Journal of Sacred Work

Days 194-198 - The Top 3 Ways Love Promotes Health

   Standing atop a hill amid rocks she celebrates life with open arms. That is how we rejoice - by opening ourselves.

   You know what this looks like. 

   Love opens the body. In victory Olympians raise opened arms. A women opens her legs to receive her lover. Mothers open to free their babies into this world. Friends welcome each other with open arms.  

   The expansive self embraces. This actually nurtures health. The constricted self blocks love, damages health & obstructs healing. 

   Fear causes us to close, to tighten, to stress our bodies against perceived threats. Crossed arms, clenched fists & gritted teeth all characterize health-damaging anxiety. Fear even blocks the appreciation of high art & deep passion. 

   Here are the top three ways love promotes health:

   1) Love relaxes the body. Because love is not possessive, lovers treasure presence & do not fear loss. For example, loving parents are grateful for their children & understand that they do not own them. 

   2) Love strengthens the immune system. Every scientific study demonstrates this. Romantic lovers are not the only beneficiaries. Love your friends & your pets & feel similar health benefits.

   3) Love gives life meaning. Every caregiver knows this. The act of caregiving opens the heart for healing.

   A psychologist friend shared a useful image. "Notice how your body tightens when you are angry or jealous. Your body constricts when you are trying to control. Consider how that eases when you are expansive. You feel better because you are better."

   That is what love does. Even when it does not "cure" love always heals. 

-Reverend Erie Chapman

Photograph by Erie

Days 192-193 Peace

 As we enter into the Sabbath of this summer eve I wish you peace; deep abiding peace… and love. May we know and be peaceful.  To make peace with whatever needs expression and to greet whatever feelings arise, no matter how difficult, with a little willingness to see anew. To give is to receive. May your peace filled radiance flow from within to warm the hearts of the world.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, the truth;
Where there is doubt, the faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen.

 "Contemplatives in all religions invariably come to the same insight because it is the deepest level of truth: Being is One." -Richard Rohr

   

Contributed by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Mandala by~liz

Days 187-191 - Divine Magic

   Today, in Sherborne, Massachusetts, the divine dawn breaks both night's hold and my heart. The May light sews a hundred gold scarves & tosses them into the woods lassoing the grateful necks of every oak. One scarf dresses a female gingko in pale chiffon dotted with shape-shifting shadows. Near the hem of the 19th century home of landscape genius Frederick Law Olmsted (creator of Central Park), the same sun trims the tips of a choir of Bleeding Hearts. 

   This is magic. This is joy. It is painful. All loving care is like this.

   Why must love demand so much of us? Why can't we limit love's divine magic so that it is all joy and no sorrow?

   The key to our humanity is secreted in this conundrum. In the new land of artificial intelligence scientists create robots that do fantastical things. One thing robots will not experience is suffering. What inventor would program that awful feeling into a machine? Neither will anyone be able to conjure compassion into computers that are, by definition, heartless. 

   Robots can only mimic. "The ability to care is the hallmark of the human, the touchstone of morality and the ground of holiness," John O'Donohue wrote. "Without the warmth of care, the world becomes a graveyard. In the kindness of care, the divine comes alive in us."

   At his fourth birthday my youngest grandson coughed. Glancing around the table he announced, "Hey everyone, the Birthday Boy coughed." In that divinely funny moment, he felt regal & so did we. What he knew is that we cared. What we all felt was the magic of the divine. 

   Today is his fifth birthday. He still embraces magic. May he discover, as an adult, that love's magic is divine. 

-Erie Chapman

Photograph, "Olmsted's Bleeding Hearts" by Erie

Days 145-146 Ever Present

I offer the following quotes from David Whyte’s book, “Consolations”  as reflection on this Memorial Day weekend.

“Friendship is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through another’s eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy. All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and mercy all friendships die.”

