Journal of Sacred Work

Days 273 & 274 - Our Entrances & Our Exits

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players,
They have their exits and entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts...  - Shakespeare - Seven Ages of Man (Painting, at left, Seven Ages of Woman, by Titian (c. 1485-1576)

   I'm told that there is a Buddhist prayer which can be said when someone acquires something material. It is a sympathy prayer. Were I, for example, to get a new car, this prayer might be said with compassion toward me for having this possession. It reflects the awareness that: 1)This material thing will one day depart, perhaps leaving me sad, and 2) Any happiness connected to things may distract me from my spirit.
   This notion is not meant to imply a glum attitude toward the world. Yet, I wonder about gain and loss in terms of our relationships and communities. Our friends and family and patients are no more our possessions than are the material things of the world. Yet, we sometimes mourn their departures as if they were. One of the strangest lines I sometimes hear from nurses is: "My patient died on me." It is as if they imagine the death as a personal crime committed to hurt them.
   We are always entering and leaving - closer to beginnings, or nearer to ends. Each day caregivers, for example, encounter patients whose presence is restricted, in part, by a strange measurement used in hospitals: 'length of stay." What is our length of stay in any community?
   On Sunday, I returned for the first time to a church I used to attend but left in favor of another. Familiar faces greeted me not as a regular member of their community but as a vaguely familiar visitor.
   It's true with every aspect of our lives. We enter a new job, form new relationships, and one day leave that community for another life role. We enter the world of our families at birth and one day exit, returning periodically to a family that changes just as we change. We enter many new relationships. Some of them will last a lifetime, terminated only by our passing (the ultimate exit.) But, most relationships are brief...

Days 269-272 - Heart of the Rose

Today's meditation was written by Cathy Self, Senior Vice-President for the Baptist Healing Trust.

     Hafiz, whose given name was Shams-ud-din Muhammad (c. 1320-1389), is considered by many as the most beloved poet of Persia. He lived at the same time as Chaucer of England, spending his life in becoming a famous Sufi master. At the time of his death, the collection of poems authored by Hafiz is thought to have exceeded 5,000 although only 500 or so have survived and are known today. The gifts of his poetry came to us in English through translation by Ralph Waldo Emerson. The poem shared with you today is one that has appeared before in these pages, and calls again today from the thoughts and images that have been shared in these past few days. The title of this poem is It Felt Love.

How

Did the rose

Ever open its heart

And give to this world

All its

Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light

Against its

Being,

Otherwise,

We all remain

Too

Frightened.

     What thoughts do you experience as you let these words sink in your soul? How have you felt the encouragement of life, and Love, against your being? Do you feel its presence today? I hope so.  This world needs your beauty and sweet fragrance.

Day 268 - Days of Roses and...

They are not long, the days of wine and roses: /Out of a misty dream/Our path emerges for a while, then closes/Within a dream. - Ernest Dowson (1867-1900)

  A good painting or photo of a rose should not need any words. But, I don't know if this image (at left) appears as stunning to you as she does to me. The way her face leans to the light, the way her petals reach to touch each other, the stiff strength of her stem...but, this may not be how you see her.
   In 1962, a movie appeared called "Days of Wine and Roses." It was written by J.P. Miller, directed by Blake Edwards, and starred the great Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick and it won lots of awards. It was such a sensuous title. But, the plot traced a couple drowning in alcohol. The roses fell away, the wine took over.
   We each know that wine can be a lovely compliment to our lives or a treacherous poison. In spite of all our knowledge about alcoholism as a disease, we still pass judgment on those caught in the jaws of this illness.
   I wish for you days of roses mixed, every so often, with a touch (or two) of wine (unless alcohol is something to which your body chemistry may be allergic.) Caregivers need relief from the challenges of their work. Sometimes, it's difficult to slow down and appreciate beauty unless we enjoy a taste of wine as well as a whiff of a gorgeous rose.

-Erie Chapman

Day 267 - What's in a Rose - for you?s

   Roses like the one at left come into our hands as gifts given or received. Their color, texture, aroma, and startling beauty can make them everything from presents of love to symbols of apology. A dozen roses is still something most women consider a great sign of love.
   But it is the roses growing in gardens or blossoming into photographs that have always meant a lot to me. We grew roses in our back yard in California and I remember them  from the time I was small enough to look up at their blooms.
   Flowers also come to patients taken hostage in institutions because of ill health. They land on the shelves of hospitals, hospices and nursing home rooms. They have the ability to soften the cold environments so many institutions project.
  I have also met many roses wearing nurse's uniforms or doctors coats. Caregivers who carry with them the grace of angels can heal with the beauty of their presence. This is a love we can all grow from our hearts if we look deep within and then free from our lives the power of the divine.
   What do roses mean to you in your life as a caregiver?

