Journal of Sacred Work

Days 153-157 - Celebrating Others

   The phenomenon challenges countless relationships: We share an achievement with someone & before we finish we know right away: They either do not care or are envious. We know because they either dismiss our news or instantly respond with something that happened to them.  

   Even when someone says "I'm glad for you" part of me sometimes wonders, "Does that mean they are sad for themselves?" 

   With other friends the opposite is true. The enlightened celebrate whatever good flows into life. These are the same people who grieve with us in ways that tell us they are suffering with us as opposed to secretly congratulating themselves that they are not afflicted.  

   Poet Nayyirah Waheed captures this brilliantly: 

some people

when they hear

your story

contract.

others

upon hearing your story

expand

and that is how

you 

know.

   Upon hearing a friend's child has won an award it is natural to compare our children. What is tougher is to move beyond polite support to actually celebrating the successes of others.

   When we do that a surprise arrives: The moment we share the best in ourselves we feel better as well.

-Erie Chapman

   

"I regret to inform you..."

   It is the dreaded beginning to a letter no soldier's spouse wants to receive. Across centuries millions of these missives have earthquaked families.  

   On  September 30, 1862 such a letter was delivered into the young hands of Mrs. Degrass S. Chapman. A subsequent paragraph offered the young wife-turned-widow cold comfort. "He was a good soldier, always at his post, ready for duty, brave and fearless under the murderous fire of the rebels. His comrades, who never shrank from danger, shed tears over his grave and feel his loss deeply." 

   The next paragraph cancelled that comfort. "He lay thirty-six hours on the field of battle without any assistance except a rebel gave him a drink of water." The news story contains the parenthetical comment, "(I could spare that rebel.)"

   Degrass died on September 17, 1862, the bloodiest day of The Civil War, at the Battle of Antietam. His first name is my middle one. 

   When news of death comes we always hope the loved one passed peacefully. Instead, my great uncle suffered on the battlefield receiving brief relief from an unexpected caregiver, an enemy soldier. 

   "Thus fell my brother," Degrass' older half-brother Alonzo wrote. "and while I feel deeply his loss my heart swells with thanks giving to God that he died at his post fighting bravely in his country's cause." 

   Fourteen months after Antietam, Alonzo's & Degrass' younger brother Harlan stood his ground at the Battle of Armstrong Hill in Tennessee.  On the afternoon of November 25, 1863 (the day before the first official Thanksgiving) he raised his rifle to "shoot a Reb." Suddenly, fire erupted in his hip. A bullet from another Confederate soldier had lodged there. He would carry it until his death in 1920.  

   Of course, had that bullet been as lethal as the one that struck Degrass neither his subsequent children nor his descendants (including me, one of his great grandsons) would be here. 

   We descendants have unknown caregivers to thank. After nine months in an army hospital Harlan went home on furlough. He got married, on crutches, to my great grandmother Mary C. Pitkin on March 31, 1865. 

   Later, he offered a picture of the other kinds of suffering the wounded endure when he described his trip in a horse drawn battlefield ambulance. "There was no particular road. It was deep mud, over limbs and rocks, making it a terrible ride." Afterwards he was placed in Bell House where both enemy & union soldiers were being treated. 

   Memorial Day speeches referring to millions "who suffered and died for our freedom" rarely reach our hearts. It is individual stories of comrades grieving, of the wounded lying caregiver-less & of unexpected humanity that can tear tears from our eyes.  

   Thank you, veterans. And blessings to every family who has ever received one of those wrenching letters that "regret to inform you."

-Erie Chapman

 Combination Photograph: Stones River Civil War Cemetery & Private Harlan Chapman (Harlan is buried in Butternut Ridge Cemetery.)

Days 151-152 Journey Without Distance

Note: Reflection offered by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Strolling without a destination, the day’s invitation was to linger without reason or a purpose, other than gratitude. Sitting idle upon the garden wall was a pair of worn leather boots without companion. Resting, abandoned, forgiving, trusting, lonely, lost or forgotten?

Perhaps, his feet were tired and swollen and he breathed a sigh of relief as he unfurled the tight laces to stretch his toes, released from the weariness that accompanies a day of labor, immersed in the feel of cool greening grass.

