Journal of Sacred Work

Days 121-122 The Divine Mystery in Caregiving

"I want to free what waits within me/ so that what no one has dared to wish for/ may for once spring clear/ without my contriving." -Rainer Maria Rilke

   Perhaps the most significant aspect of caregiving appear to us as a divine mystery. Because God is always present, we have the chance to experience this kind of mystery without understanding it in an academic way.

   Radical Loving Care is difficult to communicate because it's highest form truly lives beyond our analysis. Nevertheless, when we experience it, we often try to explain the inexplicable.

   The goal of this work is to bring us into the presence of God's Love so that we may be more healing to others. As we do this, we may engage the mystery of God's grace in helping others in ways that may surprise us.

   Every caregiver knows of the experience of a patient who seems to improve in ways that science cannot explain. Radical Loving Care exceeds even these events. For healing may occur in the absence of curing.

   Still, it is important to recall that Jesus came to save our souls, not our bodies. His grace was so great, of course, that he could not help healing bodies as well.

   Patients (and caregivers) may feel a sense of grace even as treatment fails and a patient becomes terminal. Caregivers who give up when cure fails are stopping their journey before it is complete. Caregivers who continue to walk beside terminal patients as long as possible draw even closer to the experience of the Divine.

   As I have mentioned, encounters with the Divine are outside our understanding. Why, then even address them?

   In Radical Loving Care, it is crucial to recognize and appreciate experiences that exceed our understanding. The Divine mystery reminds us that we, as humans, lack God's power. At best, we, as children of Love, become vehicles of Love, not creators of this energy.

   Appreciation and understanding of the three commandments of Love, the four relationships, and the seven energies does not lead us to a rote prescription. Instead, the practice and engagement of these energies allows us, as God's children, to do the most we can with the positive energies that flow through the world.

   As we engage the power of Radical Loving Care, we come to know that we are listening to the highest level of our calling. In so doing, Love flows through us, through the patients we care for, and through those with whom we work.

   True Lovers, both the famous mentioned herein, and the saints among us, often seem to occupy some other, higher consciousness. This is because they feel the presence of the Divine as something beyond themselves. Their work becomes sacred; their mission, holy. In the midst of all of this, they know not to take themselves too seriously because it is not they who have become holy. It is the light traveling through.

   Our engagement and marriage to Radical Loving Care allows us to live what Rilke describes - "to free what waits within" us. It is Love which waits within. It is the practice of loving care which frees this energy "without our contriving."

   We now know, if it wasn't already clear, that the best caregivers approach their calling as a spiritual experience. This is the energy, wisdom and grace that comes from living Love through Radical Loving Care. It is the understanding of the insight of poet Emily Dickinson: "That Love is all there is/ Is all we know of love."

   I am often asked by hospital and hospice leaders how to do Radical Loving Care so a regular hospital or hospice can be transformed into a healing hospital or hospice. My book, Sacred Work, describes some steps.

   But, the path to a Healing Hospital through Radical Loving Care has so much more to do with a change of heart than a "to-do" list. When our hearts change, the steps to execute change become more and more clear.

   I once heard the late, great, Norman Cousins (author of the book, Anatomy of an Illness) deliver a speech. His last line to us was, "We're all so much stronger than we think we are."

   Whenever we follow Love's path, we achieve something even greater than strength. We touch the hem of God.

-Rev. Erie Chapman 

Days 118-120 Caregiving & the Role of Art

  "All great art is a visual form of prayer."
   -Sister Wendy Beckett 

   Great art is always an expression of Love. This is true regardless of the subject. And this means artistic expression. Art appreciation always enhances a caregivers ability to serve others because it opens our sacred eyes.

   It requires training, skill and sensitivity to appreciate art as well as create it. The same is true of caregiving.

   Mozart said that his enormous gifts of music all came through him because his listened for them not because he personally made them. "Love, love, love, that is the sole of music," he wrote.

   Renoir painted his nudes (above) not to show us a naked woman but to show us Love. Michelangelo sculpted "The David" not to reveal a naked man but to reflect the beauty of God's creation. Accordingly, people who see such nudes as "disgraceful" and are unable to distinguish them from pornography are failing to appreciate art (beauty.) They have miissed the difference between Love and fear. The difference between pornography and art is something like the difference between a fly and a butterfly (although a fly can also be presented as beautiful.) But, these deep distinctions are lost on those who apply judgment with knee-jerk insensibility.

   Similarly, those who see compassionate behavior by a nurse as "inefficient" (a frequent mistake made by supervisors in hospitals) have failed to recognize the healing power of kindness and Love. As the great Harvard physician and medical writer Dr. Arnold Relman has written, "People can be made to feel better by many things, including sympathy and kindness." 

   Liz Wessel, a regular contributor to the Journal, trained as a nurse. She is a caregiver who creates loving caregiving. She also creates beautiful art through mandalas that help other caregivers appreciate the beauty all of us need to see in order to be loving caregivers.

   Consider the wisdom of the great American author, Theodore Dreiser: "Art is the stored honey of the human soul, gathered on wings of misery and travail."

   I have made my own efforts with poetry, film-making, music and photographs in ways that have sometimes been successful, sometimes failures and sometimes even controversial. Each effort helps me appreciate beauty and simultaneously enhances my ability to understand caregiving.

 

   "Yes, art is dangerous," Picasso wrote. "Where it is safe, it is not art."

   As we learn to appreciate art (sometimes through creating it) we discover our sensitivity to the needs of others. And we simultaneously come to appreciate the art of caregiving.

   Love inspires great art. May Love inspire your heart and guide your hands as to reach out to meet the needs of others.

-Rev. Erie Chapman  

Painting - Renoir, "Nude in Sunlight" (1875)

Photo - Dane Dakota - "Amy Study #3"

Days 116-117 God's Love & Human Rules

"I think of compassion as the fundamental religious experience and, unless that is there, you have nothing." - Joseph Campbell, world-renowned philosopher; author,The Power of Myth

   As a law student, I learned the principles and rules of western justice. As a divinity school student many years later, I learned spiritual principles that supercede the law. When I hear leaders focused more on liability than on Love, I worry for the welfare of both patients and caregivers.

    When do human-made laws compete with spiritual principles?

