While walking through autumn, I came across a lone leaf caught at the intersection of two vines. Though moribund, it remained gorgeous in its yellow-green skin and serrated edges. Then, I saw how it had begun to turn in upon itself.
Leaves connected to their mother tree remain vibrant so long as the core of their being breathes the sun and drinks the rains of the warmer seasons. As they die into autumn, they turn inward, dry out, and gradually lose their color.
Over forty years, I have watched many caregivers turn so far in upon themselves that their spirits seem to have died in the midst of their work. They continue going through the motions each day but the energy they felt on their first day of work has ebbed.
Why do so many caregivers seal off their hearts? I believe that leaders often carry a heavy part of the responsibility. By instilling fear, by blocking innovation, by failing to nurture, poor leaders begin to force their fellow caregivers to turn inward, thus killing incentive and damaging patient care.
Caregivers may also turn inward out of sheer fatigue, out of disappointment, or out of the discovery that they have chosen the wrong career path and can't think how to escape. This "turning in" is a way some caregivers turn their backs against the storms their work life can bring.
There are cures for this malady. Rest, retreat, a way to re-think our work-lives can all be rejuvenating. The weight of a bad boss can sometimes be lifted, occassionally (although all too rarely) by a new, high-level leader who removes the problem supervisor.
Abused caregivers may also find a new way to encounter a person cast as an enemy. For example, caregivers can choose to take back their right to decide how they feel rather than ceding that decision to a bad boss.
Though it seems far away now, spring, of course, awaits. In the meantime, perhaps we may all discover something new in the falling leaves of autumn, in the still nights of the winter to come.
Love thrives across all seasons. Sometimes when Love's energy seems farthest away, it is near. For Love is always present. All we need is the courage to turn open our hearts to welcome her.
-Reverend Erie Chapman
