Journal of Sacred Work

Day 271 - The Call of Beauty - Another Day with John O'Donohue

   Caregivers like you need Beauty in your life each day. Amid the ugliness of the illness & struggles of people you serve there may be days on which it is especially hard to touch that beauty.

   What grounds you? Beauty offers herself.

   In beauty there is hope. In hope lives life & love.

   Everytime I try to think of writing something of my own for you I find myself unable to match anything as remarkable as what John O'Donohue (1956-2008) offers (emphasis added):

   In Greek the word for 'the beautiful is to kalon. It is related to the word kalein which includes the notion of 'call.' When we experience beauty, we feel called. The Beautiful stirs passion and urgency in us and calls us forth from aloneness into warmth and wonder of an eternal embrace. It unites us again with the neglected and forgotten grandeur of life. The call of beauty is not a cold call into the dark or the unknown; in some instinctive way we know that beauty is no stranger. We respond with joy to the call of beauty because in an instant it can awaken under the layers of the heart a forgotten brightness.

   I stop my quote of O'Donohue here so as to permit each of us to reflect on Beauty as a call - a gentle, passionate & eternal friend.

-Erie Chapman

photo: "Ruffled Water" by Erie 

Day 270 - The Man Who Knew Beauty

   A few years back, a friend handed me a copy of John O'Donohue's book, Beauty - The Invisible Embrace. I did not imagine how much it would become part of my life

   I have two copies. One lives on my desk at home. The other I carry always in my briefcase 

   Liz Wessel and I often quote O'Donohue. Instead of referencing one sentence of his, I offer you this selection from Chapter One (emphases added):

   When we hear the word "Beauty", we inevitably think that beauty belongs in a special elite realm where only the extraordinary dwells. Yet without realizing it, each day one of us is visited by beauty. When you actually listen to people, it is surprising how often beauty is mentioned. A world without beauty would be unbearable. Indeed the subtle touches of beauty are what enable most people to survive. Yet beauty is so quietly woven through our ordinary days that we hardly notice it. Everywhere there is tenderness, care and kindness there is beauty. Despite our natural difficulties with our parents, each of us has in our memory moments of deep love we shared with them. Perhaps it was a moment in which you became aware of some infinite tenderness in the way your mother gazed upon you, and you knew that her heart would always carry you as tenderly as it carried herself. Or it might have been a phrase of affection that has continued to sound around your life like a bright circle of blessing.

   What could be more beautiful than O'Donohue's own words? It is the way in which they inform your actual experiences of beauty - including the moment you are living right now.

-Erie Chapman

Days 268-269 A Good Trait

In recent weeks since my mom’s death I have been honoring her memory by contacting relatives and friends to say hello and to reminisce a little. I have found these conversations to be of great solace.

I recognize the necessity of grieving in quiet reflection, in the company of friends and family, and in the affirmation of love.

The world continues to spin but something inside me has had to stop,  pay attention and walk gently.

Yet the daily demands are relentless and grief herself is quite fatiguing, especially when she decides she must visit in the  night.

In the stillness, of this in between space, a veil lifts in the dark of night, shining clear constellations of Light, sparkling hints of our connectedness to cast out loneliness.

In the midst of sorrow, I am buoyed by the generosity of Love’s expansive nature.

Yesterday, a colleague stopped by and in a moment of vulnerability. She recounted how she was watching a TV western the previous night and a song she heard, reminded her of her father. Suddenly, a wave of grief filled emotion hit her without warning, even though it has been two years since he died. The intimacy of sharing creates connection and deepening friendships.

A dear friend recently lost her mom and revealed that she had received a beautiful visitation from her in a vivid dream. She let her mom know just how much she loved her and then experienced an overflowing sense of happiness.

Yesterday, a kind co-worker gave me a mass card in which, my mom will be remembered in prayer.

Today,  a collea gue surpised and brightened my day  with a peace lily to remember my mother. 

Recently, I made contact with cousins on my dad's (mother) Swedish side of our family. I have not seen my cousin or his wife since I was little but I needed to inform them of my mom’s passing. Their expression of love, through stories, photos and family history has flooded my heart.