“But no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend or sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”

“Heartbreak is unpreventable; the natural outcome of caring for people and things over which we have no control…”

“Heartbreak begins the moment we are asked to let go but cannot, in other words, it colors and inhabits and magnifies each and every day; heartbreak is not a visitation, but a path that human beings follow through even the most average life. Heartbreak is an indication of our sincerity: in a love relationship, in a life’s work, in trying to learn a musical instrument, in the attempt to shape a better more generous self. Heartbreak is the beautifully helpless side of love and affection and is [an] essence and emblem of care… Heartbreak has its own way of inhabiting time and its own beautiful and trying patience in coming and going.”

“Heartbreak is how we mature; yet we use the word heartbreak as if it only occurs when things
have gone wrong: an unrequited love, a shattered dream… But heartbreak may be the very essence of being human, of being on the journey from here to there, and of coming to care deeply for what we find along the way.” -David Whyte

Thank you to all our veteran;s many who have made the ultimate sacrifice; to lay down their lives for love of another.

Contributed by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Mandala by ~liz

Days 140-144 - Recollections of Ecstasy

   If it is a gift to experience amnesia around pain is it a curse that ecstasy can also confound our recollection? 

   Ecstasy travels three different paths. It can arrive through any of our our earthly senses. It emerges in spiritual epiphanies. It comes when the mind suddenly solves difficult problems.

   In whatever form, its glories drench our being with what seems like the highest joy life can offer. Since the mind has so much trouble recalling the ecstatic we seek to repeat such soul filling experiences in various ways. The wisest among us figure out the difference between transaction-based versus love-filled encounters.

   If I eat food simply to fill my stomach I satisfy my appetite. Once my desire has been met the experience is not worth recollecting. If I savor each bite of food & each sip of wine than I live the ecstasy that can only flow from love's passion.

   The same is true in sexual encounters. A man sleeping with a prostitute may experience an orgasm but neither person will experience ecstasy. That hallowed moment is reserved for lovers. 

   On the road to Damascus Paul of Tarsus was visited by a classic spiritual epiphany. Maybe you felt this on the day your calling sang clear. 

   After years of painting mandalas Liz Wessel knows when something special has come from her brush. Most photographs I have made miss the mark. Because I have been looking so long I know when an image creates ecstasy for me. 

   When you solved your first Algebra problem or figured out a puzzle or got a joke your mind rejoiced.

   Every ecstatic experience shares one thing in common: love. Without it "satisfaction" is cheaply won and ultimately devoid of meaning. With it, ecstasy is truly worth recollecting with gratitude. 

 -Erie Chapman

Photograph by Erie     

Days 138-139 The Goodness of the Sky

"Our life is an apprenticeship to the truth that around every circle another can be drawn; that there is no end in nature, but every end is a beginning; that there is always another dawn risen on mid-noon, and under every deep a lower deep opens." -Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

I am drawn to the circle as a sacred symbol because of a universal quality of all-encompassing Love. 

We try hard to name and make solid the fluidity of life. Try as we may, we recognize that many of life’s events are beyond our control. The old adage, "it is not what happens to you in life but rather how you respond" encourages us to step out of our conditioned thinking and into a new realm.

When we are in nature we feel an instant connection with our Source; the Breath of life. Spring lures us into Light to remind us we are part of something grand. We trust in the goodness that surrounds us and is at the very core of our being. Thoughts can weigh us down with worry. Suffering stems from a faulty perception that we are separate from each other and Love.

John Muir (1838 - 1914) understood a deeper truth, “To lovers of the wild, these mountains are not a hundred miles away.  Their spiritual power and the goodness of the sky make them near, as a circle of friends. ... You cannot feel yourself out of doors; plain, sky, and mountains ray beauty which you feel.  You bathe in these spirit-beams, turning round and round, as if warming at a camp-fire.  Presently you lose consciousness of your own separate existence: you blend with the landscape, and become part and parcel of nature.”

Whether gazing at the sky or the universe in your eyes, I see Beauty in your goodness.

