"I tried to walk correctly but a thin pain/ Reminded me that I was foolish to try to imitate people." - Czeslaw Milosz
Each element in this photograph holds its truth.Every color and form compliments the majesty of the complete image. But, the clouds (unlike the cars and their drivers) are not seeking to imitate.
I think of the rectangular cardboard boxes that arrived with clockwork characteristic of the Book of the Month Club in the 1950s. Those Landmark biographies were the most exciting gifts of my childhood - and they held the message of imitation.
I used to slide the books from their sheathing as if withdrawing a new sword from its scabbard. Slowly, the titles would unfold: Kit Carson. Thomas Edison. Thomas Jefferson.
My nine-year-old enthusiasm was boundless. Don't be like yourself, I was learning, be like those heroes. My ambition surged through me like the Pacific waves charging the nearby Santa Monica Beach.
Our childhood selves live so vulnerable and shapeless that we hunger for models. We mold ourselves to match what we admire.
The church (not to mention an army of school teachers) told me I was bad and needed redemption. I would need to copy someone who was good, I reasoned.
It has taken me a lifetime to realize how much energy I devoted to imitating someone I wasn't. Thinking myself not good enough, I sometimes yielded my persona.
Why did I not heed the "thin pain" that taunted me for being a copycat?
The earth's whisperings are unerring. We can hear them if we lean close.
Honesty lies in the clay from which we are made. In my effort to sculpt myself into someone heroic, I often lost touch with Earth's wisdom.
As I gradually developed my private religion, I began to reject hero after hero. Have you not done the same? We graft superhuman traits onto movie stars and political leaders when they are as flawed as the rest of us.
The earth makes no pretensions. It tells us to align with our nature.
As caregivers, it is essential that we hear our patients. We need to know that our medicines are created to heal illnesses sometimes brought about because our bodies lost truth.
Tranquilizers are not always best for stress. A workaholic is not healed with sleeping pills.
Incline your ear to the whisperings of the forest. The breath of morning takes no steps to steal noon's aroma or paint evening's hues. The oak does not copy the maple. The brown sparrow does not envy the cardinal's red.
Feel your heartbeat. Listen to the rhythm of your breath. Strip before the mirror and know that each part of you is sculpted to live a full and vital life.
Health is balance. Amid society's confusing pressures, return to the earth and listen to her whisperings.
-Reverend Erie Chapman
I love this essay Erie. I find myself always longing to be more a part of nature and find my best respite when I spend time there. So many poems come to mind about this very topic... Rilke says... "Each thing--each stone, blossom, child--is held in place. Only we, in our arrogance, push beyond what we each belong to for some empty freedom. If we surrendered to earth's intelligence, we could rise up rooted, like trees. Instead we entangle ourselves in knots of our own making and struggle, lonely and confused..."
Surrender to the earth, to the universe, to the love calling us to live beyond our fears. (I should have been a hippie...) :-)
Posted by: Karen York | January 26, 2012 at 08:52 AM
Reading this makes me think about my current struggles with fitting in...and I mean "fitting in" in many ways. Fitting into society...fitting into a future career that is suited to me. At times it feels that just being, simply, who I am, is difficult. But I do not think imitation is necessarily inconducive to combatting an inability to mesh with others. Sometimes a little imitation can help a person find out more about himself. Imitating another caregiver's practice in helping heal others, for example, can lead to one's own practice, more developed and and unique to that person later on.
Erie, I also like your emphasis on the deep connection we each have with nature. We are drawn to natural remedies, but a lot of the time, too, we become disillusioned by the "quick-fixes" and other supposed means of healing. It helps to remember that we were created to live full lives, as you say. But in order to do that, we need to take time to slow down and be in tune with ourselves. So we can listen.
Posted by: Angelica Tronco | January 26, 2012 at 06:23 PM
Another riveting meditation, Erie, “health is balance” Return and listen. A return to Love; to remember our true nature.
“For when you find Her, you will understand how worthless are your idols, and how false the images which you believed were you.”
“I am as God created me” – CIM
P.S. Marvelous photo.
Posted by: ~liz Wessel | January 27, 2012 at 08:53 AM
Good food for thought here, dear Erie. Life is full of contrasts, isn't it. Fortunately or unfortunately, contrasts give us the opportunity to learn, to grow and to find our true selves. We are always being pointed to our path, but do we always listen?
We may lose ourselves to role models for a time, but I wonder if those we admire and strive to emulate, are maybe really touching bits of the real us buried deep inside. Maybe we recognize aspects of ourselves in our role models. Our "real selves" are beautiful beings that get mired in personalities. Our Personalities get formed by our experiences and role models may (or may not)remind us of how we can be better. I think we all have to be careful in your choices though! :)
I like the imagery you describe in your photo - how all aspects of nature compliment each other in the majesty of the whole not only visually but with the energy of just being. So we all, in our myriad and colorful personalities, contribute to the whole of life which reflects the energy of our oneness.
Hearing each other and "listenting" to what the the body is telling us about its condition is essential to guidance and healing for anyone suffering from dis-ease of the body. I have learned with the practice of Reiki how important it is to listen to people's stories for clues for healing and how important it is to listen to the body's wisdom. The body never lies, have you noticed?
I haven't had a chance to come to the Journal for a while, so want to wish everyone a most Happy 2012, which I know will be extra full of contrasts and color!
Posted by: Maria Doglio | January 27, 2012 at 02:48 PM
Hi Erie, I especially resounded with, "as caregivers, it is essential that we hear our patients...tranquilizers are not always best for stress. A workaholic is not healed with sleeping pills." As a hospice nurse, I remember many times when pain was not relieved by pain medications. When that happened, we would offer a visit from the chaplain, and we'd often hear after their visit that the person was finally sleeping comfortably.
Posted by: Stephanie | January 27, 2012 at 07:33 PM
.... slowing down and feeling my heartbeat, listening to the rhythm of my breath... seeing all of my own responses to her whisperings... perhaps it might remind me to give up the illusion that I deserve a problem free life, instead... living a full and vital life in His perfection.
Posted by: Marily | January 28, 2012 at 08:29 PM