   Easy examples abound. Segregation laws were spread across the statute books of the southern United States for decades. Martin Luther King, Jr. broke these laws because he was listening to God's Love. Gandhi violated bigotry driven laws established in India by the British in order to honor the laws of true humanity. Jesus violated Roman law in favor of God's law.

   Caregivers often need to break the rules to honor Love's principles.

   Real life examples of this are as common as everyday life in a hospital. It may be as simple as a nurse who allows a beloved friend to violate the end of visiting hours to stay with a dying patient.

   Or it may be as remarkable as this true story: A nurse I know woke up one evening writhing in pain. Her agony spread head to toe and included both chest pressure and a blinding headache. Her husband rushed her to a Nashville hospital.

   As he drove up to the Emergency Room door, he slammed on the brakes and dashed in to seek help. "My wife is a nurse and she thinks she's dying. Please, come quickly."

   A nurse grabbed a wheelchair and headed for the car. "Stop," a supervisor shouted, "no wheelchairs outside the door. That's the rule."

   Dumbfounded, the duo of nurse and husband were frozen for a moment in the presence of the supervisor's command. Fortunately, the nurse then chose to listen to the voice of Love. 

   "I don't care what the rule says," the nurse said. "I'm going to go help that patient." She pushed the wheelchair out the door and brought her Love to meet the need of a person in deep pain.

   It is not always easy for us to discern the role of Love in the presence of human-made laws. In fact, Love often calls us to stick to the rules. Pausing a moment to clean our hands on the way to an emergency may be wiser that ignoring such a step in the midst of our desire to serve immediately. Violating such a rule may result in more harm than healing.

   Loving caregivers seem to know when to go beyond the rules to serve. A housekeeper puts down her mop to hold the hand of a screaming patient. A neonatal intensive care nurse may devote precious time to stroking the back of a dying baby who is beyond curing. In so doing, she chooses healing when curing is no longer possible.

   Loving caregivers stand out from the rest by their courageous willingness to meet the needs of others. This is what lived in the heart of the Good Samaritan. This Love is available to guide us all.

-Erie Chapman

(Statue of Good Samaritan by Francois-Leon Sicard)

Days 114-115 But… Do You Love Me?

In this Easter season, memories of my late mother-in-law, Helen Wessel come to life. Helen was a unifying presence in our family until her death in 1997. While Woody and I raised our two sons, Helen was there for us like no other, offering consistent loving support. She adored her grandsons and they loved their grandma. As Erie often points out, this is not to say she lived a perfect life without any faults. No, she lived a very human life. However, I can truly say that during the 16 years I knew her, she loved her life away. Hers was a selfless love that transmuted into pure gold.

Helen and Pop had a large garden filled with vegetables and fruit they planted and harvested for table. They hosted family dinners where everyone was welcome and there was always room for one more. I consider myself very fortunate to have had a good relationship with my mother-in-law because not all my friends could say the same. I loved Helen and I watched closely to learn from her wisdom, so that someday I too could be a great mother-in-law, just like her.

Helen suffered with severe arthritic pain that gnawed at her constantly. Her limbs were stiff and did not always cooperate so she a used a walker. Still, she persevered and made continual efforts to be of service to others. Helen worked tirelessly her whole life. She was a crossing guard at the elementary school, volunteered at school and was very active at church for many years. After mass, Helen would take  Holy Communion to her home bound friends (who were actually less debilitated than she was.) Helen was a devout Catholic. She never preached, instead she was a person of loving action or as St. Francis of Assisi taught “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”

At mass during this Easter season, I have listened to scripture readings about Jesus’ resurrection and His subsequent appearances. Initially, Mary Magdalene did not recognize him in the garden,  nor did his disciples. 

Painting, “Supper at Emmaus,” by Danish Artist Carl H. Block 1834-1890

It was spiritually significant to me that Helen died three days after Easter. “On the third day he arose again.” I deeply mourned her passing. I had always appreciated Helen but it was not until her death that I suddenly recognized who she really was; Christ. I could not believe that I had not seen her true essence. This realization hit me hard and I wondered how could I have been so blind?  
Mary Magdalene the very moment she recognizes Jesus, anonymous artist.

This leads me to wonder what it is about time that lulls us into taking our lives, and the people in it, for granted. Perhaps, it is because we are moving so fast that the challenges of the day-to-day take precedence and can overwhelm us. I think of people close to me, who consistently offer support in kind and understated ways. Yet, when distracted I risk missing the significance of these loving gestures and the many blessings I receive.

In Sunday’s gospel reading, Jesus asks his disciple Peter a question, “ Peter, do you love me?”  Here He is referring to agape love (Greek, meaning unconditional love.) "Yes", Peter responds, " I love you." (philia, Greek, meaning brotherly love.) Yet, Jesus continues to ask three times because Peter misses the important distinction. I am not a theologian, but the number three seems to hold spiritual significance throughout scripture.  For example, the Holy Trinity and "For where two or three are gathered in My name, there Am I in the midst of them."

Whether religious or not, I  believe that there are three primary questions to consider when encountering another person:

1.  Do you hear me?

Am I really listening…or am I distracted and preoccupied with my own thoughts? As caregivers to one another the most precious gift we can offer is our full listening presence.

Nasa, The following three photos were shared by Tatjana-Mihaela. (Click on photo to enlarge images)

2. Do you know me?

Is my heart open to see the real essence of person in front of me? Do I superficially judge and exclude others based on labels that objectify and dehumanize? Are my perceptions fear-based? Can I see the goodness that is in you; that spark of Divine light within your soul?
Nasa Photo

3. Do you Love me?

It matters not if you and I are worthy. What matters is that we love and however imperfectly, I do Love you.   
 

 ~Liz Sorensen Wessel

Days 111-113 - Epiphany

"Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" - words of Jesus spoken to the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus (Acts of the Apostles, verse 9.)

   Enter a time machine for a moment and imagine yourself a contemporary and friend of Saul's before he became Paul. You, Saul, and others spend your days tracking down and persecuting Christians. You torture every Christian you capture and think of yourself as successful. You and your friends hurl epithets at your prisoners and deride them for their foolish beliefs.

