To emphathize, you recall within yourself a time when you felt even a particle or thread of what another person now seems to feel. With that beginnning, you continue to listen carefully with your heart...coming as close as you can to appreciating what his or her experience is like. You don't try to duplicate it within you - you just stay with it, fathoming it as well as you can. -The Art of Being a Healing Presence - James E. Miller with Susan C. Cutshall
A colleague and friend of mine has a ten-year old daughter. Recently, she came to him and said, "Daddy, I think I'm too dumb and too fat."
What does a father say? It requires empathy to know how to respond to heart-breaking comments like this. But how does a man in his forties empathize with the feelings of a ten-year old girl? What we know is true is that the more he can empathize, the more likely he is to come up with a good answer.
An unthinking answer goes like this: "Stop feeling that way. You're not dumb and you're not fat." This answer denies the person's feelings and doesn't help resolve them...