Journal of Sacred Work

Days 303-304 Loved into Being

 

Blessed be the mind that dreamed the day
the blueprint of your life
would begin to glow on earth,
illuminating all the faces and voices
that would arrive to invite
your soul to growth.

Blessed be those who have loved you
into becoming who you were meant to be, 
blessed be those who have crossed your life
with dark gifts of hurt and loss
that have helped to school your mind
in the art of disappointment.

  

When desolation surrounded you, 
blessed be those who looked for you
and found you, their kind hands
urgent to open a blue window
in the gray wall formed around you.

 

Blessed be the gifts you never notice,
your health, eyes to behold the world,
thoughts to countenance the unknown,
memory to harvest vanished days,
your heart to feel the world’s waves,
your breath to breathe the nourishment
of distance made intimate by earth.

 

On this echoing-day of your birth, 
may you open the gift of solitude
in order to receive your soul; 
enter the generosity of silence
to hear your hidden heart; 
know the serenity of stillness
to be enfolded anew
by the miracle of your being.  

                                        -John O’Donohue

 

Happy Birthday, Erie

with love 

 

Liz Sorensen Wessel

Above and below panel of colors by ~liz
Family photos previously shared on the JSW by Erie
Photo #3 of nude and #5 of lake by Erie 

Days 298-302 - Honoring Broken Relationships

   This is Shiloh. War once painted these yellow fields red. It took years for gold to regain dominion. 

   All battles leave scars. Six years into his marriage a friend discovered betrayal. Soon, flash fires consumed the garden where beauty had reigned. 

   I asked what he honored about his marriage. "Nothing," he said. "It was the worst mistake of my life." 

   His wounded heart seeks solace by branding his broken relationship so meaningless its ending cannot hurt him. 

   W.S. Merwin crafted this: "I tell parts of a story/ that once occurred/ and I laugh with surprise at what disappeared/ though I remember it so well.

   When we dishonor a once-meaningful relationship or a lost job we demean ourselves. Because one knife cut us do we have to tarnish every piece of silver in memory's drawer?

   You were not a fool to love. Why become one by degrading love's history? 

   Replacing heart-break with heart-joy requires healing not curing. The angry mind sees bad endings as killing fields. This mind concocts odd cures. 

   First, it dilutes agony by naming a tainted relationship as something that never mattered.

   Next, this mind redefines the betrayer as a thief who should be punished with the acid of revenge. But, acid erodes the container not the "criminal."

   Only wisdom can envision old killing fields as fertile for replanting - places where the seeds of bright recollections can be coaxed from burned earth. 

   There is forgiveness in this world but not enough. There is joy in this world but not enough. There is love in this world but not enough.

   Healing potions are mixed in hearts, not machine shops. There, love's alchemy can create the only energy that can turn lead into gold, or consecrate scarred ground as sacred once again.

-Erie Chapman

"Shiloh's Gold" - Erie 

Days 296-297 "Scattering Winter Dreams"

“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” 
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Fall is a favorite time of year for many.   On a breeze they waltzed, they danced, they fluttered before parachuting down to Mother Earth.  Sun creates a momentary luminary that casts shadows beneath her skin.

Nature gifts us with intricate designs. For those of us living in a warm climate, seasonal changes are subtle. As daylight hours wane and temperatures cool, we may resist change  or discover  Grace in our surrender; for every ending is a beginning.

A Blade of Grass

Said a blade of grass to an autumn leaf, “You make such a noise falling! You scatter all my winter dreams.”

Said the leaf indignant, “Low-born and low-dwelling! Songless, peevish thing! You live not in the upper air and you cannot tell the sound of singing.”

Then the autumn leaf lay down upon the earth and slept. And when spring came she waked again — and she was a blade of grass.

And when it was autumn and her winter sleep was upon her, and above her through all the air the leaves were falling, she muttered to herself, “O these autumn leaves! They make such a noise! They scatter all my winter dreams.”

K. Gibran – The Madman Chapter 30

~liz Sorensen Wessel

Photos:
October Colors, 2015 PA-by Lisa Gayle (niece) 
Leaf Luminary, 2009 Vermont- by ~liz

Days 291-295 Great Expectations?