   One day, Saul comes to you a changed man. "I have heard the voice of Jesus," he tells you..You mock him. But, soon, you discover that Saul has become Paul and is now passionate about his new faith. Those he tortured he now sees a martyrs. Paul has become a Christian.

   The conversion experience that turned Saul, a persecutor of Christians, into Paul, among the greatest champions of Christianity, has inspired hundreds of millions since it appeared in the New Testament of the Christian Bible.

   It may seem strange to imagine that such an experience might come into our lives. The truth is, transformational experiences are common among many, though most are quiet and far less dramatic. We may not hear the voice of God. But, we may hear other voices within that tell us we need to change our lives.

   Where attention goes, energy flows. This is one of the two or three most important sentences in my life and I hope it will become so for yours. When our attention heads toward bitterness, energy and a feeling of desolation, we can begin to change this by remember that God is always present, even especially in our darkest hours.

   In order to live Love, most of us, as caregivers, need to experience some kind of epiphany. Otherwise, we may remain stuck living in some of our most negative patterns. Further, we will not be able to resist the seduction of the status quo. To enter a life of living Love continuously and consistently, we need a turning point that will bring us face to face with a choice to transform, or to stay the same.

   The world has taught us how to be selfish. In fact, the body we occupy in this world seeks patterns of comfort that may be inconsistent with Love. God's Love informs us of the need to serve others in deeper ways.

   Sometimes, transformation takes years of effort combined with a series of transformations of lower magnitude. Sometime, it takes a jolt as strong as Paul received for us to change life-long behavior patterns. 

   Epiphany may arrive amid a sudden, traumatic event. Following a death, or over severe and sudden loss, we may experience a "death" of our old way of looking at and living in the world.

   In these moments, sometimes when we least anticipate it, comes a moment of deep epiphany, a time when God's Love appears clearly and powerfully in our lives. Loss can lead to bitterness. Or we may find a sudden change can lead to the richest kind of joy.

   Epiphany can be experienced as sudden flood of unique energy. In this wake, we may discover a whole new consciousness. 

   I have experienced two of these moments that I can identify. The first happened when I was four. The second happened fifty years later. I had no idea how to act. After the second, I enrolled in divinity school and graduated. Still, I find myself struggling to follow up on and live out what I know to be true. Love is the only way, yet I allow myself endless diversions.

   I know of those who have experienced near death. These traumatic events, in which some feel a great blaze of light or (less often reported) a frightening darkness. The occurrence always changes the person for the rest of their lives.

   The importance of these moments is not only that God appears to us, but whether we are able to follow up - to integrate and sustain this new knowing through our life actions. It is all too easy to marvel at the experience, decide we are going to commit to Love's path and then slide back into our comfortable old patterns.

   To hope for an epiphany, and decide the pathway is to do nothing but wait, is to mistake the nature of such an experience. Out human will, combined with loving service in the world, will always move us closer to Love's light. 

   Moments of epiphany are precious. We increase our chances by forgetting our selfish desires and letting the doors to our hearts fall open. Then, like Elijah, or like Saul, we may one day here the voice of God's Love more clearly than ever before.

   Our epiphany may come through something ordinary, the discovery of beauty in the appearance of leaves in spring or their departure in the fall, the birth of a baby, the death of a friend, the discovery of a new and gorgeous love, all events that prove to us that God has present all along. Or it may come with no apparent provocation. The event simply allows us to glimpse God's light.

  Because of the nature of our human weakness, we are likely to block Love from our hearts. We may think of Love as calling for sacrifices we don't wish to make.

   In fact, Love enables us to endure sacrifice in the service of others. Suddenly, what seemed like sacrifice becomes joy. But, this is often unclear to us beforehand.

   Engaging the seven energies of Radical Loving Care is certain to change our lives for the better. However, we are will not engage these energies in a meaningful way until we experience the power of our own epiphany (or, sometimes, epiphanies.) 

   As we begin to live Love using these energies, a day will come when the doors to the richest rooms of our heart tilt open. Out spills the Love that was always within.

   It is then that we need to use our worldly energy to guide Loves practice into our everyday behavior. Epiphanies are times of discovery and learning.

   Absent the conscious integration of Love's learning into our lives, Love's power eases and we fall back into worldly patterns. This is because we thought Love would work through us by itself. We forget that we must continue to nurse the growth of spiritual Love into a sullied world.

   Love does not force itself upon us. It flows where it is received. It is seen with our sacred eyes. It is heard with our innermost ears. It is practices with hands informed by its grace.

   To live in our world, our garden of Love requires constant tending with the seven energies. And this is what the apostle Paul did as he roamed from the Holy Land into ancient Greece and Italy preaching Love in the face of persecution. 

   Love's epiphanies, gradual or sudden, lead us to the "living water." This is the only water that can satisfy our spiritual thirst.

   Coming, as it does, from beyond the world, Love is not measured in units. No caregiver has to think, "I only have four units of Love to dispense today so I'd better save them." The more Love is shared, the more we find is there.

   The gift God offers us is endless. What matters during our worldly journey is our human ability to receive and use the gift and to rest and replenish our bodies periodically so we can continue as vehicles for Love's expression.

   Are we open to receiving and using this gift? We will know Love is passing through us when we find we are unable to keep it to ourselves. 

   Saul was an ordinary person. Paul is one of the great, saintly figures of human history. What happened?

   For Saul, Love was a foolish idea. God had lots of boundaries. Life was a set of transactions.  

   Paul discovered Love knows no boundaries. The same man became a different person because he allowed God's voice to change him. Love flows wherever hearts are open. And it flowed into his.

   Can our hearts be as open as Paul's? Will we choose to live our one and only life in a new a richer way?

   Where attention goes, energy flows.

-Rev. Erie Chapman 

Days 109-110 - Our Universal Achilles Heel

   As we engage the seven energies, the path to Love will zig zag in ways that often seem dizzying. One moment, we may feel we have made enormous progress. In the next, we may find ourselves so far off balance we may think we'll never recover.

   This is the power in the ancient Greek myth of Achilles. The myth is over three thousand years old. And yet we know of it today (Achilles heel) as told by the poet Homer through the Illiad, a book he wrote somewhere around 700 B.C.E, hundreds of years after the story first emerged.

   The Illiad describes the story of Achilles, the greatest warrior of mythology. Achilles possessed strength,honor, skill, bravery and pride. In fact, he seemed unbeatable in battle because, in most ways, he was.