 Contributed by Liz Sorensen Wessel

 

Days 133-137 - Time & Suffering

    The only thing that lasts a long time is suffering. All other time – occasions of comfort or joy - moves faster.

    If you are lying bed fast in the hospital and need the bathroom a five-minute wait for a nurse feels like an hour. The drilling pain of a kidney stone can convert a twenty-minute postponement of Demerol into half a lifetime. At a deeper level the horror of long starvation makes life itself an interminable hell.

    In a way that offers more eloquence than I can muster famed New York Times columnist David Brooks writes that, “…the big thing that suffering does is it takes you outside of precisely that logic that the happiness mentality encourages. Happiness wants you to think about maximizing your benefits. Difficulty and suffering sends you on a different course.”

   What is that “different course?” Our selective amnesia can cause us to forget how much the ill need relief from suffering now! Pain free at your desk it may be hard to connect with the pain-flooded woman in the room two floors up and how she is counting on you to make sure she receives great care all the time. Our desire for pleasure causes us to discard thoughts of pain, and the experience of it, as quickly and effectively as possible.

     Years ago, on my “Life Choices” television show, a young woman shared that she was grateful for her experience overcoming cancer. She said she would rather have had the disease than not. Cancer taught her things. It ennobled her. I have had a similar experience across my half century with Crohn’s disease. Lying on the floor cramped up with agonizing spasms I found myself slipping outside routine thinking and into a place where I not only understood suffering better but was changed by it.

    The presence of chronic illness means I am never far from my own pain and thus can connect with others who are in the midst of it. It is unlikely that I could have understood the importance of my role in healthcare leadership had I not been hounded by the loneliness & terror that illness inflicts.

     Brooks writes that, “…suffering drags you deeper into yourself.” He references the theologian Paul Tillich who wrote that, “people who endure suffering are taken beneath the routines of life and find they are not who they believed themselves to be.” 

   Beauty does this as well. Suffering & Beauty take us both beneath and above "the routines of life." There we see clearly that love matters more than time. 

-Erie Chapman

Photograph: "Anonymous Time #2" - by Erie 

Days 130-132 The Finest Art

"Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation as any painter’s or sculptor’s work; for what is the having to do with dead canvas or dead marble, compared with having to do with the living body, the temple of God’s spirit? It is one of the Fine Arts: I had almost said, the finest of Fine Arts." ~Florence Nightingale

 There is doubt that Florence considered her work a calling as she was a true healer who touched the lives of many with Radical Loving Care (RLC). She understood the delicate balance between science and art and the importance of human dignity. Her contributions had a profound impact in the advancement of nursing practice. We celebrate nurses during the month in which, she was born as a fond remembrance of her dedication. We would also like to acknowledge all the caregivers who are there for their loved ones day in and day out. We honor you with this prayer written by Jean deBlois, CSJ.  

Jesus (God, Giver of Breath), you are the Healer

who calls all nurses to serve and to care for people in your name.

As we carry out this holy ministry, be with us,

bless us with the wisdom of your Holy Spirit and fill us with the compassion

that allows us to put the needs of those we serve before all else.

In the midst of this highly technological and often impersonal age

let us not forget that nursing is fundamentally about being with people in need.

It is about touch … a listening presence … a willing and compassionate heart that sees beyond symptoms and signs of illness

to a person in need and to their community of concern.

Help us to embrace the charism that is nursing … to make it our own    and in so doing to bring your healing presence into the lives of people in need.

In your holy name we pray.

Amen.       ‐Jean deBlois, CSJ

 Is there a nurse who has touched your life? Perhaps you a nurse? Who was your role model? Have you reflected on your profession and what gives meaning to the work you do? Maybe you did not go to nursing school but you have learned the art of nursing by caring for someone you love? Share a thought, a word an idea, or the love in your heart....