 "Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day." - Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

    Expectations. They are the stuff of great literature because they are the fire that energizes much of life.

    The fully alive embrace relationships with passion & hope. The power of connection yields ecstasy & the greatest expectations. 

   "Here is the person I have always sought," you thought. Perhaps, it is a life partner, a leader, or a friend. It could be a newfound love or your very own child.

   "Mr. Chapman, would you like to meet your son," a nurse told half-asleep me one Sunday morning. In that instant a chain of gold bound us. Forty-seven years later, there he is with his son.

   Expectations flowed that first day. My son & his sister have met & exceeded my highest hopes. 

   Expect success, coaches advise. Positive thinking is good. Still, you know the wider truth. The more you expect the more disappointment & even betrayal visit you. Amid disappointment we struggle to force others in a mold of our design. 

    Remember your first day as a caregiver. "Just think what could be?" your heart asked. Years later, burnout may have scorched the edges of your expectations. 

   Dickens knew the truth. "Ask me no questions, and  you'll be told no lies," he wrote in his masterpiece of expectations raised & dashed & raised again. 

   Gladly, hope truly does spring eternal for those who live love. "One memorable day," you met someone. Amid the flowers there were thorns. But the beauty of the former tells you that love prevails for those who hold fast to their dreams. 

-Erie Chapman 

Photo: Tyler Erie Chapman with Miles Flynn Erie Chapman

Days: 289-290 Love Letters

 "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world. "                                                                                                                               ~Mother Teresa

Days 284-288 - Has Been or Never Was?

 
The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are. 

--C. G. Jung

   Good art always poses questions. Answers are better left to the viewer. In this photograph mystery & beauty matter more than identity or location. To push for the latter devalues the former. 

   After I retired as President of Nashville's Baptist Hospital System a mid-level executive said to me, "I guess you're a has-been now."

   "I'd rather be a has-been than a never was," I replied, pleased that I thought of a snappy rejoinder.

   There is something off-putting about either choice. "Has-been" implies meaningful life is over. "Never was" passes judgment on someone who may only appear to have lived a life of lesser deeds.   

   The dichotomy is fake. The most "successful" among us may live lives of accomplishment beyond the conclusion of a given career. Those who seem to be "Never wases" instead "always were," especially if they have been loving caregivers.

   In any case, our worth does not depend upon our job. 

   It is very important to use our God-given potential to do what we can for others. Our lives give us the power to do so much & it is always tragic when opportunities are squandered through fear of commitment. Still, it is important to celebrate lives of quiet elegance among those who keep their circle small.

   Now living in a smaller circle I photograph every day. With more time to live that passion I no longer apologize that it is just an avocation. For me, photography is as much of a career as practicing law or running hospitals. Yet, charity remains paramount.

   Who is to say whether your life has been successful? You, of course. Maybe your answer is the only one that matters. 

   Live love, not fear & you will always succeed.

-Erie Chapman

Photograph "White Series #4" copyright erie chapman 2014

Days 282-283 It's a Most Unusual Day

Recently several of our healthcare ministries moved together into one central location.  People I only knew through phone communication, I now greet in the elevator and we are all getting to know one another. This change has created a new sense of a community in our expanding network of care. (click on photo to enlarge)

A unique invitation was extended to caregivers to take part in commemorating our  sacred space while parts of our building are still under construction. We were encouraged to stop by the unfinished board room to pen an inspiring thought or blessing on the walls before they paint the room.

It was fun to see and experience creative and positive energy build and overflow as more and more caregivers began to participate. Throughout the week, people added their own uniquely meaningful verse,  blessings  and inspiration with a touch of  of humor  sprinkled here and there.

Although these prayer intentions will become invisible once painted over, Love's energy will remain. Photos will be taken of each person's inscription to offer as reflections, and others will be framed and posted throughout the building.

                                              

This sacred gesture between and among caregivers has enhanced a sense of unity,  reflecting the soul of our ministry in an abundance of wisdom, purpose and abiding Love. 

 

~liz Sorensen Wessel

Days 278-282 - Who surrounds you?

 
   This photograph screams peer pressure. Just one soul refused to raise his arm in the Nazi salute. 