   Shortly after his birth, Achilles' mother, Thetis, in an effort to make her son invulnerable dipped him in the river Styx. This provided Achilles with a shield protecting him from any assault.

   But, Thetis made a fatal mistake. When she dipped her son in the magic water, Thetis held him by his heel, leaving this part of Achilles unprotected (print, above, by Honore Daumier 1808-1879.) This is, of course, how he finally met his doom, shot during battle in his exposed heel by an arrow from his enemy, Paris.  

   All myth is metaphor. In these metaphors lie truths for all caregivers.

   In our efforts to lionize extraordinary people, we forget that the greatest of saints and leaders have their Achilles heels. There are no exceptions.

   This means, we can't use the weakness and failures of others, or of ourselves, as excuses to give up upon our Loving journey. The story of Achilles describes outer armor. The story of Love describes the power and energy we cultivate within.

   The myth of Achilles helps us understand why Mother Theresa had periods when she doubted God; why Martin Luther King cheated on his wife; why Abraham Lincoln fell victim to depression; why Helen Keller could be accused of pettiness and plagiarism; why Gandhi often lost his temper with his wife and his followers; why Victor Frankl was angry and impatient with those who disagreed with him; why even Jesus displayed his own Achilles heel as he questioned God from the cross.

   We can look at the moments of failure by each of these saintly people and discern that their actions were wrong. It is the next step that can be treacherous. It comes when we decide that, because of these actions, these people are evil.

   Why do we insist on superimposing perfection onto our fellow humans and then express shock when the objects of our admiration show human flaws? Love distinguishes between actions and the person. Actions may be wrong. This does not mean that the person is "bad." Instead, we, even the worst-acting among us, are children of God.

   Mistakes tell us we are human. They are not occasions for shaming. Shame is the product of fear.  

   Loves forgives. Fear breeds a toxic bitterness that poisons our lives so long as we hold it. 

   The best we can expect from humans, and from ourselves, is that we strive to live Love and simultaneously recognize that both we and others have our human Achilles heel.

  Can we still appreciate the gifts of Thomas Jefferson after we learn of his affair with one of his slaves? Can we continue to recognize the talents of a Tiger Woods (and numerous other star athletes, politicians and countless stars) after discovering his serial affairs? Can we yet suspend our finger-wagging to appreciate the genuine contributions of leaders in spite of their failiings?

   Consider, further, our past leaders and the weaknesses that attend every one of their lives, For example consider Presidents Franklin Roosevelt (affairs), Kennedy (affairs), Nixon (lying and stealing), George W. Bush (early alcoholism and drug abuse, and Barack Obama (early use of cocaine.)

   In the light of the failings of these titanic figures, can we as caregivers assume we are better? Who among us wants to be shamed for errors we have made? Instead, we can take responsibility and learn to understand the difference between "sin and sinner."

   The story of Achilles is the story of superhuman performance and human weakness. We can make personal decisions and be accountable for our failures. Our mistakes can illuminate a brighter path - especially if we accept them not as excuses, but as explanations.

   The stories of heroes and saints teach us to live not with shame, but with courageous responsibility. Love teaches us one of life's hardest lessons - how to choose Love which does not pass judgment on others, or on ourselves, as failiures occur and our Achilles heels are exposed.

   Love calls us to open and enrich our inner strength. Through Love's mirror, we can see how we, as caregivers, can best serve, not how we can best criticize the efforts of others.

   Through Love's mirror, we see more deeply how to follow the path of Radical Loving Care.

-Erie Chapman  

Days 107-108 What Language Would Love to Be

This reflection is dedicated in loving memory of my brother John Edward Sorensen, a gentle kind soul who dances with light, born on April 17th.

“Music is what language would love to be if it could, you know?” John O’ Donohue

What is it about music that is so difficult to define in words? Music’s fluid nature flows through and around barriers to touch the core of our being. Music bypasses intellect and arrows straight for the heart. Yet, language seems inadequate to capture the essence and fullness of our experience. Music opens us to beauty. A beauty that can manifest as the sweetest joy or soul’s deepest longing. Music has infinite possibilities, it blends and changes to create a wide spectrum of meaning with diverse interpretations.

  I attended a 50^th birthday celebration for a good friend.  A Mariachi band played lively tunes. Bold trumpets bellowed in a crescendo of laughter that overflowed throughout the hall and onto the street. Before long, anticipatory excitement could no longer be contained; one after another, people jumped up and began to dance. Later, that evening, the mood shifted as the musicians serenaded us with Herb Alpert’s song, “Spanish Eyes.”  Tears flowed as I remembered how much my dad had loved that song. Ah, music is such a universal and integral part of human life. It can ground us in the moment, revitalize traditions, herald momentous occasions, and enhances sacred ceremonies and rituals. Music influences mood, creates nostalgia, adds gorgeous color to life, awakens our imagination, and fuses love's passion.

 Yes, music does have this crazy power to energize us. It may begin with a subtle, involuntary tapping of the toes. Next, the body begins to gently rock and fingers begin to snapping to the beat. Finally, the legs take over and before the brain can stifle these natural desires, we are up and moving on the dance floor. Inhibitions lost, people sway to the melody, twirl and swirl with their partner. At Vermont contra dances, young and old gather in community, moving in sync as sparks of light in intimate joy. Photo by Roger H. Katz, Vermont Photographer.    

Funny, but it was not until mid-life that I developed an appreciation for classical music.Then I fell helplessly in love with listening. For the first year, I lost all interest in any other music genres. Songs with words were only a distraction. Ah, but the violin cried out with exquisite sensitivity and piano's notes, light as feathers, would skip and run towards the highest peaks then delight in floating back home.  

