? Because love is the heart of our highest humanity.
"In difficult times carry something beautiful in your heart" ~Blaise Pascal
May the nourishment of the earth be yours, May the clarity of light be yours, May the fluency of the ocean be yours, May the protection of the ancestors be yours.
And so may a slow Wind work these words Of love around you, An invisible cloak To mind your life.
By the end of an all-day retreat on June. 12, 2019 the leadership team of Baylor Scott & White's Grapevine Medical Center had heard enough from me. Their president, Chris York, rose to speak & delivered what seemed a startling challenge:
"We're going to become a 5-star hospital (under Medicare's tough guidelines) & we are going to achieve that soon," he told his team. "We will do that not by seeking recognition but by delivering great care to every patient."
Much as I believe in Chris' leadership his goal seemed optimistic. This hospital had never won such a coveted designation & he had not been its president for long.
Even Chris was surprised to years when, at year's end the five stars were awarded. A "tough-minded, tender-hearted" leader, this 6'3" former football player knows about persistence, faith in God & turning the spotlight on his entire team.
Healing Hospital Gold Level Certification™ was awarded to Grapevine not because of Medicare's 5 stars but because they have built a culture of Radical Loving Care™.
Early on, Chris made the tough calls that loving leadership requires. His decisions included removing two key executives & replacing them with people he believed would grow cultures of peak excellence.
Erie Chapman Foundation claims the trademark for a standard higher than Medicare's 5 stars. It is The Mother Test™. To pass, every leader must ensure that every caregiver is someone they would want caring for their mother.
No hospital is perfect. BSW-Grapevine is coming so close the difference fades. Patients now routinely recommend it, quality scores are superb & even financial performance has soared.
It is always a team effort. Chris York was named Healing Hospital CEO of the Year because among the thousands of leaders I have observed across 50 years he is the best. He sets standards no else thinks can be reached & often delivers.
Best of all, Chris understands that Love cannot be measured. Those who think it can discard loving leadership as "touchy-feely nonsense." You live loving leadership...or you do not. Most turn to manuals. Chris starts with the Bible.
As this essay is published (March 16, 2020) COVID-19 crises is omnipresent. One hospital I would count on to deliver the right care to my loved ones is BSW's Grapevine Medical Center.
And there is one leader I would hire were I still running OhioHealth (the hospital system of which I was founding president.) It is Chris York.
-Erie Chapman
Note: Erie Chapman Foundation is a non-profit, 501c(3) corporation dedicated to advancing Radical Loving Care™ in healthcare & the arts.
It is the best smilers & the easiest laughers that I search out before every serious speech I give.
A great smile (& terrific laugh) appeared immediately at Baylor Scott & White's Grapevine Medical Center*, Dallas. On March 5 the Erie Chapman Foundation awarded the first Healing Hospital GOLD LEVEL CERTIFICATION™ to this magical organization.
The surprise was not that several people showed humor there because "Healing Hospital CEO of the Year™" Chris York has created a culture where Radical Loving Care™ is a requirement, compassion is as essential as competence, & humor is integral to leadership.
Yet, I do not often find humorists among those that wield financial spread sheets. Surprise! The first contagious laugh I heard was Vice President & Chief Financial Officer Olga Young's!**
Why is a sense of humor so important to successful leadership? Because medical researchers now know that laughter strengthens your immune system. Check this from a 2011 article by Dr. Paul McGhee: "...immunoglobulin A (IgA)...resides in the mucosal areas of the body and helps protect you against upper respiratory infections like colds and flu...these studies have shown significant increases in concentrations of IgA in response to comedy programs..."
The Mayo Clinic Newsletter reports, "Negative thoughts manifest into chemical reactions that...bring more stress...and decrease your immunity...positive thoughts...release neuropeptides that help fight stress and potentially more-serious illnesses." (April, 2019)
Sure, we should wash our hands & use common sense against the coronavirus. But did you know laughter could also help vaccinate you against illness? Yep. Ms. Young may not know it but every time she delivers her sweet laugh people get healthier!
Meanwhile, as part of Chris York's A-Team of leaders Olga Young is doing her job brilliantly. She now brings smiles of another kind via spread sheets with great news: BSW Grapevine is having a banner financial year!
