(20 second video)
Stroke the leaf of a Sensitivity Plant (Mimosa Pudica) & witness one of nature's vivid miracles. The insulted leaf shrivels. Often, the plant sheds it.
At seven, during an argument with my four-year-old sister, I slapped her on the rear & shouted, "I hate you." Taking me by the arm, mom showed me the red mark I'd left & said, "You don't hate her, you love her. She's your sister!"
We love our siblings, right? We share the same blood. So why is sibling rivalry the stuff of tragic dramas from ancient Greece, through Shakespeare to soap operas. One psychologist told me, "Guns don't kill. Family insults do."
The struggle for parental approval is inborn. Your parents can say they love you all equally but kids wonder: Do Mom & Dad love my sibling more?
If that is kid's stuff why do countless adults harbor the same resentment anxieties they had as toddlers?
Dr. Eckhart Tolle says we store hurt feelings in our "pain body." Every insult we ever experienced is trapped there. The more "sensitive" we are the more our pain body poisons us.
Tolle advises releasing old slights by recognizing that it is our ego that is hurt & we are not our ego. Step back. Observe your pain body, how it is fed by self pity & starves without it. You can empty it using Jesus' solution: Love every person who ever wronged you - starting with yourself!
Tough work - especially if Forgiveness is gift-wrapped with Condescension. Arrogance is a sword I have carried too often - always unlawfully - by not practicing the love I preach.
Of course, Love does not shirk responsibility. In fact, be accountable for harm you caused - real or imagined. Resentment is a hundred pound back pack. Revenge adds two hundred pounds. Free pain from the other & your weight also eases.
A tough truth remains. Some agonies are beyond our reach. That cure is harder because hate is easier than love. Live love, not fear. Start by finding self-love.
My younger sister & I nurture deep love. The same goes for our other two siblings. We love through common blood shed in pain & shared in joy. Yes, we still joke about who's number one. But, neither Love nor our parents care about that.
Sensitivity plants release leaves insulted by clumsy human touches. Then they grow new ones.
-Erie Chapman