My cousin’s wife told me that she used to hold me and did not want to put me down and she liked to read stories to me. The care in which they both have carefully labeled photos paired with fascinating tidbits of family quirkiness is a gift beyond measure. You see my grandmother, Svea died long before I was born, as well as my grandfather, Emil. I am completely overcome by the love they have bestowed upon me. The following is an excerpt from one of their e-mail correspondences.

“I have heard it said that on their death beds people never think to themselves how much they wish they had earned higher grades in school or made more money or did more travel. It is family connections that are the important things and the comfort that we have done as much as we could have done for others that come through in our old age. When we reach out and share our lives with other people, those people will be more inclined in their lives to reach out to others as well. It is passing along a good trait and a good method to make our lives worthwhile. Can anything top time spent? It is so much better than material things purchased and given. Those can be lovely but do they ever mean as much to us as caring notes written and sent, hugs given, laughs shared? Those are the real value commodities we can give that mean the very most. It is not something that can be taught to others. But, by the grace of God, it in one of the most valuable gifts we are ever granted.”

Much love dearest cousin…

 I know my parents would be really tickled to know that we have reconnected.

Contributed by ~Liz Sorensen Wessel

Photos I received from my cousins, the first is Trollhatten Sweden and the second is my grandmother, Svea as a young teenager.

 

 

Days 263-267 - "Praise hounds"

   "I'm a praise hound," an artist friend said to me recently, confessing a part of her truth with a chuckle. 

   Aren't we all? We may not be our egos, but much of our persona still turns on the opinions of others. 

   We need those opinions to stay in touch with society's reality. At the same time, Stephen Dunn warns of the risks: "After the extravagant letter came/ I remembered how praise/ can keep you from belonging to yourself..."

   My three-week old granddaughter has none of those worries. Basking in the light of the natural narcissism every newborn carries she rests secure in her father's hands.

   Of course, the further she moves from those hands the more she will need to ground herself in the truth of her inner voice. Otherwise, she will risk floating on the vagaries of other's views. If she tunes only to praise she will also feel damned by criticism. 

   It is a challenging discernment. How will she learn the healthy self-love (& its accompanying self-esteem) that will balance her inner voice with outer critiques? 

   Like all balancing, the center is ever-shifting. Radical Loving Care (of self as well as others) is "radical" because it is unusual. It is rare to find and life-giving when it is discovered. 

   Maybe, the balance point lives where Dunn descibes it in his poem Heaven, "I was near that place/ dreamers lean into, baffled, becalmed."

-Erie Chapman

Day 262: International Day of Peace

Today, at 12:00 pm people across the globe will pause in silence and in meditation with One Thought uniting us all; peace.

Peace within, peace above, peace below and peace all around us.

Peace...

"International Day of Peace (“Peace Day”) is observed each year on 21 September. Established in 1981 by resolution 36/37, the United Nations General Assembly has declared this as a day devoted to strengthening the ideals of peace, both within and among all nations and peoples. Furthering the Day’s mission, the General Assembly voted unanimously in 2001 to adopt resolution 55/282 establishing 21 September as an annual day of non-violence and cease- fire."

"Anyone, anywhere can celebrate Peace Day. It can be as simple as lighting a candle at noon, sitting in silent meditation, or doing a good deed for someone you don’t know. Or it can involve getting your co-workers, organization, community or government engaged in a large event. You can also share thoughts, messages and pictures to commemorate Peace Day on social media. Use this site to find organized events in your area and for inspiration on celebrating Peace Day in your own way."

"Meditation is not just a way to cope with stress and seek inner peace. Many believe that it is a powerful tool that has the potential to literally transform the world, especially when done collectively and on a massive scale. They also believe that the human brain is a powerful transmitter capable of sending out thought waves that can influence all those around us. The premise is that the thoughts of peace in the world can significantly reduce global violence when done consistently and collectively! Think of peace daily. BECOME the change you want to see in the world."

Source : http://internationaldayofpeace.org/

The following is a beauttiful meditation offered by atrist, and musician,  Anne Milligan.

 

Contributed by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Mandala by ~liz

Days: 261-262 For Love

For Love of the World
~by Charlotte Tall Mountain

For the love of a tree, 
she went out on a limb.

For the love of the sea, 
she rocked the boat.

For the love of the earth, 
she dug deeper.

For the love of community, 
she mended fences.

For the love of the stars, 
she let her light shine.