  Nature’s music offers a sense of peace. Amidst restlessness we are drawn to the calm of a crackling fire, find joy in a bird’s solitary song, are mesmerized by ocean waves, invigorated by river’s roar, quieted by rustling leaves, reflective with summer crickets, enclosed by rain drumming rooftops, awakened by distant church bells tolling, comforted with hush of nightfall and the twinkling of stars. Music coaxes us to relax and de-stress, return to our breath and reconnect with our source. “Music can be made by anyone, anything, anywhere… so if this is your goal, remember first the sound of your soul – then create it!” ~Empathism

 Music is a bridge between heaven and earth. Music and singing can lead us into deeper listening and meditative prayer. In the Christian tradition, Taizé prayer seeks to include people and traditions worldwide. Voices uplifted in song or in the sounds of cadenced chanting become the instruments and conduits of God’s infinite Love. Father Peter Hickman once said, “Singing is praying twice,” isn’t that a lovely thought?   “Open your heart and you will hear the lutes of the angels.” ~Rumi

 Music is associated with amazing healing effects on the body. In various studies, certain kinds of music have actually lowered blood pressure and heart rate, calmed breathing and reduced cholesterol levels. Research has shown that soothing music (such as classical, Eastern, harp, and chant) can actually improve a person’s immune system (Kate Mucci.)

In Hinduism and some Eastern traditions, there is the most sacred syllable of Aum. It is their belief that Aum is the primal sound that contains all other sounds of the universe. Aum symbolizes the Oneness of God and the interconnectedness of all beings. The seed center of all sound, the point of vision. There are two movements in life, a movement towards and a movement away but at the center is union. As humans, we all strive for a sense of wholeness, balance and harmony in our lives. Music offers us a lovely invitation. “The end of all good music is to affect the soul.” ~Claudio Monteverdi

I offer this marvelous music video that was shared with me by Christina Gomes of Portugal.

~Liz Sorensen Wessel

Days 104-106 - The Seventh Energy of Radical Loving Care - Peace

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives." - John 14:27 (NRSV)

   Jesus came to be called the Prince of Peace. His life and words help us understand that peace is not purely a matter of silence and comfort. The world brings us the horror of war and the noise of conflict. In all of this, we yearn for peace. Yet, Jesus tells us we achieve peace by transcending the world. 

   As we live our worldly journey, we find peace through turning our hearts to God's Love. For many of us, this peace may be fleeting, occasionally drowned out by the shouts of life. Yet, those who are the strongest among us have found and settled upon the peace of God. What does this mean to caregivers?

   Through Jesus we discover a sacred mystery described as, "The peace that passes all understanding." What is this peace? How can we achieve it if it "passes all understanding?"  

   This peace can be found. But, not through any intellectual exercise. Instead, caregivers who choose the path of Love will periodically discover the energy of peace as they go about serving others.  

   If we reflect on the life of Jesus, we will see that he is, of course, the model for all seven of Love's energies. Regardless of our faith, Jesus' life and teachings offer a supreme path to understanding the great strength Love offers - and how hard it is for us to live Love in our life as caregivers.

   God's Love is all inclusive. We can all learn from Christ's example.  

   Peace is not found solely through prayer or by sitting in a meditative position beside a quiet brook. It can, of course, be found amid great noise and confusion.

   As Roman soldiers and officials ridiculed and tortured him, Jesus expressed a sense of serenity. This is because his level of faith and inner peace was complete.

   This is the example Mother Theresa followed and it is what those nearby saw in her face as she cared for the dying in the slums of Calcutta. It is also the peace and dignity we saw on the face of Martin Luther King as crowds spit on him and screamed racial epithets and the police aimed fire hoses at him. 

   And it what we see on the faces of loving caregivers - compassion in the presence of anger, skill in the face of rudeness, Love in the presence of hateful behavior.   

  Does this mean we are called to act superhuman? Jesus occupied a human body. We know this because he suffered so profoundly that even he cried out to God from the cross, "Why hast thou forsaken me?"

   Perhaps, this deeply human expression has come from our mouths as well. In the midst of our faith, in the midst of thinking we have found the strength and energy of inner peace, something terrible happens in our lives. A patient we thought would live dies suddenly. A child is killed in an accident. A husband betrays his wife (or vice versa.) A diagnosis of cancer arrives in our ears.

   At times like these, serenity abandons us and we cry out like Christ: "Oh God, why have you forsaken me?"

   Whenever I hear someone say this, as many family members did after 9/11, I can't help but ask why these individuals somehow think they would be exempt from life's assaults. None of us are.

   We have all received plenty of bad news. If we live long enough, we will receive more. If we are able to think more clearly about God as Love, our self-focused questions may fade.

   Tragedy strikes so many every day. God's Love is always there for us no matter what happens.

   For everyone, including caregivers, peace does not live in our hearts as an impenetrable shield. Instead, there are many moments when we may feel it deserting us.

   It is the other way around. Peace lives like Love. It is always present.

   Peace doesn't run from us. In our panic, we run from it. We search desperately for something else to grab onto forgetting that the energy of Love's peace is our only salvation. 

  When we have found true grounding in Love, when we have discovered and engaged all of Love's energy, we will learn the pathway out of trouble and back into our own inner peace.

   Caregivers train themselves to be professional. They learn to express calm in the middle of bloody surgeries in the operating room, mangled limbs in the ER, and sudden death.

   Outward calm is not the same as inner peace. Professionalism appears on the outside based on our training and the instructions from our minds. But the energy of peace flows deeper than our minds and lives as spiritual strength. True professionals, the best caregivers, have found this kind of peace within.

   Caregivers who have found the seventh energy of Love may seem different to us. For example, their cool professional mask softens when needed, allowing them to cry and laugh with their patients.

   I have seen this kind of radical presence in two of the finest and most Loving doctors I know. Dr. Liz Krueger writes about laughing, crying, and praying alongside the parents of babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care unit. Dr. Keith Hagan offers the same gifts when he sits with adult patients distraught over a diagnosis of cancer.

   Cool professionals may not understand this as Love's energy. But, it is. It exists as the best kind of professionalism. The best caregivers I know have allowed Love to inform them what the patient needs, not what they want.

   Peace offers strength. So long as it occupies our human spirit, we will experience a serenity that only Love can bring to us.

   Caregivers sometimes find this in their sacred encounters with patients. Often, it is patients who teach us about peace, not the other way around.

   Gratitude helps us enrich our sense of peace. Resentment, bitterness, anger, all push peace away becase these feelings arise from fear.

   Inner peace, the kind that "passes all understanding" is not something that can be taught in a classroom, Instead, we change first by raising our awareness of this most powerful of all energies of Love.  Second, we accept that this peace is available to us. Third, we picture a new way in our lives - a way in which we first see ourselves as living lives of peace and Love. Finally,we practice this energy of Love.