Life enriching, non-violent or compassionate communication is based on the teachings of the late Marshall Rosenberg PhD. As the founder of the Center for Non-violent Communication, Rosenberg dedicated his life to fostering peace world-wide. Human beings have a natural capacity for compassion and empathy but we may choose hurtful behaviors when we are not aware of more effective strategies. NVC is taught as a process of interpersonal communication designed to improve compassionate connection with others. To communicate with compassion is to contribute to the success and happiness of everyone, at work and at home; on a more conscious level.
Author Louise Evans inspired by the teachings of Marshall Rosenberg provides communication training in workplaces all around the globe. I think you will find her Ted Talk an invaluable and enlightening experience. She offers a very practical approach to enhancing compassionate communication.
I compiled this summary of her video teachings
Red Chair: THE JACKEL
“The more we judge people the less time we have to love them.”
ATTACK
· Judge
· Reactive
· Jump to conclusions
· The I’m right game
· Punish
· Blame
· Complain
· Gossip
· Highest level of misbehavior
· Notice what is wrong vs what is right or to love people
The Yellow Chair: THE HEDGE HOG
“The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe ourselves without judging.”Krishnamurti
SELF-DOUBT
· Self-judgment
· Negative self-talk
· Victim
· Fear of rejection
· Fear of failure
· Worries
Green Chair: MEACAT
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the only way…it does not exist.” Fredrich Nietzche
WAIT
· Very aware
· Curious
· Observe
· Hold your horses
· Relax
· Interested
Blue Chair: THE DOLPHIN “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Aristotle
DETECT
· Self-aware
· Self-care
· Speak our truth
· State my intention
· Create boundaries
· Playful
· Our very best
· Grow
· Assertive but not aggressive
· Self-Empowerment
· Intelligent
· What is most important to me?
Purple Chair: THE GIRAFFE
“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” Abraham Lincoln
CONNECT
· Has the biggest heart,
· Incredible vision
· Place egos on the back burner
· Stepping into someone else’s shoes
· Embrace other realities and embrace diversity
· Ego is on the back burner
· What is important in front of he/she/ the person in front of me
· Empathy,
· Compassion,
· Understanding
· Art of listening to truly understand
· Embrace diversity, tolerance
Everything can be taken from man but one thing. The last of human freedoms-to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” Viktor Frankl
Louise Evans instructive presentation is a call to action as she informs and asks us how we can integrate these skills into our daily life:
How to translate these behaviors into everyday life:
The challenge every day is how to find balance between where we are sitting at any moment and how we listen to people and how we care for them.
Stepping into someone else’s shoe s and really listening is a great gift of generosity.
We need to become open, rationale, intelligent, thoughtful.
When someone presses our red button and we want to argue or snap at someone; just think we have five choices.
We are making choices about the behaviors that we bring in to this world, and the choices we make have a direct impact on the conversations that we have, our relationships that we form and the quality of our lives in general
What can we do on a practical level to be more aware?
We produce some of our most questionable or sometimes toxic behaviors. The idea of the five chairs is to help us slowdown in every moment of our lives and to analyze what is going on with our behavior.
Can we find the courage to apologize and say, ‘I am sorry?”
Can we all commit to making our homes, work places and our world better one behavior at a ti
John O'Donohue tells the old story about the man trapped in prison with a snake that haunts him all night long by hissing to him, "Beware. You are in danger." At dawn the man discovers the snake is merely a rope.
A stunning number of our fears (O'Donohue says 90%) are "ropes." Yet, we spend much of our lives feeding such non-existent snakes.
A successful life flows from living Love, not fear. Yet Fear makes it devilishly hard to live Love.
The mantra, Live Love not fear, has informed my life & fuels the philosophy of Radical Loving Care. For most, the last two words resonate more than do the first two. They trigger the piercing question, How much of your life is impacted by Fear in one of his forms?
O'Donohue paraphrases the Bible phrase, "We have reaped much but sewn little." That is because so many, especially caregivers, are plagued with fears of never doing enough, worries that are aggravated by the fact that no caregiver is ever thanked enough.
O'Donohue (who died unexpectedly at 52*) offers a beautiful alternative: Live a feast of delight. The very phrase brings a smile. Imagine sitting at a table flooded with your life's finest gifts.
Live Love not fear. Whenever we do that we celebrate life's highest power; bring out the best in ourselves & others.
-Erie Chapman
*It was touching to discover the above announcement that includes his gorgeous four-line poem, "I would love to live/ Like a river flows,/ Carried by the surprise/ Of its own unfolding"
Erie Chapman, Editor, Liz Wessel, R.N., M.S. Associate Editor
