In recent weeks since my mom’s death I have been honoring her memory by contacting relatives and friends to say hello and to reminisce a little. I have found these conversations to be of great solace.
I recognize the necessity of grieving in quiet reflection, in the company of friends and family, and in the affirmation of love.
The world continues to spin but something inside me has had to stop, pay attention and walk gently.
Yet the daily demands are relentless and grief herself is quite fatiguing, especially when she decides she must visit in the night.
In the stillness, of this in between space, a veil lifts in the dark of night, shining clear constellations of Light, sparkling hints of our connectedness to cast out loneliness.
In the midst of sorrow, I am buoyed by the generosity of Love’s expansive nature.
Yesterday, a colleague stopped by and in a moment of vulnerability. She recounted how she was watching a TV western the previous night and a song she heard, reminded her of her father. Suddenly, a wave of grief filled emotion hit her without warning, even though it has been two years since he died. The intimacy of sharing creates connection and deepening friendships.
A dear friend recently lost her mom and revealed that she had received a beautiful visitation from her in a vivid dream. She let her mom know just how much she loved her and then experienced an overflowing sense of happiness.
Yesterday, a kind co-worker gave me a mass card in which, my mom will be remembered in prayer.
Today, a collea gue surpised and brightened my day with a peace lily to remember my mother.
Recently, I made contact with cousins on my dad's (mother) Swedish side of our family. I have not seen my cousin or his wife since I was little but I needed to inform them of my mom’s passing. Their expression of love, through stories, photos and family history has flooded my heart.
My cousin’s wife told me that she used to hold me and did not want to put me down and she liked to read stories to me. The care in which they both have carefully labeled photos paired with fascinating tidbits of family quirkiness is a gift beyond measure. You see my grandmother, Svea died long before I was born, as well as my grandfather, Emil. I am completely overcome by the love they have bestowed upon me. The following is an excerpt from one of their e-mail correspondences.
“I have heard it said that on their death beds people never think to themselves how much they wish they had earned higher grades in school or made more money or did more travel. It is family connections that are the important things and the comfort that we have done as much as we could have done for others that come through in our old age. When we reach out and share our lives with other people, those people will be more inclined in their lives to reach out to others as well. It is passing along a good trait and a good method to make our lives worthwhile. Can anything top time spent? It is so much better than material things purchased and given. Those can be lovely but do they ever mean as much to us as caring notes written and sent, hugs given, laughs shared? Those are the real value commodities we can give that mean the very most. It is not something that can be taught to others. But, by the grace of God, it in one of the most valuable gifts we are ever granted.”
Much love dearest cousin…
I know my parents would be really tickled to know that we have reconnected.
Contributed by ~Liz Sorensen Wessel
Photos I received from my cousins, the first is Trollhatten Sweden and the second is my grandmother, Svea as a young teenager.