Did he sit and take in the “sky mogily blue” above and wonder, whatever had his grandfather meant, who he had never even met, when he said those confounding words?  Or did he instead rise up in ecstatic joy and for one fleeting moment; free from the cares of this world, splash and stomp with childlike glee in the cold fountain mist? Or did he sit dreamily to watch his feet dancing without moving at all?

What would bring your aching feet comfort or healing from life's injuries? When our actions cause suffering, we suffer too. Can we forgive ourselves and in doing so free others? A reversal of thought from the realities of this world returns us to our true nature.

What story do these shoes have to tell about the life of this person who has worn and molded them to the contours of their soul?

What comes to mind for you? Perhaps the truism to never judge another person until you have walked a mile in their shoes? Regardless of how leathered and old, is it still a helpful adage to live by?

 Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (1881-1955) was a French philosopher, Jesuit priest, paleontologist, and geologist. His poem (below) speaks to the sometimes excruciating experience of waiting on God.

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way
to something unknown, something new.
Yet it is the law of all progress that is made
by passing through some stages of instability
and that may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow.
Let them shape themselves without undue haste. 
Do not try to force them on
as though you could be today what time
-- that is to say, grace --
and circumstances
-- acting on your own good will -- 
will make you tomorrow.
Only God could say what this new Spirit
gradually forming in you will be.

Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
Above all, trust in the slow work of God, 
our loving vine-dresser. Amen. ~Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

 

Liz Sorensen Wessel

Photo by ~liz

Days 146-150 - The Trick

"Time is a trick. But the biggest trick of all is reality."                                                           - Dane Dakota, from the film, "Alex Dreaming."

-Dreamscape #169 - by Erie

Days 144-145 May You...

Note: Reflection shared by Liz Sorensen Wessel

“To care is to enter into the experience of someone whose life is invaded by suffering and powerlessness, and to recognize not only their need for the care we can give but for our need for the care we can receive.”

The Church Reader

The late John O’ Donohue encouraged us, "to offer a prayer of graciousness for the love that has awakened in us and to offer the warmth of our love out to others as a blessing. To send love out into the world to reach people who may be suffering," wherever they might be trapped in prison, a hospital bed, poverty, or perhaps within the confines of our own patterned thinking and limited worldview. 

 O’ Donohue believed that love is the deepest power of prayer and he sends us this: 

May you be blessed with good friends.
May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.
May you be able to journey to that place in your soul where
there is great love, warmth, feeling, and forgiveness.
May this change you.
May it transfigure that which is negative, distant, or cold in you.
May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship, and affinity of belonging.
May you treasure your friends.
May you be good to them and may you be there for them;
may they bring you all the blessing, challenges, truth,
and light that you need for your journey.
May you never be isolated.
May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your Anam Cara. 

John O’Donohue

Mandala by ~liz

 

Days 139-143 - America's Newest Healing Hospital - Bingham Memorial

   Every patient wants to be treated in a healing hospital and every hospital wants to be a place of healing as well as curing. But, very few hospitals are successful in achieving both distinctions: to be places of high competency AND high compassion. 

   The foundation I run has recently revived the national Healing Hospital certification program. Through a process of intense analysis, consulting & onsite visits we evaluate whether a given hospital has created a culture of Radical Loving Care™. Those who are deemed to have succeeded are designated Healing Hospital Certified™ by the foundation.

   The following press release reveals the latest hospital to have achieved certification. A big congratulations to Bingham Memorial Hospital and special thanks to Mark Baker and Michael Harris for guiding this process under the direction of BMH's CEO & COO. 

Press Release

         Erie Chapman Foundation, Nashville, Tennessee, is pleased to announce that it has officially certified Bingham Memorial Hospital, Blackfoot, Idaho, as a Healing Hospital for the calendar year 2017.

         “Healing Hospital Certification means that our board recognizes that BMH has met the basic standards required of a culture that practices Radical Loving Care (RLC),” according to Erie Chapman, M.T.S., J.D, President of the Foundation.

         “Every hospital claims to be healing and caring,” Chapman said. “Radical Loving Care asks a harder question: ‘Is every single caregiver someone you would trust taking care of your mother? We call this The Mother Test and it is an extremely difficult standard to reach.”