For the love of spirit, 
she nurtured her soul.

For the love of a good time,
she sowed seeds of happiness.

For the love of the Goddess,
she drew down the moon.

 

For the love of nature, 
she made compost.

For the love of a good meal, 

she gave thanks.

For the love of family,
she reconciled differences.

For the love of creativity,
she entertained new possibilities.

For the love of her enemies,
she suspended judgment.

For the love of herself,
she acknowledged her worth.

And the world was richer for her.

 

Contributed by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Mandala watercolor by ~liz

Days 256-260 - Eleanor's Insights

"Do something each day that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt

   The Roosevelt's changed everything in America - and the world. You can learn more about the impact of three of them if you are wise enough to tune into Ken Burns' series "The Roosevelts" running all this week on PBS.

   Each of the three was courageous enough to take chances. That is how you benefit others - by moving out of your comfort zone to do things that may scare you - but will help others.

   My younger sister, Martha, does that every day. She regularly leaves the comfort zone of her retirement to help autistic children through the charity, Agility Angels. She also volunteers at the Furniture Ministry sponsored by her church. Maybe (but not likely) it even took a little courage for her to stand next to her big, football playing grand nephew!

   Martha does not volunteer because it is easy. She makes hard choices because she is a woman of compassion. 

   Loving caregivers do this. The way we know their choices can be scary is because of how the rest of the world reacts to caregiving.

   Every hospice nurse, neonatal intensive care doctor and charity worker has heard friends say, "I could never do what you do." The implication may be that these people think they are too sensitive to do what the caregiver is doing. Yet, it is the sensitivity & courage of caregivers that enables Radical Loving Care in this world.

   Listen to Eleanor. Do something that scares you today & find yourself becoming more alive - & more in love with life. 

-Erie Chapman

Days 259-260 We May Be Sure

Whatever happens in my life

I must believe that somewhere,

in the mess and madness of it all,

there is a sacred potential-

a possibility for wondrous redemption

in the embracing of all that is.

For in the unfolding of my journey,

in all its soaring delight

and crushing pain,

I may be sure that God is there-

always ahead, behind, below and above,

encompassing all that befalls me

in a circle of deep compassion.

And there, above the darkness

that wraps me round

the bright wings of the dove

hover and bear

in gentle healing love

and invitation to 

New Rising.

~By Edwina Gateley

Contributed by Liz Sorensen Wessel

Mandala by ~liz

 

Days 254-258 - Being "Different"

   A friend of mine was startled by what he found in his elementary school records. In third grade he was classified as "Disabled/Handicapped" & in need of "Special Education."

   Then he discovered that his IQ had been measured at 135 and he was listed as "Gifted." But, the school put him into remedial classes that included modules on "making paper airplanes." 

   He overcame this treatment to become a brilliant musician. He also teaches others including those whose gifts he is uniquely able to nurture. 

   What does society do with those of us who are "different?" Who determines the "norm" from which the rest of us are excluded?

   Across history the brilliant have often been punished. The disabled routinely suffer discrimination.

   Among the worst consequences come when brilliant people exhibit behavior that tosses them into some DSM 5 category of mental illness. Accordingly, they are pummeled, counseled & drugged out of their genius so that their "rough edges" can be honed to common taste. 

   The status quo is established & enforced by the majority. This is the group that Harry Potter's wizards think of as "Muggles." The Muggles are legion, the wizards are a distinct minority.  

   Occasionally, of course, the talented are rewarded, their uniqueness celebrated as life-changing. Many wizards suffered terribly as children, defined away from the norm by those uncomfortable with anyone who (like Robin Williams) is different.

   One of the strangest phenomena is the way we fight to conform as teenagers. Later we must break from that norm to accomplish anything "new."

   It takes astonishing persistence to achieve in a world that hates change & will only acknowledge success when "experts" affirm it. Would you really know The Mona Lisa was a masterpiece without expert confirmation? Why didn't the 19th century art world appreciate the brilliance of the Impressionists?

   Even the image I made of an audience (above) would make many uncomfortable. Why not take a "nomal" picture?

   When I came home from law school with a Martin Luther King "I Have a Dream" sticker on the bumper of my 1966 Mustang my father told me to remove it. "King is a radical," my dad said. When I refused saying he was a great man my father said, "Great men don't break the law."