   The process does not have an end point. Instead, Love is always present. The energy of peace simultaneously opens our hearts and steadies our hands  - especially during the most trying times. As we discover peace in the midst of chaos, we learn that peace can provide us with Love's strength at all times.

   The peace I have described may seem to be something beyond our reach. Backward steps are certain. So long as our journey to Love continues, we will find that peace is already entering our hearts - there to stay so long as we nurture it. There to return after we may have lost our sense of it during some period of panic or fatigue.

   Jesus freed himself from all fear. He did this not by banishing fear, but by expressing Love. His life and teachings offers this example to us all.

-Rev. Erie Chapman .

Days 102-103 - The Sixth Energy - Positive Thinking, Hope & Fun

“If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.” - Abraham Lincoln

   Fear threatens. Love affirms.

   Negative thinking slams the door on hope. When we are closed off from hope, Love's light fades.

   Of course, the world is never this clear-cut. We are bound to the earth by more than gravity. The world makes persistent claims on our spirituality. To transcend the world, we seek other-worldly energy - the energy of God's Love.

   The life of Abraham Lincoln shows us that saintly people struggle, and often fail, in their efforts to transcend. At best, they accomplish transcendent Love at key moments. As these moments pass, the world, with all its demands, crashes back in on us.

   The energy of positive thinking does not mean we are perpetually happy. In fact, a struggle to be happy all the time means we are out of touch with the grief in the world.

   Positive energy enables us to hold hope in our hearts. Loving leaders like Lincoln, hold onto this hope in the darkest times - and help lead the rest of us through until light is found once again.  

   Victor Frankl held this hope in a concentration camp setting so grim there seemed no hope of light returning - ever. Mother Theresa sustained hope in the midst of caring for those without hope. Martin Luther King held hope in the midst of his cell in the Montgomery County Jail. 

   It's very tough for most of us to change negative thinking. Even generally positive thinkers often stumble. After all, the world is filled with pain. Lovers find the strength to inject hope right into the middle of this pain. This is what Gandhi did for decades in leading India out of darkness. It is what Lincoln did during the Civil War.

  And this is what loving caregivers do. They bring hope to those of us frightened by illness or injury.

   Important change often requires a quantum shift in our thought patterns. Indeed, "thinking" may not be exactly the right word to use next to "positive." For analytical thinking alone is not enough, To keep Love's hope engaged, lovers listen to the wisdom of an open heart. 

   To become the kind of positive, hopeful presence that patients and others need us to be, we are called to change our hearts. It is a changed heart that creates positive thought patterns. A heart that lives in gratitude. A heart that has found God's grace.

   Show me a negative thinker and I'll show you a failure. If you are looking for trouble, you will find it.If you're expecting defeat, it will come to meet you.

   There are apparent, but not actual, exceptions. For example, sometimes performers (including caregivers as they give care) act in negative ways. But, if they are truly successful, they carry strong threads of positive inner thought.

   Finding the good in others, as Lincoln did, means we first have to find it in ourselves. Humor is the path we sometimes need to choose in order to stay balanced. No caregiver can sustain Love's energy without occasionally engaging the power of fun and play.

   Abe Lincoln's understanding of the importance of humor ran so deep that he often used it to help his fellow leaders stay balanced. In the midst of his battle to pass the Emancipation Proclamation, he told some jokes to his staff. 

   Some cabinet members disapproved of Lincoln's light-hearted efforts in the middle of a grim time.  “Gentlemen, why don’t you laugh?" Lincoln said. "With the fearful strain that is upon me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die, and you need this medicine as much as I do.” 

  Caregivers are in need of the same energy.  Humor is a way to access positive thinking. Humor brings hope. And positive thinking is a key to Love.

  President Abraham Lincoln's understanding of the need for positive thinking and the importance of seeing the best in others is clearly revealed in his Presidential decisions. His first cabinet selections proved this. He chose all of his serious opponents to serve with him!

   As a result, he ended up with one of the finest cabinets in history. Unfortunately, no other President has chosen to follow this example, choosing instead to see the negative in their opponents instead of the positive.    

   Although Lincoln presided over a Civil War that darkened the hearts of millions, his humor was legendary. “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be," he said.

   Lincoln himself battled depression (as did his wife, Mary.) Still, he was able to tap Love's energy by remaining positive and affirming others in the midst of enormous adversity. And it was his sense of humor that helped him regain the balance he needed to be a caregiver for all Americans.

   Love's affirmation needs to begin within each of us. As we learn to love and affirm ourselves - to accept God's Love - we find the energy often called positive thinking.

   High purpose leaders are deeply in need of positive energy to sustain Love's energy. Mark Twain, George Bernard Shaw and movie director Billy Wilder are all purported to have said, "If you're going to tell the truth, you better make it funny, otherwise, people will kill you."   

   The truth is, most doctors, nurses, social workers, technicians focus so heavily on fixing that they lose the magic of healing. Healing can only come through us if we are in touch with our spirituality. If we are out of touch with our spirituality, we will be unable to hear the voice of Love. For, God's energy travels to us through the pathway of our spirituality.  

   Humor helps caregivers avoid the trap of becoming too intense. Humor helps us refresh and restore and re-open the door we sometimes close to Love. Humor helps protect us from the arrogance of taking ourselves too seriously. "Take your work seriously, but not yourself," Bobby Kennedy said. And this kind of thinking is what helped all of the Kennedy brothers lead effectively.

   Positive energy is also found in play. Playful thinking keeps us young. George Bernard Shaw wrote: "We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop planing."

   As if to prove his point, Shaw lived to be ninety-four. In course of doing so, he gave us some of the greatest dramas ever written. Included among his best work is the brilliant play "Pygmalion," which formed the basis for the movie, "My Fair Lady" about a person who undergoes a dramatic life transformation.

   We all need a Pygmalion-style reformation to learn how to open a continuous flow of hope's energy through our lives. With hope, we thrive. Without hope, we barely exist.

   Positive thinking is often misunderstood. It doesn't mean we're laughing all the time. It doesn't mean we're happy and upbeat on all occasions. It doesn't mean we get what we want. More importantly, it helps us deal well with whatever comes.