-Erie Chapman

Day 266 - Encountering the Divine

   Grown with loving care by dear friends in Clarksville, Tennessee, cut at maturity and joined with other divine dancers, presented to us on Sunday peeking from a glass vase, this rose is an expression of the divine.
   Beautiful as this rose is, for a time she was lost among her many stunning sisters. Like each of us, the divine is often hard to spot amidst a crowd. And the divine spirit can be even harder to identify when it is hidden by bloody bandages, wrapped in wrinkled skin, or is lurking deep beneath a face contorted by anger.
    The divine is easy to encounter when there is an obvious match between beauty within and beauty without. There is a bright similarity and a human difference between a dancer twirling like a flower and a flower spreading her petals like a dancer. Yet, sacred eyes can identify the divine in both.
   What about the challenge of the divine that is hidden? When pink turns gray and posture displays the tragedy of alcoholism, our temptation is to pass judgment. How could the divine live in a slumped over "drunk?"      
   Love calls us to search for the divine in the dark places as well as the bright. And, Love calls us also to restore her light by reaching out to the saddest and most wounded among us.
   Today, we will have the opportunity to reach out with Love. How will you invite Love into you life? How will she express herself in your day?

-Erie Chapman

Days 262-265 - On Being Fully Human

Today's meditation was written by Cathy Self, Senior Vice-President for the Baptist Healing Trust.

     "We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings." - Albert Einstein.

    I recently heard a fellow caregiver lament she felt like she was becoming a robot. Her days are filled with expectations from others that are focused on tasks and outputs, with no room for treating each other with warmth or dignity. "It's normal to hear ads on TV that beseech us to treat our animals humanely," she shared, "but maybe we need to start reminding ourselves that WE are human and also need to be treated humanely." Her words have ricocheted through my heart for days.

     A speaker at a class day for a group of soon-to-be doctors shared some wonderful thoughts about being human, words that seem especially meaningful in the context of caregiving. Joyce Johnson, in her address to a graduating class of medical students, suggested that being human implies, first of all, that we are fundamentally the same as our patients in every way that matters. Listening to the stories our patients and clients tell us, striving to understand their story and its place in their lives and value systems is critical. We, too, someday will fall, will grow old, will become ill, and we will also have a story to tell. Being human means we have limitations, just like those we serve; and just like them, we will make mistakes - all of us. And we all need self-care. In its simplest terms, self care includes physical rest, balanced nutrition, and right exercise. But it also means nurturing our spirit, and giving expression to all that is creative within us. A mystery of being human is the need to find meaning. For many of us, finding meaning in our work does not change the facts of our lives; it changes the way we see our lives. And that makes all the difference. This is quite a shopping list in our quest for humanity.

Days 259-261 - Art as Loving Care

"Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love." – Monet

   Claude Monet's painting, Impression Sunrise (1872) was first exhibited publicly in 1874. Subsequently, it became known by many as the painting that launched the Impressionist Revolution. The very title became the descriptor for countless paintings through which artists shared their impressions. And in doing this, they said, like the great Monet: You don't need to understand, "it is simply necessary to love."

   Before the impressionists, most artists sought to paint as "realistically" as possible. Along came photography which instantly challenged the painter's craft. Yet the spirit of art remained. True artists had always appreciated that every depiction is a perception.

   Artists understand that creativity is about how brilliantly we can communicate to each other the indescribable and the sacred.

   The impressionists understood that we don't see a tree, a pear, a nude or a sunrise the same way. In fact, we all see things so very differently that it's remarkable anyone could suggest otherwise. During my years as a trial lawyer, I came to understand this as I learned that three witnesses to a crime or an auto accident typically saw three different kinds of things in three different ways....

   
  

Days 256-258 - Open Forum

These are open forum days. Please share you thoughts with other caregivers by clicking on Comments, below.
Thank you,
erie

Day 255 - The Blessing of Hope

Today's meditation was written by Cathy Self, Senior Vice President for the Baptist Healing Trust.

     According to tradition, Pandora, the first mortal woman, received from Zeus a box that she was forbidden to open. The box contained all human blessings, and all human curses. Temptation overcame restraint, and Pandora opened the box. In a moment, all the curses were released into the world, and all of the blessings escaped and were lost - except one: hope. Without hope, you see, mortals could not endure. I've been in the company of caregivers this week who have lost hope. They tell me they greet each day with dread, and count the days remaining until they may find release through retirement, change of job, or simply, as one put it, "waiting for the courage to just run away." Others in the same group were overflowing with gratitude for their work, and spoke of great hope even in the face of great challenges and ceaseless demands. But what is hope, and how do we hold it safe in our lives?