   The opposite is true. The suffragettes routinely violated laws. How many rules did Jesus break? How often was Ghandi imprisoned?

   For every "different" person who persists to success their are tens of millions who suffer the calumny of the world because they are defined as abnormal. 

   It is hard to train caregivers not to discriminate against the drunk "Frequent Fliers" who stagger into our emergency rooms or the "Screamers" who, disoriented by drugs or dementia, cry out from our hospital rooms to tormenting ghosts.

   Amid a society that sorts by harsh standards some triumph. Only love offers compassion & help to those who suffer right now amid the shadows of bias. 

-Erie Chapman   

Days 252-253 Essence

 “When your absence is felt, your presence is the essence and it makes a difference.” -Michael Bassey Johnson

It seems that a person’s true essence crystalizes at the end of one’s life. We see more clearly, threads woven in each others lives to create unique and intricate designs. As our lives cross we may not realize the significance of our touch upon one another, however brief or extended our encounters.

A person may leave but their essence lingers with us. I have witnessed a curious phenomenon that can happen after someone we love dies. Sometimes those who remain begin to display mannerisms, behaviors, sayings and even actions of that person.

Perhaps, this occurs because their love lives on within us.  It may be one way we fill the void and remember them in our being.

It evolved almost imperceptibly. He became the caregiver that his mom had been. He is no longer living for himself. Woody, generously gives his time and energy doing helpful deeds for others.

My brother recently commented to me, I’ve become just like dad”, and I've noticed this rings true more and more over time.

I spent many an hour at her bedside. As I stroked her forehead I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked. As she lay in that in between stage of leave taking,  she was no longer responsive. I leaned in close to her ear and said, “Mom it is going to be so beautiful in paradise and you are going to be so happy and filled with joy.” I was so surprised when she laughed with joy. I continued, “Mom paradise is beautiful and you are so happy and joyful.” Again, she laughed and affirmed this vision; a moment I will carry with me.

We are inextricably connected in ways that surpasses our understanding, for we are bound by Love. Living in the physical realm we can easily forget and perceive ourselves as separate. This leads to loneliness and a deep longing to return to wholeness. At times the veil lifts and we see ourselves in each other’s eyes; we see through our Beloved's eyes.

“The essence of any creature encompasses more than one realm. Here now this body is a vehicle of our essence in this universe.” –Toba Beta

My mother's leave taking has left me  icreasingly aware and valuing relationships and the people who intersect my universe. My priorities are shifting and the busyness that seemed so important, is less so.

My only hope is that my mother’s radiant essence lives on in me.

Liz Sorensen Wessel

Photo of my mom, taken by my dad; Elizabeth (Lee) Sorensen February 17, 1916---August 20^th 2014 

Days 247-251 - Invisibility

   No one has written more powerfully about becoming invisible, a walking ghost, then Ralph Ellison. In Invisible Man his angry protagonist says, “I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me."

   The marginalized millions of the world understand. They live lives of being ignored to the point of not being seen at all.

   Among this group are the legions of people who have become invisible because of their apparel. Put on a prison uniform, a patient gown or shabby clothes. That is all it takes to blind the majority to your existence.

   The author of a recent magazine article tells of her experience in a store she regularly patronizes. Having forgotten something she re-approached the cashier. The woman had forgotten her.

   "Perhaps, because of my age I am now invisible," the woman wrote. This was happening, she believes, because she was old and thus irrelevant. She also wrote that this experience was teaching her that she no longer needed to be a high achiever. Living an "ordinary life" was becoming appealing.

   The famous know this phenomenon. They seek notoriety & then long for invisibility in their everday lives.

   Where is the happy medium? We cannot find it by keying our self worth to other's opinions. Yet, we still need some affirmation that we exist.

   In short, we need to love and feel loved.

   Jesus showed us a way by how he honored the ignored ones. The medium, happy or not, lives on this branch of Love's tree.

   As Ellison writes, “Who knows but that, on the lower frequencies, I speak for you?” 

   Perhaps, this voice also speaks for the highest beauty of all - the beauty that is invisible to the eye. 

-Rev. Erie Chapman

Two other transcendent quotes by Ellison:

What and how much had I lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what I myself had wished to do?

Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by continuing to play in face of certain defeat.

 Photograph by Erie Chapman