   For what positive energy does is fuel hope. Without it, we might, as Lincoln warned, die a spiritual death. With hope, we can heal both ourselves and others. 

-Erie Chapman

Day 100-101 Loving the Questions

 “A Sacred Encounter: when need has been heard and is answered with Love.” ~ Rev. Erie Chapman

One of the gifts I have received by keeping company with this Journal is the exploration of thought provoking questions posed by Erie. His inquiry gets me to think about my life in ways I might not otherwise contemplate. To reflect upon the “how” I engage life and the “what and why” of my thoughts and attitudes leads me into a deeper self awareness. The process of musing over a challenging question holds immeasurable value for new revelations.  

  An alchemy of sorts occurs when our thoughts float from an inner realm of the mind through the movements of our hand and onto the paper to form words. Thoughts expressed in written language transmute to take on new life and meaning. Something intriguing happens when we tell our stories. It is as if, in the telling we discover something perhaps lost or hidden within, something not yet revealed to our conscious awareness. Such thoughts once crystallized become realizations of our innate truth. Sometimes early events in life and our responses to them can profoundly shape our life’s destiny.   

At least this is something of my experience. Erie once asked us a question about our mothers' love and the impact it had on our formation. Actually, I had never given this much thought. Then, I recalled an event that had a significant impact on my life. I was ten years old when I became very ill. Dr. Cahill, our family physician made a home visit and next I knew I was whisked away to the hospital via ambulance. My mom stayed by my side day and night offering me the comfort of her love. I was critically ill with spinal meningitis. For three days, it was uncertain if I would live. I remember the isolation room was dark and I had to lay flat on my back. I could not drink and I was extremely thirsty. The headaches were severe. I was scared and uncomfortable. Mom told me she wished she could trade places with me.

It was not until 40 years later, as I reflected on Erie’s Journal question and when I wrote my response, I realized the connection between my close brush with death, the gift of my mother’s loving presence and my work as a caregiver. Since beginning of my nursing career in 1977, I’ve been drawn to care for people who were dying. Although it was scary at first, I intuitively knew that this is when people need us to be there for them. I finally understood what a precious gift my mom had given me. I learned not to run, but instead to offer a loving presence. My childhood experience had shaped the course of my life.

Currently, I am reading a book called, “Three Cups of Tea” by authors Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. In this book the writers recount a tragic event that occurred in Mortenson's family. His younger sister Christa, was stricken with spinal meningitis at the age of three. The illness left her with a severe seizure disorder and she had difficulty performing even the basic tasks of daily living. Sadly, on her 23 birthday, Christa died of a massive seizure. It is clear to me, that Christa’s challenges in life, her untimely death, and Greg's profound love of his sister influenced the direction and unique turn his life has taken.

(Photo at left, Mortenson engaged with school children)

In 1993, while Mortenson attempted a treacherous climb in the Karakorma mountains of Pakistan, he lost his way. Eventually, he stumbled into the remote and impoverished village of Korphe. The villagers welcomed and cared for Greg with extraordinary kindness. He wanted to repay the villagers for their hospitality and vowed to return to build a desperately needed school. Since then Mortenson’s impassioned compassion drove him to build over 50 schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. During his time spent with the children of Korphe, Greg said he could feel Christa’s presence. “Everything about their life was a struggle. They reminded me of the way Christa had to fight for the simplest things. And also the way she had of persevering, no matter what life threw at her.”

A compelling force or a “calling” is fueled when we are confronted on a very human level by the dire needs of another. Action motivated by loving intention can propel us toward our destiny, even without our conscious knowing. I can’t help wonder if it is the questions (rather than answers) that reveal to us the intricate and exquisite connections we all share. This interdependence creates purpose and meaning in our lives. Perhaps, it is not so much the search for the right answers that matters as much as to trust the mystery and to know that we can live into the answers.

I leave you with this quote by an extraordinary poet, Rainer Maria Rilke, "Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

~ Liz Wessel

Day 97-99 - The Fifth Energy: Prayer, Meditation & Self-Care

"Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the immediate moment.” - Alan Watts.

   From where did Mother Theresa derive her enormous energy? The short answer is: from God.

   But, if Mother Theresa drew (or, more accurately, received) her energy from God, why can't we? The answer is that we can.

   Like others, I am forever using Mother Theresa as an example. She was not only a great Loving leader, she was and, in the eyes of many, a saint. But, to some, who didn't see her potential, she was a very unlikely possibility. Like, Gandhi, she was so diminutive that, at a glance, that you might miss her because you would look over her head.

   She famously said that her mission was to care for "the poorest of the poor." This means that she committed her ministry of Love to caring for those who seemed totally without hope. In the practical terms of the world, many of those Theresa and her nuns looked after had only days or hours to live. No one else would bother with them. They were perhaps even lower, in the eyes of many, than "untouchables."

   Theresa "followed Jesus into the slums," to use her words. How did she find the ability to express such great Love?

   She found her answer through prayer and meditation. It was only in this way that she could discern her calling. She not only heard God speaking to her, but she heard so clearly and powerfully that, even when she doubted God, she never turned back from her mission.

   The energy of prayer and meditation is that,through silence and self-care, we prepare ourselves to feel God's energy flowing in us and through us. Lovers know that God's energy lies within. They also know it needs constant nurturing and renewal.

   We need to reflect, pray, meditate, lest our life be consumed lists & shallow transactions. We all need to find time to pull back in order to assure that our actions are informed by Love. Absent Love, our work, and therefore our life, loses meaning.

   Prayer & reflection helps us gain perspective so that we may realign our life energy with God. These practices keep Lovers in touch with what Lincoln called "the better angels of our nature." 

   There is a great deal we can learn from Buddhist thinking about the energy of prayer and meditation and why it is essential to self-care. Buddhist thinking is not contrary to Christian thinking or the theology of any religion (except that it does not, as do some religions, preach violence.)

   Siddhartha (6th century B.C.E.) recognized as the founder of Buddhism, wrote that "Meditation brings wisdom; lack of meditation leaves ignorance...choose the path that leads to wisdom."

   Christian clergy have said similar things. Consider the wisdom of the Bishop Jeremy Taylor (1613-1667) who wrote: "Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit."

