"Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it is simply necessary to love." – Monet
The eyes of the nurse meet the eyes of the patient in pain. "I feel so terrible," the patient says.
"I understand," the nurse replies. But, does she? Can we truly understand the complex pain of another when we are not experiencing it ourselves?
When deep pain is an agony of body, mind and spirit it is difficult to reach through simple analysis. Heartbreak does not appear on any EKG. Fear does not register on an MRI. It may be easier to meet pain with understanding than it is with Love. For Love asks something beyond understanding.
Doctors try to fix pain by diagnosing it and relieving it with various kinds of treatment including medication. Yet, pain often creates another kind of attack on the spirit. The agony of heartbreak and melancholia can generate a kind of isolation and loneliness that lives in some deeper part of the forest.
Claude Monet invited us to the image on the canvas. Others ask us to love the words shaped as poetry, or plays, or novels. This love seems to mean accepting, appreciating and embracing. Most of all, it may mean loving what we do NOT understand.
Do we truly understand why we feel love for some person or some experience with art? Indeed, reducing an encounter to something we need to "understand" may mean that intellect can sometimes dilute love. Think of the way most medical school professors describe doctor-patient relationships by warning doctors to maintain "professional distance" from patients. To maintain such a distance may imply to medical students that they will need to objectify patients - to treat the disease, not the person.
Similarly, converting a painting to an analytical model may be like dissecting a joke. Jokes that are explained, analyzed and "understood" have been drained of their ability to make us laugh. Think of the response you hear when you explain a joke someone else doesn't "get." After the other person undestands your explanation, do they laugh at the joke or do they say, "Guess you had to be there."
Love does not ask us to understand every aspect of someone else's agony or sadness. It asks us to love the sufferer even more because they are experiencing deep pain.
When we can do this, when we love beyond understanding, we have given the gift of healing.
-Erie Chapman
Wow, Erie. What a fabulous meditation today. It speaks to me at a time when I really need to be reminded of this. Love in the midst of chaos or misunderstanding means pulling my ego away and opening my heart. Thank you.
Posted by: Karen York | June 29, 2009 at 08:38 AM
Love manifests in relationship with one another. Sometimes our attempts fall short of what the person on the receiving end needs most which as you eloquently express is Love… not our words, good intentions or advice. Love is a pure and simple truth. When a person reveals their truth to me I wish to acknowledge it, receive and honor this gift with great reverence because it opens me up to new ways of seeing and I am willing to see differently.
As human beings we often love imperfectly. Yet, if we can keep our hearts open to another’s attempt to offer Love, however imperfectly it may be, without rejection or judgment, Love will manifest. For it is in relationship, when we can recognize the Light in our brother’s eyes, accept and offer forgiveness, that we receive the gift of Love’s healing grace in return.
“If today you hear God’s voice harden not your heart.” ~Hebrews 3:7-8
Posted by: ~liz Wessel | June 29, 2009 at 01:04 PM
Yes, I will do as Love asks.
Posted by: ~liz Wessel | June 30, 2009 at 08:02 AM
when we love beyond our understanding, we have been given the gift of healing......this verse speaks to me more loudly today than when I first read it. I remember this statement and my memory was called to back ot it today to find comfort in the loss of my friend that goes beyond my understanding. thankyou for sharing and thankyou for this site! You have been a blessing in my life!
Posted by: ann kaiser | July 04, 2009 at 01:39 PM