         The Foundation advances the view that hospitals that can pass it’s Mother Test will deliver improved patient care (and thus patient satisfaction) in every area by enhancing the human experience for everyone facing a healthcare challenge. Employee morale goes up, physician satisfaction improves, clinical outcomes improve, even financial performance typically strengthens, the Foundation believes.

         The recognition of BMH also acknowledges the exceptional quality of the hospital considering its relatively small size. “You don’t have to be The Mayo Clinic to deliver great care,” Chapman says.

         The certification review process for BMH began in December, 2016. In addition, the Foundation sent a representative, Todd Meador, for an onsite visit May 10 & 11 of this year. “We are very impressed with the work that leaders, including outgoing President & CEO Jeff Daniels and has chosen successor, Jake Erickson, are doing in enriching workplace culture,” Meador said. “There was already a good culture in place. But, BMH has hundreds of employees and physicians so the big goal here was to develop a culture where everyone passed The Mother Test. The only way to do that is with a strong culture supported by exceptional leaders.”

         The Foundation review determined that leadership at BMH understood that loving care is not only about compassion but is also centered in competence. BMH recently adopted a vision statement emphasizing High Competence & High Compassion. “This is the kind of thing we like to see in healthcare organizations,” Meador said.

         The Foundation emphasized that the Healing Hospital Certification is issued for one year at a time and subsequent certifications turn on whether a given hospital continues to develop & sustain a culture of Radical Loving Care. “Organizational behavior change is never a “quick fix.” It takes a long time to build a culture that is deep enough to influence the actions & attitudes of every single caregiver.” Chapman said. “BMH has now met the basic standards. It is up to them to build from here.”

         Erie Chapman Foundation, based in Nashville, Tennessee, is a non-profit trust set up to advance and support the principles of loving care. The concept of the New Healing Hospital was launched at Nashville’s Baptist Hospital in 2001 during the time Mr. Chapman was President & CEO. High success their lead to the best selling book, Radical Loving Care, written by Mr. Chapman in 2003. The culture-focused philosophy has since been expanded and supplemented in four other books.

         Organizations previously recognized as “Healing Hospitals” include Parrish Medical Center, Titusville, Florida; Mercy Gilbert Hospital, Gilbert, Arizona & St. Vincent Hospital, Billings, Montana.

         The Foundation has also recognized The Mayo Clinic, The Cleveland Clinic, Riverside Methodist Hospital (OhioHealth) & Baylor Scott & White health systems as examples of peak performing organizations where Radical Loving Care is part of the culture."

-Erie Chapman

 

Days 137-138 A Mother’s Letter

Note: Reflection by Liz Sorensen Wessel

To my first born son, Lee

I remember driving to work each day and carrying you within me and loving that you accompanied me wherever I went. Oh the anticipation and the joy. After you were born, I recall thinking that if anything ever happened to you I would not want to live. The happiness you gave your grandparents and when they came to the hospital they were so excited to meet you; their first grandchild. Your dad and Auntie were there to help bring you into this world. Natural child birth was a lot harder than I ever could have imagined… and how you cooed back at me when I told you sweet nothings. You had so much to say…and we had great conversations long before you could speak.

 

To my second born son, John

I remember how deeply spiritual the experience of birthing you was, for me. Your Dad and Auntie were there to cheer me (and you) on. The contractions were intense and I remember blurting out to the nurse who was helping me, “I love you.” That surprised me because in Lamaze classes they warned us that we might swear and say things we did not know we were capable of saying. My neighbor told me how thrilled your brother was as he exclaimed, “I am going to the hospital to see my baby brother.” That image is vividly imprinted in my heart. At age four, I recall wishing you could stay that age forever… oh how I cherished those fleeting days with you.

At times, Mother’s day has been a bit melancholy for me as I looked back on your growing up years. Sadness, about all the missed time with you boys because of working full time. I gave so much, too much, to my job. Long hours were always part of my nursing career. I did not understand the meaning of work life balance. I was fortunate that your dad worked out of our home and had flexible hours.  Grandma came over in the afternoons to help you with homework and showered you both with attention and love. I admit I felt envious at times.

