Parishioner, Steve Smith accepted an invitation to give the Sunday morning homily at our church. The story he told provided a powerful allegory. It seems that a few years ago Steve’s brother gave him an unbelievable gift. He received a rare and exceedingly expensive, 100 year old bottle of French wine. Steve decided to save his exquisite gift for a very special occasion; his upcoming 25th wedding anniversary.
For two years, Steve nurtured his cherished bottle of wine. He lovingly tended it like a garden, rotating it a quarter turn each day and monitoring it diligently to keep it at just the right temperature. When the day finally arrived, the couple prepared a special anniversary dinner. Father Peter, who had married the pair, and his wife were invited to share in their celebration. At the long awaited moment, Steve uncorked the wine only to find the wine had spoiled! Can you imagine Steve’s incredible disappointment when he had to throw it all away?
However difficult the moment turned out to be, Steve described it as a “God thing.” He suddenly realized that the wine was similar to his life.The bottle holds no value of it’s own. Precious is what is inside; it is us. The part of us that longs for communion with the Divine. Perhaps, we can't name the unfathomable but it seems that we all have a deep longing for union with our Creator. Often we seek to fill the hole in shallow, unfulfilling ways. We may try to numb ourselves or gloss over feelings of despair with various remedies.
Steve offers this insight, that when he feels separate from God it is because he is mad at God. Mad because of all the terrible things that happen in this world. How could God allow such things to unfold? Tragic events are hard to comprehend. Natural disasters, illnesses, accidents, or ethnic cleansing, (what an odd term for malevolent genocide) as occurred in the holocaust, Rwanda, Croatia, Armenia, and sadly continues on and on. I appreciate Steve’s honesty and his courage to give voice to doubt and to the age old question of God's role in human suffering.
I guess, I see things a little differently. If God intervenes in our lives to do good, then it stands to reason God has the power to control and prevent tragedies. If a natural disaster occurs and a loved one is spared from almost certain death, we see a miracle. Yet, what about the person who perishes? Was it because God deemed them less worthy to live? I don't think so.
I think random things happen and we humans are fragile in this ever changing, living universe. I don’t believe God intervenes by loving some, or penalizing others. More, that the energy of God’s love is unconditional, expansive, and all forgiving. The God I seek does not give bad things to punish me but rather is there to offer comfort and peace and to carry me in difficult times. I try to make time each day to sit and listen quietly for God's wisdom and guidance. My prayers are less about asking God to give me/you this (as much as I might wish) or for God to change that. Rather, that I/you might awaken in Grace to find the courage to Be of Love. Perhaps then, the hole in our soul might open into the Light of Love. My prayer is to release fear, yet I know this cannot happen without an us. May we forgive our seemingly unbecoming frailty, which need only be accepted to transform into Beauty.
There’s a hole in my soul. Steve’s words penetrated my denial and a veil lifted. Disarmed of my defenses, I clearly saw the many ways I try to fill my emptiness with substitutes. I saw my agenda, my self centered neediness without any judgment or condemnation. What is real can never be lost. I was touched by something real and for a moment, I was home.
~liz Sorensen Wessel
Please note: This essay is a reflection of my own perceptions and interpretations of a small part of Steve's homily. It can not be considered an accurate recounting of the wisdom he shared that day.