Contributed by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Days 126-130 - A Dream Hospital (1950s) in 60 seconds

 

   In just sixty seconds of film industrialist Henry Kaiser offers his dream hospital. Then-new fluoroscopy offers a view "of every part of the body." A nervous father stubs out a cigarette in the waiting room. Babies are delivered to their mothers through slots in the wall.

   The film engages classic '50s-style narration. It is a fascinating one-minute window into the times. 

   The best idea I saw was an outdoor swimming pool on the hospital grounds. If it it was for the staff it suggests an early awareness of the need for self care. On the other hand, what would patients have thought if they had glanced from their beds at nurses and doctors frolicking in the water?

   Noticeably absent was any reference the hospital's mission: to offer compassion as well as technology. Industrialists & hospital executives are often blind to such "soft skills." How do you portray them? How do you measure them?

   American healthcare has been out of balance for decades. When technology invaded hospitals a century ago the men in charge of care back then were enchanted. That obsession continues. 

   Technology brings magic to curing. It does little for healing. The love invisible to the fluoroscopy of then and the MRIs of now is the only thing that can make healing visible. 

-Erie Chapman

Days 124-125 Heart of Humanity

Why is it that dreaded calls come in the middle of the night? Roused from sleep by a thrill ring of the phone, I answered with trepidation. My heart started to pound as my daughter in law said, “Liz, something has happened to Lee. He collapsed at work and had to be resuscitated, they think he had a cardiac arrest. “Miraculously our son’s life was saved by a Good Samaritan, an off-duty police officer, who initiated CPR and knew how to use the AED. 

We were beside ourselves when we learned that Lee had suffered a second cardiac arrest in less than 24 hours. This time the doctors and nurses saved his life at Sanford Cardiac Hospital in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  Now that the crisis is over and Lee is recovering well at home, I find myself reflecting on the outstanding care Lee received.  Sanford was unique not only in how they wrapped their arms around Lee but our family as well. It is not surprising that one of Sanford’s values is family, which they describe “as the connection and commitment we have to each other through it all.”

Sanford is a state of the art healing hospital that was carefully designed for exceptional care with the comfort of the patient and family in the forefront. A hotel is attached to the hospital with an enclosed sky walk for the convenience of family. As I entered, I was immediately struck by a calm, sanctuary atmosphere and gorgeous art by local community artists.  Most impressive was an incredibly moving sculpture called “Heart of Humanity” by Benjamin Victor, which symbolizes “the core values of the people of the region: the pursuit of knowledge, the advancement of medicine, the bond between people and the land and the support of loved ones, family and caregivers. The back of the sculpture reveals itself as an anatomically correct depiction of the human heart.”

 I found the soft piano music soothing and the beams of sunlight streaming down from above a consoling warmth. There are no set visiting hours you can come and go as you please.  Family members are welcomed with a guest area equipped with a coffee station and snacks. Meals were not served off of a cart at prescribed times. Whenever Lee was hungry he could pick up the phone and order a meal off the menu.  As we kept vigil by Lee’s bedside there was a couch available for resting. Every person we met was professional, kind and attentive.

During Lee’s stay I met two women who I will remember. Carmen greeted families in the surgical waiting room and kept family members updated. She was hospitable towards us during Lee’s surgery but I was too distracted with concern to engage. The next day we ran into her by the elevator. She remembered us and inquired about Lee. When she noticed my Lady of Guadalupe pendant she shared a story in which, she escorted some Catholic Sister’s out of Mexico to the US. The experience left an indelible imprint on her soul and sharing her story with us touched my heart.

Volunteer, Dorothy Bostic RN practiced nursing for 60 years and graduated from Sanford nursing school in 1955. The first thing Dorothy said to me was “Let me give you a big hug.” Leaning on her cane she escorted me on a tour of the one room medical museum. She was a healer and I knew I encountered one of the greats. 

Sanford’s promise to patients and employees is to deliver a flawless experience that inspires. They certainly kept their promise to us! I am grateful for the outpouring of love, support and prayers we received from our family and friends. Thank you dear hearts.

 Liz Sorensen Wessel