   As caregivers, we can hear "the language of our spirit" in many ways: as we exercise, eat, experience art, serve another, or watch the world. But, it is when we are quiet - in prayer and silence, that we are most likely to hear most clearly the power of this fifth energy - to discover that "meditation is the tongue of the soul."

   Mother Theresa discovered that. So have many others. So can we.

-Erie Chapman  

Days 95-96 - The Fourth Energy - Persistence

"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won.” Mahatma  Gandhi  

    We often think of persistence in terms of drudgery – a sort of forced march to our goal in the midst of high hardship. Sometimes this is true.

   The path to any important purpose requires that we swim against the tide. The goal always lies in the darkest part of the woods – the place that needs the light, the territory where most lack the courage to travel.

   But, Mark Twain’s words on work are just as true. Look carefully to this insight: “The work that is really a man’s [sic] own work is play and not work at all.” (italics added.)

   How can hard work become "play?" We know we are engaged in our true calling when our work brings us joy. This doesn’t mean we enjoy every single moment. There will always be thorns amid roses.

  Sacred work is fed from within us by a deep sense of energy. We tap this energy when we open our lives to God's Love. Aligning our lives with our true calling enables us to capture the energy of  persistence. This alignment explains why Gandhi, Mother Thersa, Helen Keller, Martin Luther King, and countless anonymous caregivers, have been able to persist against odds others would find impossible.

  The energy of persistence enables people to climb Mount Everest, to explore unknown territories, to enter dangerous slums to help the poor, and to endure poverty and depression to create great art. It enables accomplishments which seem superhuman because the energy is not from the person but from God's Love. 

   Among the most courageous examples of leadership in all history is found in the fifty-year journey of Mahatma Gandhi. Gandhi began standing up for the oppressed in South Africa in 1893. He moved his struggle to India in 1915. It took him thirty-three more years to lead hundreds of millions of his fellow Indians into the bright land of freedom from British rule and oppression.

   During the last twenty-five years of his struggle, Gandhi led exclusively with the use of non-violence and civil disobedience. 

   In the fashion of Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, Catholic nuns, Buddhist monks and others who put aside worldly comforts, Gandhi, a Hindu, surrendered his life to God's Love. He endured imprisonment, long periods of fasting, and personal beatings to respond to God's calling.

  The struggles of people like Gandhi (bending forward in photo during the famous "Salt March" to protest British taxes) may sometimes seem far removed from caregiving. Yet, Gandhi
exemplifies caregiving at its finest. His advocacy led to dignity and better living conditions for hundreds of millions of people. His humility was legendary (he wore his simple draping of white cloth on all occasions, even when he met British royalty.) His example of persistence in the face of odds that seemed impossible makes him a superb example of the energy of persistence.

   Gandhi's life helps highlight one way to look at a layered truth that describes the differences between other life choices versus living Love:   

• Mediocrity is the path of those who have no purpose, no motivation and a deep apathy toward the gift of life. They live ignoring God's Love.
• Average is characterized by work that lacks inspiration. Still, "average" involves performing dutifully if not exceptionally. It is limited by doing only what is required and never more. This approach is practiced by an astonishing number of hospital and hospice CEOs.
• Excellence is seen in those who have a sincere commitment to doing well and constantly work to excel. However, they sometimes rely on gifts of ego instead of trusting God's Love.  
• Radical Love: The struggles of Gandhi show us that the energy of persistence is essential to expressing God's Love. Lovers - those who truly live Love - enter a sacred territory, a sanctuary that exists at the highest peak of life. From this peak, they touch the hem of God.

   Each of us can Live love. As we seek the Loving life, the biggest obstacle is always the interference of ego - our pride in thinking we are the ones who have done great things instead of recognizing that Radical Love comes through us, not from us.

   All of us, saints included, are vulnerable to surrendering to the pride which ego fosters. Every so often come times when we let go of ego. It is then that we feel God's presence, even if only for a moment.  

-Rev. Erie Chapman

Days 93-94 Lilies of the Heart

(Photo at left) Helen's Easter Lilies
Easter Lilies symbolize renewal, rebirth and new life in a spiritual sense. During springtime, these lovely flowers faithfully reemerge from deep within the crevasses of earth as a source of joy, hope and inspiration.

 I have many fond memories of Easter and hosting dinners at our home with family and friends. A family  tradition was to together at mom and pop Wessel's for the big horseradish grind prior to holiday. Then on Easter, my in-laws arrived for dinner with a variety of home baked breads and a hearty greeting for all. Bread made of Love to be broken and shared at table. Helen always brought an abundance of bread for everyone to take one or two loaves home with them. Pop proudly delivered his homegrown Russian and German style horseradish to enjoy with the honey-baked ham. The Easter season held great meaning for Helen; it was her favorite time of year. It was not until both of my in-laws had died that I realized these family gatherings were in essence Holy Communion.

"Resurrection" mandala watercolor, in loving remembrance of  Helen Wessel painted by Liz Wessel.
Years ago, Helen gave us bulbs from her garden to plant in our yard. During Holy week every year, splendid white and red etched lilies come back for a long awaited visit. As I delight in their beauty I am reminded of Easters past, and I know that Helen’s spirit has come to bless us and to say, “I love you,” anew.

 I have permission to share this glorious Easter greeting with you from the Ministry of Arts sent to you with love from, Maureen Mc Dermott RSJ

Art, "Awakening Dawn," and greeting by Mary Southard, CSJ 

May all that God has planted within you

rise vibrant and growing this Springtime.  Wishing you a Happy Easter! 

 "God looked at everything . . .   and found it very good." Genesis 1:31 

"It all lies before us -- pristine, beautiful, clean and glistening, just like the April days stretching ahead. . .   New forms of life emerge from what was once a wasteland; grains of wheat burrow deep and flower into beauty. . .we should be truly amazed. On this Easter, made holy by redeeming Love. . .may we share joyfully in this hymn of transformation. Revel in the Beauty of nature today. Bless the Beauty discovered in others. Affirm the Beauty residing in you. Find it all 'very good.' 

(Text is an excerpt from the April 3 reflection by Mary Catherine Barron, CSJ, in "Springtime of the Soul, 2010.” )

  ~Liz Sorensen Wessel