Perhaps, I can write about this now, for the first time, because I feel more at peace. Instead of guilt and regret, when I can reflect back now, there are so many good memories to mine. Birthday parties, the zoo, trips to New England to visit family so that you would get to know your grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Opening our home to all the neighbor kids, fun days at the park,  rocking you to sleep, breast feeding; the one thing no one else could do for you, Sunday dinners at grandma and grandpas house, homemade horseradish grinds, and gardening, carving pumpkins, Christmas and the changing seasons.

One thing that has never been lacking is my love for you two, however imperfectly lived or expressed, it remains a love that runs deep and true.

 

To all the mothers who have lived, loved and forgiven themselves and others within the mutuality of our human frailty; I wish you enough.

 And may every good blessing be upon us all.

Liz Sorensen Wessel

Days 132-136 - What lives in Negative Space?

   All day I laid in bed waiting to recover from a debilitating sore throat. The hotel room curtains were closed but a little light leaked in. Had I been racing to an appointment I might not have noticed where it landed.   

   We move to light. Amid darkness our eyes search out any illumination. Black is often dismissed as "negative" space not worth attention. 

   Instead, negative space has great power. Black's domination of the right half of this picture determines the power of the left. 

   The wisest people notice the blank spaces. They hear the beauty between notes.  "Empty" moments become rich opportunities.

   What if we celebrated the calendar slots where nothing is scheduled rather than trying to fill them? 

   Every good artist learns that negative space holds the key to positive space. "Empty" areas allow images to breath, notes to sing & caregivers to listen for Love's voice. 

   As Hemingway wrote in an otherwise so-so poem, 

"...if you're made of empty spaces,
Don't ever think it's wrong,
...maybe they're just empty,
Until the right person comes along.”

-Erie Chapman

Photograph: Pillow Study #2 - Erie Chapman
 

Days 130-131 Walking in Unity

Note: Shared by Liz Sorensen Wessel. On April 29th over 200,000 people marched outside the White House to protest the devastating rollbacks of Obama’s Clean Power Plan. All around the country over 370 sister marches unfolded as people walked in solidarity to object to the devastating setbacks on the protections of our environment.

 This protest came just a week after the March for Science to express concerns over the administrations proposed cuts to scientific studies and to promote facts and research. There are skeptics who do not believe that climate change is real.  As you know the budget of the Environmental Protection Agency has been slashed by one third. The agency has been ordered to remove information on climate change from their website. These changes are incomprehensible to say the least.

Yet being in community with others for a common good was inspirational and the energy was so positive.  A diverse group of people walking in unity; men women and children. Regardless, of one’s political views I now realize how important it is to become involved, to participate and to give voice to what you believe in, what really matters. We have a great deal at stake.

Photos taken at the Irvine march, 4/29/17

Days 125-129 - Courage

   The very word frightens many. It enters our lives when there is pain. Who needs courage if the going is easy? 

   In fact, the word is grounded in the French, Coeur, or heart. In Consolations, David Whyte writes that, "Courage is the measure of our heartfelt participation with life."

   It is always easier to hide. That is why I have always admired my daughter's courage. Tia was only fifteen when she stepped onto the track at the huge Ohio Stadium to participate in the finals of the 4 x 800 meter relay. Ten thousand people filled the stands. The state championship was at stake. 

   It is hard enough to run a half mile full speed against the toughest competition. It is harder still to do so in a relay where each runner is under pressure. Of course, the bigger the lead you hand your teammate the better you have fulfilled your responsibility.

   It takes courage.

   When my daughter, running in the second slot, took the baton her team was tied. When she handed it off (right,) she was thirty yards ahead. Her team broke the state record. It was 1987. They held it for another twenty years.

   After such a performance most would rest. Instead, Tia ran two more races totaling over three miles & won medals in both.

   This week, the team members were inducted into their school's Hall of Fame. At the ceremony an important truth emerged. These four women, mothers & professionals, have translated their courage as girls into a "heartfelt participation with life."

   Courage is a choice. Fail to choose it & fail to live. There is no consolation for that. 

-Erie Chapman

Photo 1: Tia & Dad 1987; Photo 2: Tia hands baton to Maggie ; Photo 3: Holding Hall of Fame certificates, 2017. L to R: Tia Chapman Pierotti, Karen Saah, Maggie McLeod Bowers, Jibs Thorson Oefinger.