Day 254 - Clothed for Prayer

   Each day, we dress to meet the world. Many spend long periods each morning washing, dressing, applying make-up, doing hair, arranging clothes just so. On the way to work, I see women and men checking the mirror to see if...if what? Do we look "okay." Are we ready to meet others?  We all want to present our best selves as we encounter our fellow beings. We know that others are constantly judging our appearance just as we judge theirs.
   How do we dress for our encounter with the holy? Most faiths have elaborate rituals around this and many of those rituals include clothing. Jewish men (and some women) approach prayer by donning a shawl called a tallit. The Torah mandates that the tallit include a critical detail - a thread of blue know as the tekhelet. The corners of the tallit have knotted fringes known as tzitzit. All of these aspects hold sacred meaning for Jews as they approach their morning encounter with Yahweh.
   As most of us know, Catholics engage the rosary. Those Catholics who have dedicated their lives to their faith change clothes for the occasion. Nuns and priest discard ordinary western clothes for the dark simplicity of clothes. Their senior leaders - bishops, cardinals and popes, escalate their dress adding more and more gold embroidery on the assumption that somehow richer clothes better signify the hierarchy involved in sacred encounter - the richer the clothes, the assumption is, the better we are prepared to meet God...

Days 252-253 - Quiet Desperation?

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. - Henry David Thoreau (1854)

   I encountered Thoreau, as have many others, through his book, Walden. It came into my hands in my early schooling. Reading it, I fell to day day-dreaming about the idyllic life I imagined Thoreau had led as he retreated from society to live beside a pond in the woods. How many of us have imagined such an existence? How tempting it seems to run from the noise of the world into a setting filled with bird songs, the rhythmic lap of a lake kissing the shore, the wide sky as ceiling.
    In his extensive ruminations, Thoreau offers his seering insight about our lives of "quiet desperation." His words often haunt me as I struggle with my own, periodic sense of loneliness and alienation from a world where I often feel completely out of place.
   Does "quiet desperation" describe the lives of all thoughtful people? Do we all secretly feel we are headed to our graves with our song still trapped within? How about you, as a caregiver? How do you feel?

-Erie Chapman

Days 249-251 - Open Forum & Request for Prayers

   These are our traditional, end-of-the week, open forum days. In addition, I'd like to ask that you offer prayers for one of our most dedicated contributors, Liz Wessel and her family. Liz advises that she will be away for the next several days helping care for her dear brother, John. John is experiencing life threatening illness and we send our love to him, Liz and all those dear to them.

-Erie

Day 248 - Loving Out of Brokenness

Today's mediation was written by Cathy Self, Senior Vice President for the Baptist Healing Trust.

     Henri Nouwen has written of the mystery of the human heart in relationship to one another, and suggests our greatest fulfillment lies in giving ourselves to others. Beyond what others have asserted as a universal need to love and be loved, Nouwen believes we all have a simple and pure desire to give, even if from our own brokenness or view of ourselves as not quite capable. The picture Nouwen paints of this paradox of desire to give from brokenness is captured beautifully in Leonard Bernstein's musical presentation titled "Mass." Originally commissioned by Jackie Kennedy in memory of President John F. Kennedy, the musical premiered in 1971. Though the characters begin in great harmony and agreement with one another, doubts emerge and confusion spreads. In the end, the holy chalice lies broken on the stage. The priest looks at it for a long time and then quietly remarks "I never realized that broken glass could shine so brightly." How does this paradox stand in the light of Love?

Day 247 - Loving Friendship

   A friend has come to me over the past few days to share a terrible loss in his life. As I have sat with him, I have wondered about what kind of loving presence might ease his suffering.
   There are those who believe that our role in such situations is to be presence, but to understand that we cannot take the suffering away, we can only make it a bit more tolerable. Suffering, in this way of thinking, is a required part of our walk with Love.
   As I was contemplating this, one of our regular commentators, Karen York from Alive Hospice in Nashville, sent me these beautiful words from a poem by Hafiz called "Beautiful Hands":

This is the kind of friend
you are -
Without making me realize
my soul's anguished history,
you slip into my house at night,
and while I am sleeping
you silently carry off
all my suffering and sordid past
in your beautiful
hands.

   How joyful to imagine that Love can have such power.

-Erie Chapman

Day 246 - The Wisdom of Saint John

   If Jesus' life seems exalted in our eyes, if the Messiah seems surrounded with the misty halo of long ago, then the lives of his disciples must seem the same - obscure, mysterious and distant. We know that Jesus held a special love for his disciples and perhaps particularly for John, who some believe was the famous "beloved disciple."
   The Bible offers us the well-known Gospel of John and the somewhat less frequently read three letters of John that appear toward the end of the New Testament. In John's first letter, he delivers line after line of life-shaking truth. For all of us who grew up with the belief that God was unknowable and indescribable, the apostle John gives us the best definition of God that has ever been written. And he only takes three words to do it. "God is love," he tells us in 1 John 4:16, "and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them."  There is no greater wisdom than this, if only we can open our hearts to it. Listen to the power of this declaration from John, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear..." Inside this truth is the birth of Radical Loving Care's central statement which calls us to Live Love, not fear. Love drives away fear. Without Love, we are continuously vulnerable to fear's dragon fire.

-Erie Chapman

1) Do you agree that God is Love?

2) How often do you find yourself living in fear instead of in Love?