   The crowd hails Hitler's hatred. Most surely harbor a loving heart. Yet, they are afraid to be kind. Fear - love's counterpoint - can force nice people to support horrifying things. 

   Love, the highest power we know, can lift up any person or group you encounter. Fear can do the opposite.

   Peer pressure is as old as civilization & clearly a product of it.

   Who decides how you behave?  You, right? It turns out that peers have such an impact that some of us can hardly figure out which thoughts are ours & which simply mimic our peers. 

   Is your closest circle lifting your heart or strangling it? Is their influence causing you to do things you do not believe?

   Peer pressure narratives populate literature. There is the cozy New England town portrayed in Peyton Place, like all small towns, a place of love & fear. Neighbors help neighbors through thick & thin or make outcasts out of free thinkers.

   A sweet-seeming community can behave like the characters in Hawthorne's masterpiece The Scarlet Letter & drown, by their shunning, anyone who has broken their code. 

   Peter denied Jesus three times. He feared the crowd. 

   Your community of fellow caregivers matters here. Do they champion love or drag down those who seek to practice it? 

   The Good Samaritan bucked peer pressure to help a wounded stranger. The "crowd" was against him. Radical Loving Care is called radical because it stands against fear-driven crowds.  

   Do people around you demean your beautiful efforts at courage & self compassion or do they diminish the self-care that is critical to your calling? 

   Who among us has the inner strength to live love, not fear? 

-Erie Chapman

Photograph courtesy of Buzzlamp

Days 276-277 The Grace of Unknowing

The following reflection contains a few pearls of wisdom gleaned from Fr. Richard Rohr’s book “Falling Upwards” as well as the wisdom from other spiritual readings along the way.

 As children we are naturally egocentric and believe that we are the center of the universe. In the first half of life our task is to develop our unique identity. We learn that in this world success is measured by being the best so we strive to achieve, accomplish, and set goals to reach the top.

We grow into adulthood, work hard to establish our careers, settle in, maybe get married and have a family. We learn to define ourselves through differentiation. Our minds label and categorize and we make judgments that determine our likes and preferences. Our preferences create emotional expectations and it has been said that “an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen.” Our thoughts solidify in black and white terms, and the either or of dualism.

Through the years, we become very attached to the identity we have created for ourselves. The problem is that we must constantly be on guard to defend and protect our carefully crafted persona in our desire to be loved and accepted. We are afraid that if people knew "the real us" they would no longer love us. 

Richard Rohr explains that universally we are all addicted to our ingrained ways of thinking. Basically, we want to get our needs met, we all have our fears, hurts, biases, limits and blind spots. The truth is we are often our own worst enemy.  Yet, Erie offered us another possibility in his powerful essay, "Days 271-275 Stop Beating Yourself Up!-The Art of Self-Kindness."

As we move through our days we inevitably experience the heartache of loss as our outer shell begins to crack. The falling away can create openings, as well as angst, as we confront our shadows and are humbled by our powerlessness.

We begin to free ourselves from the non-essentials  and focus instead on what really matters. Our world view shifts from an all or nothing mentality to a both/and perspective. We realize that expectations cause unhappiness and so we loosen our grip on our idealized notions. We honor all aspects of ourselves, our traditions and begin to live in communion.

In this second half of life, we explore the deeper meaning of our lives. Grace opens into the mystery of paradox, ambiguity and unknowing with new awareness and faith. For as Fr. Rohr affirms, we are being guided by the One who believes in us, knows us better than we know ourselves, and loves us so much more.

When in the soul of the serene disciple
With no more Fathers to imitate
Poverty is a success,
It is a small thing to say the roof is gone:
He has not even a house.

Stars, as well as friends,
Are angry with the noble ruin.
Saints depart in several directions.

Be still:
There is no longer any need of comment.
It was a lucky wind
That blew away his halo with his cares,
A lucky sea that drowned his reputation.

Here you will find
Neither a proverb nor a memorandum.
There are no ways,
No methods to admire
Where poverty is no achievement.
His God lives in his emptiness like an affliction.

What choice remains?
Well, to be ordinary is not a choice:
It is the usual freedom
Of men without visions.

By Thomas Merton

Offered by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Mandala by ~liz